Babies! Could It Be Time For Me?

[sibeluver03]

Hello everyone,

I am 20 years old and my wonderful eternal husband is 19. We have been married for 1 year and 3 months. We are both full time college students and will be moving from Oklahoma to Rexburg, Idaho to attend BYU-I in January.

I am looking for advice from anyone who knows anything about starting a family.

For the past 6 or 7 months, both my husband and I have been having strong feelings of love towards any baby or infant child we see. We've always thought babies and children were cute, but never had really discussed having any of our own. But we now both just have this sudden urge to begin our family.

A few personal examples that have happened to me since feeling intense maternal feelings are:

I am on birth control pills. I missed one day by forgetting to take my daily pill. When it came time for my period, I was a day late. Then when I found out I was not pregnant and had gotten my period, I cried in the bathroom. I don't know why I thought missing one day could possibly result in a baby, but I was secretly hoping.

I have had two different dreams. Might I add that in my patriarchal blessing, I was told that I would have sons. So in my dreams, both of them, I saw the same three boys. One was about 7, the other about 3 or 4, and the third was a new baby. In one dream, the two older ones were playing in the bathtub with boats and other toys while I was changing the baby's diaper. In the second dream, I was playing with a baby boy when two older boys came running in from playing outside. Both of these dreams were within the last 6 or 7 months.

This week, I am substituting at a daycare owned by a family I go to Church with. I just help keep the children clean and mostly take care of the younger children that are still in diapers. I now consider myself pretty good at changing diapers and am not afraid of doing something wrong. In just these past couple of days I have spent with these children, I have developed a great love for them and will miss them all very much when it is time for me to go back home to my regular job.

Last week, a girl friend of mine had a baby shower. I had so much fun looking at all her new baby stuff that got me feeling that maternal feeling strong.

I thought when I got back from the baby shower that I was just feeling "baby fever" like every other girl does. If it is "baby fever" I've been feeling it for a very long time.

I am now expecting my period in a couple of weeks with a possible chance of being pregnant again. (I don't mean to forget pills, but when I do I don't freak out about it at all, I just think that if it is finally time, that's that.) I almost dread that week because I'm sure I'll get my period. But right now I'm really hoping this is it and that I won't see my period for another 9 months.

Now comes the reality part. I do know that babies are not all fun and games. They are 24/7 and will be with me for the rest of my life and even eternity. My husband and I are just college students and so therefore certainly do not have the financial stability to support a baby, but we do have a wonderful family who are very supportive of us. We also are not currently insured as far as maternity goes, but plan to be soon, just in case.

Even through all the cons, all I can think about are the pros of having a baby! And all I can think about is remembing an article a couple years ago from I don't know who. I believe it was in the Ensign, though. In that article, it was about a young couple getting advice from their bishop about school and starting a family of their own. The bishop simply told them to not prolong their wait to have children; to have babies now and then. If it was the Lord's will, He would provide a way for them to care for their new child.

I just don't know what to do. Am I being totally ignorant to all the hardwork and financial problems that come with having a new baby?

I really believe that Heavenly Father sent me those dreams. I really believe those were my sons, telling me it was almost time to meet them here on Earth. I just don't know if the Lord is telling me it is time or if I'm just being selfish.

I know and understand this is really a choice between the Lord, my husband, and myself, but if any of you could possibly give me any helpful advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you for any advice and thanks for taking the time to read this really long post!
-Tara-
-Hopeful Future Mom-

[rosie321]

Hello everyone,

I am 20 years old and my wonderful eternal husband is 19. We have been married for 1 year and 3 months. We are both full time college students and will be moving from Oklahoma to Rexburg, Idaho to attend BYU-I in January.

I am looking for advice from anyone who knows anything about starting a family.

For the past 6 or 7 months, both my husband and I have been having strong feelings of love towards any baby or infant child we see. We've always thought babies and children were cute, but never had really discussed having any of our own. But we now both just have this sudden urge to begin our family.

A few personal examples that have happened to me since feeling intense maternal feelings are:

I am on birth control pills. I missed one day by forgetting to take my daily pill. When it came time for my period, I was a day late. Then when I found out I was not pregnant and had gotten my period, I cried in the bathroom. I don't know why I thought missing one day could possibly result in a baby, but I was secretly hoping.

I have had two different dreams. Might I add that in my patriarchal blessing, I was told that I would have sons. So in my dreams, both of them, I saw the same three boys. One was about 7, the other about 3 or 4, and the third was a new baby. In one dream, the two older ones were playing in the bathtub with boats and other toys while I was changing the baby's diaper. In the second dream, I was playing with a baby boy when two older boys came running in from playing outside. Both of these dreams were within the last 6 or 7 months.

This week, I am substituting at a daycare owned by a family I go to Church with. I just help keep the children clean and mostly take care of the younger children that are still in diapers. I now consider myself pretty good at changing diapers and am not afraid of doing something wrong. In just these past couple of days I have spent with these children, I have developed a great love for them and will miss them all very much when it is time for me to go back home to my regular job.

Last week, a girl friend of mine had a baby shower. I had so much fun looking at all her new baby stuff that got me feeling that maternal feeling strong.

