I have issues with my bishop

Flowerchild · #1 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 02:29 PM

So my bishop is so arrogant! He always, ALWAYS! uses himself and his perfect little family as the perfect example that everyone should follow, even though his oldest kid is in the 5th grade. What does he know about raising kids!!! We have people in our ward with REAL problems with their teens and adult children (around his age). All he does is kiss up to our Stake president and have special parties with the "elite" memebers of our ward.

I know I shouldn't have these feelings and I feel really guilty, but I just don't know how to get over it

SquidMom · #2 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 02:38 PM

Everyone has their faults, and bishops are people, too. I had a HORRIBLE bishop once, and a bad experience with him actually drove away from the church for several years. I eventually got my head, (and my pride,) out of my rear end and decided not to let one idiot keep me away from the entire organization. If he bothers you that much, just avoid him as much as possible. Or at least, avoid talking about the issues you feel he is so pig-headed about, anyway. There is usually someone else in the upper eschelons of the priesthood that you can talk to.

slamjet · #3 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 02:43 PM

Yes, I had a few like that. When I was a teen, I had a Bishop who would look at my family cross-eyed because a couple of my siblings went "off the reservation." Then it happened to him and he told my dad that "he didn't know what went wrong." It happens to most all families. It hasn't come up for his family... yet.

Backroads · #4 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 02:45 PM

My guess... he's probably trying to make his family sound better than they really are. I imagine he feels that, as bishop, he ought to have the perfect family to present to the ward, so he goes out of his way to hide problems. If you could peak in on that family, really peak in on them, you'd find them to be just as flawed as anyone else.

Other than that, I would just roll my eyes and shrug him off when he talks like that... while still sustaining him as bishop.

Bini · #5 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flowerchild

So my bishop is so arrogant! He always, ALWAYS! uses himself and his perfect little family as the perfect example that everyone should follow, even though his oldest kid is in the 5th grade. What does he know about raising kids!!! We have people in our ward with REAL problems with their teens and adult children (around his age). All he does is kiss up to our Stake president and have special parties with the "elite" memebers of our ward.

I know I shouldn't have these feelings and I feel really guilty, but I just don't know how to get over it

I had a bishop I did not trust, that said, sometimes what is meant as inspiration and motivation, comes across as arrogance. On the note of "elite" ward members.. What qualifies as being an elite? I'm assuming these special parties are private? In which case, the bishop and his family are allowed to attend private parties with select individuals. I'm not entirely sold that such circumstances equate to: we are better than everyone else. Just some thoughts..

Vort · #6 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flowerchild

So my bishop is so arrogant! He always, ALWAYS! uses himself and his perfect little family as the perfect example that everyone should follow, even though his oldest kid is in the 5th grade. What does he know about raising kids!!! We have people in our ward with REAL problems with their teens and adult children (around his age). All he does is kiss up to our Stake president and have special parties with the "elite" memebers of our ward.

I know I shouldn't have these feelings and I feel really guilty, but I just don't know how to get over it

In what way does he use his family as a "perfect" example? You mean like, "When my son Bobby got offered pot at school, he had learned in FHE to say 'No, I don't smoke marijuana' and then walk away"? Or more like, "That has never been a problem in my family"?

In what way does he "kiss up to" your stake president?

Can you describe what kind of "special parties" he has and who the "elite members" are that he parties with?

Flowerchild · #7 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bini

I had a bishop I did not trust, that said, sometimes what is meant as inspiration and motivation, comes across as arrogance. On the note of "elite" ward members.. What qualifies as being an elite? I'm assuming these special parties are private? In which case, the bishop and his family are allowed to attend private parties with select individuals. I'm not entirely sold that such circumstances equate to: we are better than everyone else. Just some thoughts..

It's not that he has dinner parties that we're not invited to ... it's like when we have a social event at church the only people he goes out of his way to talk to are the "elite" like past bishops the stake president and others who tell him how great he is. And when new people move in I hear his wife talk about inviting them over for dinner and it is interesting they only invite the ones over who were a bishop or something in their old ward.

Bini · #8 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flowerchild

It's not that he has dinner parties that we're not invited to ... it's like when we have a social event at church the only people he goes out of his way to talk to are the "elite" like past bishops the stake president and others who tell him how great he is. And when new people move in I hear his wife talk about inviting them over for dinner and it is interesting they only invite the ones over who were a bishop or something in their old ward.

Invite your bishop and his family over to your home for dinner

See what their response is?

Backroads · #9 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flowerchild

It's not that he has dinner parties that we're not invited to ... it's like when we have a social event at church the only people he goes out of his way to talk to are the "elite" like past bishops the stake president and others who tell him how great he is. And when new people move in I hear his wife talk about inviting them over for dinner and it is interesting they only invite the ones over who were a bishop or something in their old ward.

I don't know how rampant this in church culture, but there does seem to be a subset of people who see church callings as celibrity statuses... and your bishop might be in that.

Flowerchild · #10 (**permalink**) 11-19-2012, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vort

In what way does he use his family as a "perfect" example? You mean like, "When my son Bobby got offered pot at school, he had learned in FHE to say 'No, I don't smoke marijuana' and then walk away"? Or more like, "That has never been a problem in my family"?

In what way does he "kiss up to" your stake president?

Can you describe what kind of "special parties" he has and who the "elite members" are that he parties with?

He says stuff like . . "Our family loves each other so much because we never raise our voices" or "Our kids never get behind on homework, because my wife is so organized" "Your family can be at peace too if you have family prayer twice a day like we do" But you know, his kids are in elementary school! When my kids were little and all on the same schedule I thought my life was organized and perfect. But kids grow up and start making their own decisions and come and leave at different times. That makes it hard to keep up with the "checklist" It just seems he doesn't understand how anyone else lives.