Bizarre Question

[allshookup]

I have a question. What is the church view on gender recognition? I have a friend who found out she was born with a rare genetic disorder that means technically she is neither male or female. She looks female from the outside but her reproductive organs never developed internally. She only found out after she failed to get pregnant after her marriage and went for tests. She is devastated and feels totally ashamed. She has only told me, not even her husband knows the truth. She now says she no longer believes in the church because it teaches that God created male and female alike and she is technically neither. Her parents knew about this and hid it from her her whole life. Her mom died years ago but after she found out about the condition, she confronted her dad who said when she was born, the hospital did not know much about the condition and told them she was neither male or female and they could choose what to raise her as. As she looked female, they recommended she be raised as a daughter. I do not know what to say to comfort her. She is my friend and in every possible way except her genes, is a female but she says she now feels like a freak. She is too ashamed to tell anyone and says she wants to leave her husband and the church.

[ztodd]

That is truly a sad story. The thing that's messed up is that people would be so cruel as to tell her she's nether male nor female. She's obviously female. Just because all her internal organs didn't fully develop doesn't take away from her female-ness (don't know the right word ) Don't go by what some know-it-all doctor says.

[Connolly]

Tell your friend to get professional help, hopefully from an LDS professional who can help her also with the spiritual aspects of her challenging journey. No one on this board is in any position to offer any advice on a topic like this except to seek professional counseling - even those who may be trained wouldn't because this subject cannot be dealt with adequately based on a few posts. Chances are, her ecclesiastical leaders are also not equipped to help her.

[Elgama]

she is not alone - with any condition she is going to go through a process of grief and loss, she also has to deal with betrayal - however she is not alone and Idoubt she is the only LDS, trouble is looking up hermaphrodite online can lead to some funny sites. I remember a magazine article I will see if I can find it online

[Elgama]

Intersex Society of North America | A world free of shame, secrecy, and unwanted genital surgery may know of other LDS or at least let your friend know she is no more weird, freaky or bizarre than the rest of us.

Anyone can help your friend feel better about herself, love her for who she is and encourage her to tell her husband that way she can find out if he is someone who will support her or not.

-Charley

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

Originally Posted by allshookup

What is the church view on gender recognition? I have a friend who found out she was born with a rare genetic disorder that means technically she is neither male or female. She looks female from the outside but her reproductive organs never developed internally.

Our view of gender recognition is that we existed in the preexistence as male and female.

From "The Family: A Proclamation to the World":

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

There is more to being male or female than having a fully developed set of reproductive organs. Because we were male and female before we ever got bodies.

Now, our bodies are not perfect. They can have problems, defects, stuff that doesn't grow right or wears out or gets in an accident or what have you. Back in the good ol' days of the Sumerian and Bizantine empires, they'd castrate boys at a young age to make them into Eunichs. They had phisical differences, but they were still male.

It's understandable that your friend is frustrated and maybe angry. Here's the rest of the world, off living their obvious male and female lives, and what about her? Well, she just started what may be a rather difficult and rough journey. Hopefully, she'll end up at a place where she can accept her new understanding without grief or pain. Maybe a starting point is to stop caring about what the church teaches, and think a while about how God made her, and what God wants from her? Prayer might be good. LDS Social Services can help her, if she's in an area that offers it. I wish her good luck - she's probably in for some bumps in her journey.

LM

[pushka]

I think I saw, in a recent documentary about hermaphrodites, that the chromosomes can now be checked, and so can prove whether the child was supposed to be male or female..this may provide some comfort for your friend, as she could, perhaps forgive her parents for their lack of knowledge on the subject when she was born..

I hope that she can, one day, confide in her husband, and that he can be accepting of her condition..

[Gwen]

i think i saw that same documentary pushka or one similar. that is what i was wondering, if she could find a dr to check her hormones and find out for sure.

i would hope parents would consult the lord in such situations and not just what the dr thinks, i have a hard time thinking a parent couldn't ask the lord what gender their child was, name and blessing, and patriarchal blessing are just two significant ones i can think of that an answer may come, not to rule out just normal prayer and fasting.

as far as what i know of what the church thinks of gender surgery..... i think if it's to reconstruct what should be there (due to injury, genetic issues, etc) there is no issue with it. it's when someone has no question about gender at bith or other reason than just wanting to change that there are issues. definately something to take to the lord. definately not her fault nor has she done anything wrong. i can't imagine the struggle that would be.

[GoingThruTheMotions]

A chromosome test would tell if the person is really male or female. It is highly unlikely they didn't do a chromosome test at birth.

[pushka]

Originally Posted by GoingThruTheMotions

A chromosome test would tell if the person is really male or female. It is highly unlikely they didn't do a chromosome test at birth.

It is possible that they didn't do the test, depending on how old that person now is..many years ago certain tests were not available.