I thought when I got back from the baby shower that I was just feeling "baby fever" like every other girl does. If it is "baby fever" I've been feeling it for a very long time.

I am now expecting my period in a couple of weeks with a possible chance of being pregnant again. (I don't mean to forget pills, but when I do I don't freak out about it at all, I just think that if it is finally time, that's that.) I almost dread that week because I'm sure I'll get my period. But right now I'm really hoping this is it and that I won't see my period for another 9 months.

Now comes the reality part. I do know that babies are not all fun and games. They are 24/7 and will be with me for the rest of my life and even eternity. My husband and I are just college students and so therefore certainly do not have the financial stability to support a baby, but we do have a wonderful family who are very supportive of us. We also are not currently insured as far as maternity goes, but plan to be soon, just in case.

Even through all the cons, all I can think about are the pros of having a baby! And all I can think about is remembing an article a couple years ago from I don't know who. I believe it was in the Ensign, though. In that article, it was about a young couple getting advice from their bishop about school and starting a family of their own. The bishop simply told them to not prolong their wait to have children; to have babies now and then. If it was the Lord's will, He would provide a way for them to care for their new child.

I just don't know what to do. Am I being totally ignorant to all the hardwork and financial problems that come with having a new baby?

I really believe that Heavenly Father sent me those dreams. I really believe those were my sons, telling me it was almost time to meet them here on Earth. I just don't know if the Lord is telling me it is time or if I'm just being selfish.

I know and understand this is really a choice between the Lord, my husband, and myself, but if any of you could possibly give me any helpful advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you for any advice and thanks for taking the time to read this really long post!
-Tara-
-Hopeful Future Mom-
[/b]

is there ever a good time to have kids?
You will never have enough time, money or patience

Having them now (or anytime for that matter) will teach you a great deal about faith.

The thing that concerns me right now is that you are not financially stable to support a child, nor do you have medical insurance. You are also counting on your family to kick in. Can you really handle that? Sometimes using family relationships in this way can cause problems.

On the other hand some people try to plan everything just right before having kids. In our economy you could have a job today with benefits and be jobless and penniless tommorow.

One of the blessings of children is that they force you to turn to HF a lot to ask for guidance and help and learn to trust in his provisions.

It sounds like you really want children now and feel as though thats where you are being led so you'll have to ask God. All these little things may be God showing you.

[Elphaba]

Hello everyone,

I am 20 years old and my wonderful eternal husband is 19. We have been married for 1 year and 3 months. We are both full time college students and will be moving from Oklahoma to Rexburg, Idaho to attend BYU-I in January.

I am looking for advice from anyone who knows anything about starting a family.

For the past 6 or 7 months, both my husband and I have been having strong feelings of love towards any baby or infant child we see. We've always thought babies and children were cute, but never had really discussed having any of our own. But we now both just have this sudden urge to begin our family.

A few personal examples that have happened to me since feeling intense maternal feelings are:

I am on birth control pills. I missed one day by forgetting to take my daily pill. When it came time for my period, I was a day late. Then when I found out I was not pregnant and had gotten my period, I cried in the bathroom. I don't know why I thought missing one day could possibly result in a baby, but I was secretly hoping.

I have had two different dreams. Might I add that in my patriarchal blessing, I was told that I would have sons. So in my dreams, both of them, I saw the same three boys. One was about 7, the other about 3 or 4, and the third was a new baby. In one dream, the two older ones were playing in the bathtub with boats and other toys while I was changing the baby's diaper. In the second dream, I was playing with a baby boy when two older boys came running in from playing outside. Both of these dreams were within the last 6 or 7 months.

This week, I am substituting at a daycare owned by a family I go to Church with. I just help keep the children clean and mostly take care of the younger children that are still in diapers. I now consider myself pretty good at changing diapers and am not afraid of doing something wrong. In just these past couple of days I have spent with these children, I have developed a great love for them and will miss them all very much when it is time for me to go back home to my regular job.

Last week, a girl friend of mine had a baby shower. I had so much fun looking at all her new baby stuff that got me feeling that maternal feeling strong.

I thought when I got back from the baby shower that I was just feeling "baby fever" like every other girl does. If it is "baby fever" I've been feeling it for a very long time.

I am now expecting my period in a couple of weeks with a possible chance of being pregnant again. (I don't mean to forget pills, but when I do I don't freak out about it at all, I just think that if it is finally time, that's that.) I almost dread that week because I'm sure I'll get my period. But right now I'm really hoping this is it and that I won't see my period for another 9 months.

Now comes the reality part. I do know that babies are not all fun and games. They are 24/7 and will be with me for the rest of my life and even eternity. My husband and I are just college students and so therefore certainly do not have the financial stability to support a baby, but we do have a wonderful family who are very supportive of us. We also are not currently insured as far as maternity goes, but plan to be soon, just in case.

Even through all the cons, all I can think about are the pros of having a baby! And all I can think about is remembing an article a couple years ago from I don't know who. I believe it was in the Ensign, though. In that article, it was about a young couple getting advice from their bishop about school and starting a family of their own. The bishop simply told them to not prolong their wait to have children; to have babies now and then. If it was the Lord's will, He would provide a way for them to care for their new child.

