Depression And Faith

[Rebecca2424]

So I have a question, I have have been diagnosed with depression for many, many years and now know why I feel so bad most days (now on some sort of new anti-depression drug and it helps so much) but how does one go about telling friends in church about something like this? I really need to find other members who suffer this, as my member friends seem not to, any ideas?

[Traveler]

So I have a question, I have have been diagnosed with depression for many, many years and now know why I feel so bad most days (now on some sort of new anti-depression drug and it helps so much) but how does one go about telling friends in church about something like this? I really need to find other members who suffer this, as my member friends seem not to, any ideas?
[/b]

We all have trials in life. I would suggest that whenever possible you concentrate on helping someone else with their trials rather than trying to concern them with yours. I have a feeling that because of your experience you could be a great help to many.

The Traveler

[Alaskagain]

I have had a diagnosis of "clinical depression" for many years. It's great that you have found a medication that helps. In some cases, it takes a while to find the right prescription and the right dosage. It took years for me, and now I only take meds over the winter months, when it seems to get worse. (Seasonal Adjustment Disorder or maybe just Post-Christmas let down? )

. . . how does one go about telling friends in church about something like this? I really need to find other members who suffer this, as my member friends seem not to, any ideas? [/b]

It is nothing to be ashamed of; if you want to tell your friends, just tell them - maybe start with your visiting teacher or your closest friend? If you want to form a support group, just let a few people know - it may surprise you who else has the same diagnosis. One day in the church kitchen on activity night, I said, "Oh, I can't forget to stop at the pharmacy on the way home to pick up my prescription of xxxbrand name" and 3 (out of 8) other ladies turned around and said "That works really well."

One of the biggest problems I have is, sometimes I am unhappy about a particular situation, and then I blame it on depression instead of taking care of the problem. When I realize the problem is being compounded because of it, I just slap my forehead and go DUH, and get to work on it.

Another problem is, sometimes medication keeps me from feeling promptings of the HS, and on the other hand, sometimes depression does the same thing. I have to work at being sensitive and receptive.

I also work at being happy, and having positive influences around me, and staying close to the gospel. Compassionate service for others also helps a lot - there is nothing to buoy up my mental state as much as doing something nice or being helpful to another person.

I hope my comments have helped.

Good luck!

[AnthonyB]

Rebecca,

I'm not LDS but my wife suffers from depression. (It runs in her family.)

I think often people in churches (I don't think LDS are unlikely to be different) present their best sides at church and often don't feel comfortable with revealing their flaws. I would be very surprised if you didn't find people who struggle with depression in any group. However depression as a medical condition is often dismissed and people get sick of the pat exhortations "to put on the stiff upper lip" and so tend to hide it.

If you have a trusted leader, go to them and ask if they know someone with a similiar walk (testimony?). Even if there isn't someone that has depression in an ongoing way, maybe you can find someone who has had post natal depression (which is not that uncommon), who would at least know some of what your going through?

God bless.

[a-train]

Say 'Look, guys, I'm depressed. Cheer me up.'

My mom slept through her 30s. I would come home from school in the afternoon and she had not yet left the bed! She had been physically abused as a teen, the Relief Society President in her local ward saved her and took her in. She met a great guy at a Church dance, married him and all was looking good. A few years later some punks robbed and murdered her husband and left her a widow with three kids at age 25. She's been depressed her whole life....

...but not because of those circumstances. Her depression is based on low self-esteem and a sense of failure. It's a nasty cycle. She is depressed so she sleeps her life away. Then she wakes up and realizes she is wasting her life, that's depressing so she goes back to sleep. Happiness is always around the corner. The new job, the new car, the new relationship. It never gets any better. Why?

'Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.' (Matt. 6:34) She is NOT living today, but she only wants to get away from yesterday and hopes tomorrow will be better. With this distraction, she never makes today any good. So the past is always bad and the future is worrisome.

I'd like to say: 'Snap out of it!', 'Cheer up!' But she can't. The branches in her mind upon which rests her depression have not been pruned and the branches of happiness have not been nurtured. It takes time for this organism to grow properly. I used to be heading down that path until I realized this. I did so by reading the scriptures. Do I feel the Spirit of the LORD right now? Am I doing His will and making progress? If not, I am not nurturing happiness nor pruning out sorrow. It can be hard work, but neglecting it will ruin me.

Another issue here is defensiveness. If I said: 'Mom, you are depressed because you aren't living happily.' She would take offense. She would defend herself. She would say: 'This isn't my fault.' The trouble is, no one cares whose fault it is and no one is asking. If a doctor says: 'You are going to have to drink more water every day.' Answering 'I have never neglected drinking water!' would not satisfy the doctor or the problem. No one is mad at you, no one is accusing you. You just need more water.

