Suicide

[Lonasunde]

Recently one of my friend's dad committed suicide. He shot himself in the chest. It was very sudden, and I'm not sure on all the details. I only met Mitch's dad once. He always seemed like a happy person though..
Anyway, I'm really worried about Mitch. He used to go to sunday school, and he was in my seminary class in 9th, so I know he was taught about the Plan of Happiness. I hope he remembers Enough though. I just really hope that he'll turn to the Lord for help, and not anywhere else.
How can I help him remember what he was taught, and not have him push me away entirely?

[Doctor Steuss]

The loss of someone by them taking their own life brings about a form of grief that few other deaths can bring. There is usually a sense of “what could I have done?,’ etc.

Right now, I’m not sure helping him to “remember what he was taught” is the best course of action. Right now is probably survival time for your friend. Right now your friend probably just needs to know that they aren’t alone, and that people aren’t judging him/her for the way his/her father passed away.

A resource that may help your friend and his/her family cope with the tragedy as the holiday season approaches might be the AFSP. Every year they have a conference for “survivors of suicide” (a term that your friend and his/her family will probably become very familiar with, if they aren’t already).

Their website = Here.
Info on the National Survivors of Suicide Day = Here.

[the_jason]

The best thing you can do is to help him on his terms. If he doesn't want to talk, don't push him to talk. If he doesn't want to attend seminary, don't push him to go to seminary. He hasn't forgotten about the plan of salvation. He's dealing with the loss of a parent, and to him that's the most important thing right now. Be a friend, support him, help him heal, but do it in his time.

[prisonchaplain]

Kudos to what everyone has said. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just be there. We're not comfortable with silence, but there is something sacred about sharing space with another's pain. Handled with care and respect, your gift of being without intruding, could truly be heaven-sent.

[the_jason]

Amen, PC. (Did I just give PC props?)

[Lonasunde]

I saw him today. He just looks ...dead. Like the shell of him is here, but not him. I know I probably should wait for a while, but seeing him like this cuts really deep.

[Moksha]

I saw him today. He just looks ...dead. Like the shell of him is here, but not him. I know I probably should wait for a while, but seeing him like this cuts really deep.
[/b]

Your friendship will be especially helpful to him later on. If I were in his shoes, I would feel reassured knowing my friends cared about me.

[rosie321]

<div class='quotemain'>
I saw him today. He just looks ...dead. Like the shell of him is here, but not him. I know I probably should wait for a while, but seeing him like this cuts really deep.
[/b]

Your friendship will be especially helpful to him later on. If I were in his shoes, I would feel reassured knowing my friends cared about me.
[/b][/quote]
As others have said so wonderfully be there for your friend. In the silent moments as you are there with him and don't know what to say pray silently. Your support will mean a lot.


Please careful of "pushing" gospel principles onto your friend. Or in the hopes of trying to help and protect him become too overbearing. It could have the counter effect and create more despair for him. His pain is very real. Pushing him faster than your friend has strength might push him to quit because he feels he doesn't have the fortitude of strength or becomes disallusioned and angry with God.

Few understand why a person would commit suicide. For most in religious circles suicide is considered wrong or evil act (for good reasons like valuing the gift of life that God gave us and not encouraging others to do the same). But his families pain is intense. The son may even be questioning his fathers eternal state. Please continue to be there for your friend and "mourn with those that mourn." Protect him from those who'd want to throw upon your friend condemnation and more pain.

There are people I am aware of that will pretty much shun those whose members have committed suicide. I hope this is not the case here.
I don't know the kind of person your friends dad was the Lord does and will take into account this mans life, illnesses etc that would make him to such a thing. He will also righteously judge those who do not watch out for this family and mourn with those that mourn.

It pains me to hear stories like this. When I suffered the sudden loss of my non member parent, the pain was excruciating. After the death and funeral were done my heart was broken. It was like I was in another world for days. The pain cut very deep. Even though I am LDS & have the extra belief of baptisms for the dead, this belief could not erase the pain. With the added measure of pain that suicide brings I can only begin to imagine the grief your friend must be going through

My prayers go out to your friend and family.


Lona-it sounds like you're on the right path

[onyx]

Recently one of my friend's dad committed suicide. He shot himself in the chest. It was very sudden, and I'm not sure on all the details. I only met Mitch's dad once. He always seemed like a happy person though..
Anyway, I'm really worried about Mitch. He used to go to sunday school, and he was in my seminary class in 9th, so I know he was taught about the Plan of Happiness. I hope he remembers Enough though. I just really hope that he'll turn to the Lord for help, and not anywhere else.
How can I help him remember what he was taught, and not have him push me away entirely?
[/b]

Hi Lona,

I have two friends who took their own lives.
It is very difficult to come to terms with for the family and loved ones.
The circumstances of the death make it so much harder.

It is wonderful that you want to help your friend.
There are a couple of links in lds.org that address suicide and how to assist those left behind.
They may be useful and helpful to you in comforting your friend from a gospel point of view:

http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem..._&hideNav=1

http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem..._&hideNav=1

I hope your friend has lots of people in his life like you who care about him

Onyx

[rosie321]

Thanks Onyx! Great links!

<div class='quotemain'>
Recently one of my friend's dad committed suicide. He shot himself in the chest. It was very sudden, and I'm not sure on all the details. I only met Mitch's dad once. He always seemed like a happy person though..
Anyway, I'm really worried about Mitch. He used to go to sunday school, and he was in my seminary class in 9th, so I know he was taught about the Plan of Happiness. I hope he remembers Enough though. I just really hope that he'll turn to the Lord for help, and not anywhere else.
How can I help him remember what he was taught, and not have him push me away entirely?
[/b]

Hi Lona,

I have two friends who took their own lives.
It is very difficult to come to terms with for the family and loved ones.
The circumstances of the death make it so much harder.

It is wonderful that you want to help your friend.
There are a couple of links in lds.org that address suicide and how to assist those left behind.
They may be useful and helpful to you in comforting your friend from a gospel point of view:

http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem..._&hideNav=1

http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem..._&hideNav=1

I hope your friend has lots of people in his life like you who care about him

Onyx
[/b][/quote]