I just don't know what to do. Am I being totally ignorant to all the hardwork and financial problems that come with having a new baby?

I really believe that Heavenly Father sent me those dreams. I really believe those were my sons, telling me it was almost time to meet them here on Earth. I just don't know if the Lord is telling me it is time or if I'm just being selfish.

I know and understand this is really a choice between the Lord, my husband, and myself, but if any of you could possibly give me any helpful advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you for any advice and thanks for taking the time to read this really long post!
-Tara-
-Hopeful Future Mom-
[/b]

The way you talk about you and your husband wanting your children so what ifyou're young? I can't imagie a luckier child. Yes, there are things that are going to be difficult that we could talk to you about until we're blue in the face, but they wouldn't matter to you, becase you want your baby.

I would advise some parenting classes, only because you are so young and inexperienced. However, you said you wonderful support from our famly, so perhaps even that isn't necessary.

So, go have your baby!

Elphaba

[Jason]

Finish college first. Take it from someone who didn't.

[pam]

In alot of ways I agree with Jason. But only you can make the ultimate decision. As was also mentioned, if you wait until you have enough money to have children you will NEVER have children.

[shanstress70]

Just to throw in another opinion (albeit non-LDS), you were planning to go to college, which means you want a college degree... right? How will you and your husband be able to get your degrees if you have a baby? How will you support your family? Will your husband have to quit college and get a job? I'm assuming you would want to stay home with the baby.

Just think about all this. Yes, it would be awesome to have a baby most of the time... but lets get real... a baby isn't all about a baby in a soft, fluffy pink or blue sleeper cooing happily. It's also about late nights, non-stop crying, arguing over finances (if you're not financially stable), etc.

Even after you think about it, you may decide that having a baby now is worth both of you dropping out of college and pinching pennies. And that's great... just REALLY think about it.

What's wrong with continuing to do what you're doing? It's obvious you like to be around babies, so continue to work in that daycare. Also, do some free babysitting for the people in your church who can't afford a babysitter. I'm sure they'd LOVE to let you share some of their baby's love!

When will you guys be finished with college? 2, 3, 4 years? That's not a long time and you will still be young.

[Brother Dorsey]

Hello everyone,

I am 20 years old and my wonderful eternal husband is 19. We have been married for 1 year and 3 months. We are both full time college students and will be moving from Oklahoma to Rexburg, Idaho to attend BYU-I in January.

I am looking for advice from anyone who knows anything about starting a family.

-Tara-
-Hopeful Future Mom-
[/b]

I have just one suggestion.....take your husband by the hand, kneel on the floor and ask the Lord if having a child is what He would have you do.

On a side note.....my daughter starts at BYU-Idaho this Jan. too!

Have fun!

[shanstress70]

Hi Bro. Dorsey. This is not meant to be an inflammatory post, first off.

Do you think that if someone wants something SO BAD, they hear what they want to hear from God when they pray? This person is already thinking that when she dreams of babies, it is God sending them to her, telling her that it's time to have babies.

I do think she should pray about it. But I'm also cautioning her to really, really listen to how she feels after that prayer.

18 or 19 years old is SUPER young to get married... let alone get married and have babies WHILE TRYING TO GO TO SCHOOL! And yes, I know that some of you have been successful at that very thing, but I think that is rare. Think of how much you've changed since you were 18! I know I have. Financial problems are the #1 reason for divorce, and 50 - 60% of today's marriages will end in divorce.

I don't mean for this post to be all doom and gloom. I just think that there is time for all that stuff in life. Why rush it? What's wrong with enjoying your new marriage and your college experience?

[shanstress70]

Hopefully this won't be a duplicate post. I posted it and it disappeared.

Anyway, I just thought of something else... You said that you and your husband both love babies. But does he know that you are forgetting your birth control pills, and that you're secretly hoping to be pregnant? This is really something that you guys should be communicating about. If he does know, then forgive me for asking... that's great.

[Brother Dorsey]

Hi Bro. Dorsey. This is not meant to be an inflammatory post, first off.

Do you think that if someone wants something SO BAD, they hear what they want to hear from God when they pray? This person is already thinking that when she dreams of babies, it is God sending them to her, telling her that it's time to have babies.

I do think she should pray about it. But I'm also cautioning her to really, really listen to how she feels after that prayer.

[/b]

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints after baptism we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost. As long as the recipient strives to keep the commandments and covenants made at baptism the Holy Ghost will be a constant companion who will always manifest the truth and God's will unto the one who has been given this gift. So, as a member of the church she is entitled to her own personal revelation from God through the Spirit (Holy Ghost). It could possibly be that these dreams and urges she is having are promptings from the Spirit to start her family....that's why I suggested ernest, humble prayer to Father to be assured of His will. Unless you have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost you can not know how strong these promptings can be. However, you do make a good point....sometimes when someone wants something so bad they can talk themselves into that something.....but, it's a lot easier to discern when you have the Spirit with you.