Paying Tithing As A Married Couple

[Daisy99]

I am struggling in my mind over this and am glad I found a place to anonymously ask this question. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. I was raised to pay tithing as soon as you receive income and that is how I always paid it. When we got married, my husband already had a full time job and he paid tithing all at once at the end of the year at tithing settlement. That check always came from savings. That seemed odd (just different) to me, but I asked the Bishop about it and he said some people do it that way and it's fine. Well, my husband has been ill and unemployed for a period of time, and he is just starting to work again but it's only part time. We are struggling greatly financially right now. I am the one who does all the finances in our family (we have three children). I am extremely concerned that we are not going to have any money to pay tithing at the end of the year. I believe very strongly in paying tithing and I have faith that we can overcome some of our financial struggles by paying it. I have a part time job right now and I feel like I should be paying tithing each month when I receive a paycheck. We really can't afford that but I believe it is the right thing to do. My husband says to wait and we can work it all out at the end of the year. But I really just don't see us having enough at the end of the year.

My questions are this:

Should I just pay tithing for myself on the income I make and let my husband worry about his income?

Should I start paying tithing on my husband's income as he gets his checks (it would be easy to do since i handle the finances....but he may not be happy with me).

Should I honor my husband--who is a very good man and quite stressed out about finances right now--and just wait until the end of the year and see where we are at as he wants?

If we do not have enough money at the end of the year to make a full tithe, will that mean that I am not a full-tithe payer and therefore unworthy to enter the temple?

I am very committed to my husband and to our temple covenants. We have a very peaceful and happy marriage. With income brought in by the husband, is the wife accountable if tithing is not paid on it? I do not want to be accountable, but at the same time, I do not want to cause more conflict with my husband on this subject. We've already discussed it, but I am still uneasy about it

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Jbs2763]

i was always taught you pay tithing first, off your gross

[onyx]

Hi Daisy,

I feel for the quandry that you are in.
I hope you can find the answers that bring you peace.

To be honest I have always been taught to pay tithing first, before any other thing.
The tithing should be paid on the gross amount.

I did a quick search on the lds.org site using the words "pay tithing first."
I found lots and lots of conference talks etc., that counsel us to pay our tithing first and not leave it til last.
The main reason this is taught is because paying the Lord first ensures his help and blessings in being able to budget the rest of our money successfully.

Rather than give you a massive list of hyperlinks I recommend doing the search yourself.
It won't take you long...there is even a simple FHE lesson on the subject which also emphasises paying tithing first.

Hope this helps......Onyx

[Brother Dorsey]

My questions are this:

Should I just pay tithing for myself on the income I make and let my husband worry about his income?

Should I start paying tithing on my husband's income as he gets his checks (it would be easy to do since i handle the finances....but he may not be happy with me).

Should I honor my husband--who is a very good man and quite stressed out about finances right now--and just wait until the end of the year and see where we are at as he wants?

If we do not have enough money at the end of the year to make a full tithe, will that mean that I am not a full-tithe payer and therefore unworthy to enter the temple?

I am very committed to my husband and to our temple covenants. We have a very peaceful and happy marriage. With income brought in by the husband, is the wife accountable if tithing is not paid on it? I do not want to be accountable, but at the same time, I do not want to cause more conflict with my husband on this subject. We've already discussed it, but I am still uneasy about it

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
[/b]

Hi, my advice would be for you to talk with your husband about your concerns. You both should be on the same page regarding tithing. If for some reason he says he dosen't care as long as it gets paid then you take the reins and pay it as you wish.

In my family we pay tithing every week....it easier to just give the Bishiopric an envelope as we enter the chapel. It just feels good to know we are current. Besides, having the Lord's money in a savings account is too tempting around Christmas time or if we found ourselves coming up short and "borrow" from the account. Not good. We just find it's more edifying to pay it as soon as it's earned.

Good luck!

[Old Tex]

I am struggling in my mind over this and am glad I found a place to anonymously ask this question. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. I was raised to pay tithing as soon as you receive income and that is how I always paid it. [/b]

Daisy,



Like other things, one person is not responsible for another's action, or lack of action. You have your own income and your husband has his. You are responsible for tithing on yours only. If you wish, you can have the Ward Clerk to set you and your husband up seperately in the computer so you get a seperate your print out for tithing settlement and he get his for his tithing.



If there is only one income in a family, tithing is usually put in the names of both husband and wife, but if both have income there is no reason for doing it that way except that's the way they want to do it. I was Ward Clerk in our Ward for over ten years and we had several married couples with seperate incomes who decided to it that way.



