Law of Chastity

IntoGod33 · #1 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 09:42 AM

My boyfriend and I made a horrible mistake. I don't think I have to elaborate due to my title. I am a new member, but he has already been through the temple. I am going to talk to my bishop tonight, and my boyfriend is going to go this week. We know that we have to confess, and my boyfriend is really scared. I am new at all of this, but I do know that what i did was wrong. I know that I cannot begin to repent until I confess my sins, but I am so scared as to what the bishop is going to say. Please....can you all give me an idea of what this is going to be like. I am sooo nervous and anxious. Thank you.

a-train · #2 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 10:16 AM

Really scared of what????

Here is the deal: You two have done something that causes pain and anguish and going to the Bishop and repenting is the only thing that will make you feel better.

You are worried about your standing with the LORD. Imagine for a moment that your boyfriend is disfellowshipped or even excommunicated for all of this. Is that something you two can't endure? Is that worse than what is going on right now? If you would rather conceal what happened so he can dishonestly take the sacrament every week in an effort to outwardly display worthiness, you are only prolonging your situation and making the situation worse.

I promise, that no matter what happens in that meeting with the Bishop, if you offer your transgressions as you should, the weight of those transgressions will be lifted from you. Church discipline is a much lighter burden than the weight of sin.

Be of good cheer.

-a-train

the_jason · #3 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 10:44 AM

Talking to your bishop is scary at first, but it's necessary to receive forgiveness. Telling your bishop you did something wrong is not like being disciplined by your parents. Bishops do not punish. They do not judge unrighteously. They do not think less of you as a person. A meeting with your bishop is an experience of love. He wants you to be well and to put this transgression behind you. He will help you in every way that he can. Half the battle is the initial confession. You will feel so much better and will feel confident in being able to fully repent. Say a prayer before you speak to your bishop. I gaurantee you will be glad you talked to him.

Loudmouth_Mormon · #4 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntoGod33

I know that I cannot begin to repent until I confess my sins, but I am so scared as to what the bishop is going to say.

Confessing is an important step, and a way to compelte the repentance process. Here are the steps - sounds to me like you've got a good start on them:

1. Recognize Our Sins
2. Feel Sorrow for Our Sins
3. Forsake Our Sins
4. Confess Our Sins
5. Make Restitution
6. Forgive Others
7. Keep the Commandments of God

The Bishop's sole job here is to help you remove the burden of sin from your soul - to help you place checkboxes next to everything on that list. He is your earthly representative of Jesus Christ. The scriptures tell us that Christ never yelled at repentant sinners - he helped them and loved them. You can expect the same treatment from your Bishop if you are humble and repentant.

Expect to make good use of his box of kleenex. (I sure did when I sat in "the hot seat".)

This process can be one of the most freeing, spiritual, maturing times of your life.

LM

WillowTheWhisp · #5 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 11:06 AM

It sounds like you are well on the road already. Remember how Jesus spoke to the woman accused of adultery. He did not condone the sin but he loved and encouraged the sinner to sin no more.

IntoGod33 · #6 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 11:30 AM

Honestly, I'm not scared, just ashamed. I am more worried about what is going to happen to my boyfriend. He just returned from his mission last May, and I'm always hearing about what an awesome missionary he was. I feel like I have been his stumbling block. He tells me that it is his fault because he has been a member for quite some time, and he was a missionary who used to go out and tell people to not do the things that he has turned around and done. He feels like a hypocrite. So do I....this happened only a few weeks after my baptism. You know what amazes me....that first week after my baptism I was feeling amazing. I was full of the spirit, I was already starting to see and feel so many blessings, and then this happened. I literally felt the spirit leave me. It amazes me how different I feel now. All that motivation, happiness, and strength gone...I feel lost. I feel like my weakness hurt someone else much more than I can understand. If I could've just been strong, and practiced what I preached....

IntoGod33 · #7 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 11:32 AM

By the way....thank you all for your support and encouragement. That's why I love this church.

the_jason · #8 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 11:42 AM

You are both equally to blame for the transgression, not just you. Being endowed and a return missionary, he should have had more self-control. He had his agency. You did not force him to do anything. His discipline will likely be more severe than yours, but if he's truly sorry then he needs to accept whatever might come about, even if it costs him his membership. Church discipline is not punishment. It is done out of love for the individual and is necessary for repentance. Don't in any way blame yourself for his actions. He chose willingly.

Shell72 · #9 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 01:21 PM

IntoGod, God is a loving and forgiving God and it is your relationship with Him that matters most. If you confess and ask for forgiveness know in your heart that God has forgiven you, loves you, and this is what salvation is all about. Please don't dwell on your mistakes - we all make them, and the true test of Faith is how we handle them.

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace"
Ephesians 1*7

nytesong · #10 (**permalink**) 01-23-2008, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_jason

His discipline will likely be more severe than yours, but if he's truly sorry then he needs to accept whatever might come about, even if it costs him his membership. Church discipline is not punishment. It is done out of love for the individual and is necessary for repentance. Don't in any way blame yourself for his actions. He chose willingly.

would someone be kicked out for making a mistake and repenting it? this is the first i've heard of 'discipline' in the LDS church for sinning. I'm not a practicing Catholic, but I attended a Catholic elementary school and one had penance, usually in the form of prayers (and hopefully soul searching!) but never 'discipline'

Could someone explain a bit more about LDS discipline?