What Can I Do To Be Accepted

[Davidjr]

I have a question. I am a 27 year old male, I come from a very strong religious family, LDS on my Fathers side and Catholic on my Mothers side. Anyhow, to the point. I am seeing a girl who I love very much and plan to mary. Her family is LDS and her father is a prominent member of the church. Through out my life I havent always made the right choices but i learn from my mistakes and keep striving to make the right choices and be a better man. No matter what I do I cant seem to gain the approval of her father. I am trying so hard to be a good man for myself and those around me. It is very hard for me to talk about this. I always thought he and I were friends and honest with one another, but he expresses his discontent with me behind my back. I guess my question is what am I doing wrong. I know I as a person cant please everyone. Though from a man I look up to those words cut me like a knife. I dont know how I should feel at this point, sadness and anger are the main feelings i am expieriencing. If anyone has any advice for me I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for your time.

[prisonchaplain]

If I'm reading this right, the father's main concern is that you are not a practicing, reliable LDS member. The father, you've said is. What of the girl? Is this the crux of the problem?

[Davidjr]

If I'm reading this right, the father's main concern is that you are not a practicing, reliable LDS member. The father, you've said is. What of the girl? Is this the crux of the problem?
[/b]

She is non practicing at this time or not as much as she should. Yes, I believe my not being in the church is a big part of it. On the other hand my job, home, motivation are not good enough either. His exact words of my accomplishment ares "I'm not impressed".

[rosie321]

<div class='quotemain'>
If I'm reading this right, the father's main concern is that you are not a practicing, reliable LDS member. The father, you've said is. What of the girl? Is this the crux of the problem?
[/b]

She is non practicing at this time or not as much as she should. Yes, I believe my not being in the church is a big part of it. On the other hand my job, home, motivation are not good enough either. His exact words of my accomplishment ares "I'm not impressed".
[/b][/quote]
It seems to me, from the outside looking in, is that you are not as prisonchaplain pointed out a practicing, reliable member of the church.

Being her father is so active in the church and holds its teachings to be true, he will not easily give up his daughter to someone who does not hold the same eternal values and principles dear. He wants the best for his daughter. In his eternal view your actions will not bring either of you happiness since you are not doing things in the right way.

He will probably have a hard time trusting an instant conversion back to the faith too. If you do suddenly become active again he will want to test you until you can prove you won't cause harm to his daughter temporally or eternally.

IMO her father is doing the job of a responsible dad

[the_jason]

The only approval you need to gain is your fiance's and your Heavenly Father's. Her father may be a strong prominent member, but even strong prominent members have faults. His disapproval does not mean your Heavenly Father disapproves. As long as you strive to do your best, to provide for your wife, to love her, and to support her, that's what what matters. Don't seek to gain the father's approval, but the Father's approval.

[rosie321]

The only approval you need to gain is your fiance's and your Heavenly Father's. Her father may be a strong prominent member, but even strong prominent members have faults. His disapproval does not mean your Heavenly Father disapproves. As long as you strive to do your best, to provide for your wife, to love her, and to support her, that's what what matters. Don't seek to gain the father's approval, but the Father's approval.
[/b]

I agree with your statement that the only approval you need to gain is your Heavenly Father's and fiance but urge caution at the same time. God does place people, particularly parents in our paths, who have hopefully had more life experience and wisdom so that they may help guide and direct. The parents concerns should be thoughtfully and prayerfully considered when making the decision too. If after considering their thoughts you decide to go your own way that's another matter.

Like it or not when you marry the family does have a big impact. So its best to live as peaceably as possible and consider the longterm influence they might have on your future relationship.

[prisonchaplain]

The only approval you need to gain is your fiance's and your Heavenly Father's. Her father may be a strong prominent member, but even strong prominent members have faults. His disapproval does not mean your Heavenly Father disapproves. As long as you strive to do your best, to provide for your wife, to love her, and to support her, that's what what matters. Don't seek to gain the father's approval, but the Father's approval.
[/b]

IMHO, Heavenly Father expects us to seek earthly father's approval.

[Gillebre]

What if an earthly father disapproves of his children becoming members of the Church?

The father won't give his blessing, but certainly the Father will.

[prisonchaplain]

What if an earthly father disapproves of his children becoming members of the Church?

The father won't give his blessing, but certainly the Father will.
[/b]

Gill, this is an entirely different circumstance. God does come first. On the other hand, even in such a case, every possible effort should be made to respect the earthly father. As an example, my parents had me baptised as infant. I waited until I was 16 to be baptised by immersion as a believer. My father said he was proud of me. Would he have thought so if I had done so against his wishes at 8-10 years old?

Eventually, I would have been baptised without his approval, but it was a worthy effort to honor his role as father, even if I disagreed with his religious practice.

[miztrniceguy]

i didnt see where he actually said he was a member himself...said father was lds, mother catholic...didnt say for himself.