They would both come in on the same appointment at tithing settlement, but the Bishop would handle them as individuals with their own paperwork.

[john doe]

I think you should bring your concerns to your bishop, he can counsel you for your situation. There is no directive from the church as to how or when to pay tithing. Paying as you go or at the end of the year really does not matter as long as you pay it. Some people choose to pay on their gross income, some people pay on their net income, some people figure our their net worth increase from the year before and pay on that. As long as you know in your heart that the way you have chosen to do it is right for you, and you feel you can look God in the eye and say you paid an honest tithe, then you are okay. Many people, including farmers and self-employed people find it easier to figure their tithe at the end of the year rather than on a monthly or weekly basis. Putting money aside monthly in a savings account to pay at the end of the year is completely fine as far as I know.

The only directive I am aware of is that the instructions say you need to pay a tithe on your increase. How you figure it is up to you, and if you aren't sure how to figure it, a conversation with your bishop about your situation will no doubt help.

[boyando]

I think you should bring your concerns to your bishop, he can counsel you for your situation. There is no directive from the church as to how or when to pay tithing. Paying as you go or at the end of the year really does not matter as long as you pay it. Some people choose to pay on their gross income, some people pay on their net income, some people figure our their net worth increase from the year before and pay on that. As long as you know in your heart that the way you have chosen to do it is right for you, and you feel you can look God in the eye and say you paid an honest tithe, then you are okay. Many people, including farmers and self-employed people find it easier to figure their tithe at the end of the year rather than on a monthly or weekly basis. Putting money aside monthly in a savings account to pay at the end of the year is completely fine as far as I know.

The only directive I am aware of is that the instructions say you need to pay a tithe on your increase. How you figure it is up to you, and if you aren't sure how to figure it, a conversation with your bishop about your situation will no doubt help.
[/b]

John;
I would just add, that this is a conversation, that needs to happen, between the Daisy, her husband and the Bishop. Leaving her husband out, may make the Bishop feel out of place, ie the father is no longer leader of his home.

Daisy;
John has some good advice, as do many others here. But answers are not advice, and you need answers. So choose from what you have read, the advice that fits your situation, and humbly take it to the Lord, in prayer, and everything will turn out, just fine.

[Alaskagain]

There's nothing said so far that I don't agree with.

Since you as a couple have paid tithing at the end of the year in the past, I can understand that your husband wants to continue doing the same thing this year. If your savings account is dwindling because of financial woes this year, I can understand your concern.

A suggestion: Resolve together to not withdraw any more money from savings for the rest of the year (of which, there's not much left!), and from this point forward, deposit what would be your tithing from each of your paychecks into the savings account, specifically dedicating that money for that purpose. It shouldn't take any more discipline and sacrifice not to touch the savings, than it would to pay it direct to the bishop every week.

[Moksha]

I have read this same question on other forums. Generally the best answer is that the believing spouse should just worry about paying on their own income. That way you are giving what have been requested of you and you are not setting yourself and your tithing to the Church up as the source of marital friction.

[john doe]

<div class='quotemain'>
I think you should bring your concerns to your bishop, he can counsel you for your situation. There is no directive from the church as to how or when to pay tithing. Paying as you go or at the end of the year really does not matter as long as you pay it. Some people choose to pay on their gross income, some people pay on their net income, some people figure our their net worth increase from the year before and pay on that. As long as you know in your heart that the way you have chosen to do it is right for you, and you feel you can look God in the eye and say you paid an honest tithe, then you are okay. Many people, including farmers and self-employed people find it easier to figure their tithe at the end of the year rather than on a monthly or weekly basis. Putting money aside monthly in a savings account to pay at the end of the year is completely fine as far as I know.

The only directive I am aware of is that the instructions say you need to pay a tithe on your increase. How you figure it is up to you, and if you aren't sure how to figure it, a conversation with your bishop about your situation will no doubt help.
[/b]

John;
I would just add, that this is a conversation, that needs to happen, between the Daisy, her husband and the Bishop. Leaving her husband out, may make the Bishop feel out of place, ie the father is no longer leader of his home.

Daisy;
John has some good advice, as do many others here. But answers are not advice, and you need answers. So choose from what you have read, the advice that fits your situation, and humbly take it to the Lord, in prayer, and everything will turn out, just fine.
[/b][/quote]

Of course, you are right, the husband should be a part of any discussions about tithing. After all, he is still a party to the discussion.