This is how Satan gets us. He makes us defensive. He makes us resist the gifts of God so we shrivel like an unwatered branch. Christ is the life! He said: 'whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.' (John 4:14)

Satan wants us to feel useless and to fear the reproval of the LORD. He wants us to never obtain the good fruit of happiness in the gifts of God. But 'despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.' (Heb 12:5-11)

-a-train

[Elphaba]

Another issue here is defensiveness. If I said: 'Mom, you are depressed because you aren't living happily.' She would take offense. She would defend herself. She would say: 'This isn't my fault.' The trouble is, no one cares whose fault it is and no one is asking.[/b]

Yes, you do fault her when you her tell the problem is "you aren't living happily."

Based on your description, your mother is acutely depressed. That must be a horrible thing for you to have to live with, especially when it goes on and on and on. And I have no doubt you're trying to help her when you tell her "you aren't living happily," but maybe you don't realize you could be adding to her sense of isolation rather than helping her.

She needs to be seen by a good psychiatrist on a regular basis. For all I know you and your mother have already tried that; if so, you need to try again and again and again until you finally find someone who can help her. Unfortunately, this is what it takes for many people, myself included to find someone who finally has the right answers.

I'm sure this has been extremely painful for you, and you have done the best you can by your mother. The fact that you were able to see depression coming at you and you took control of it before it did is truly impressive. Obviously you've succeeded in your life where others haven't, and you've done so on your own with your faith and belief in your Heavenly Father. I do not dismiss that at all.

I would just ask that you understand not everyone can do what you've been able to do. If your mom could have, she would have by now. I assure you, based on your description, her kind of depression is not alleviated by "living happily," and no, with this kind of depression, it's not her fault.

But that does not mean it's impossible. When I was scraping the bottom, I also had people telling me things like "You need to find your passion, etc. They just didn't understand how debilitating acute depression is and how their comments seemed, to me, as if they came from another world. I really couldn't comprehend what they were saying. But when I finally got the help I needed, I once more entered the real world and could finally understand what they meant by "finding your passion."

I'm sure you've tried very hard and I'm being presumptuous. I just know that when I was in an acute deprssion, and could not get out of bed and slept 24 hours a day because of it, I could not understand what people would say to me. I was also defensive because people would tell me what I needed to do, and I knew there was absolutely no way I could do what the told me, yet they would never believe me.

I suspect it's the same with your mother, based on what you've said here. And unless she gets professional, medical help to get her out of the grips of the acute depression, she might not ever be able to really hear you. It's a symptom of the disease of depression.

I wish you good luck with your mother.

Elphaba

[Gabelma]

I have/had Post Natel Depression following the birth of my son it can be debilitating. Any illness can become a blessing but it takes time to learn to live with it, don't expect too much from yourself. Do what you can when you can.

My husband has serious debilitating depressive episodes, we have found that increasing his exercise levels. keeping his mind active (online chess, crosswords etc), getting out in the fresh air for at least 15 minutes a day and increasing the amount of fruit and veg keep him on a level. We also did an elimination diet and discovered beef and chicken trigger it so we have one meat meal a week, rest of time we do veggie.

-Charley

[Maureen]

So I have a question, I have have been diagnosed with depression for many, many years and now know why I feel so bad most days (now on some sort of new anti-depression drug and it helps so much) but how does one go about telling friends in church about something like this? I really need to find other members who suffer this, as my member friends seem not to, any ideas?
[/b]

If you have not told your friends yet, there's a good chance they have not told you their situation either. If you reveal your health problems, you probably will produce confessions from others as well. People assume they suffer and no one else does, and we don't want to admit it. Mention to one friend your health situation and see what happens, you might be surprised.

M.

[Doctor Steuss]

So I have a question, I have have been diagnosed with depression for many, many years and now know why I feel so bad most days (now on some sort of new anti-depression drug and it helps so much) but how does one go about telling friends in church about something like this? I really need to find other members who suffer this, as my member friends seem not to, any ideas?
[/b]

I am bipolar type II and also have mild schizophrenia. All of my friends and family know because they are my safety line. Your friends are going to be your safety line, and as such, it is beneficial if they know.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Tell them the same way you would tell them about any other health problem.

You could even give them a copy of this to help "break the ice."

[tiancum]

I was diagnosed with depression a year and a half ago.

Since I was diagnosed, it has been the happiest I have ever been. I still have my down times, but i see them as beautiful now too.


There is hope. It was my faith that lead me to be diagnosed. It was very difficult for me to even go to the Doctor that day, and be labeled. It took ALL my faith and the faith of my wife and kids, and mom and sister.

It is my faith, and gratitude towards Christ that keeps me taking that little pill every day. I am so thankful He provided us with not jsut one, but MANY ways out, through His atonement.