Shouting: The New Spanking

[Just_A_Guy]

Says (well, hints) the New York Times.

I'm currently defending a gentleman in a case where his ex got a restraining order against him basically because the two have different outlooks on child discipline, so this caught my attention.

[sixpacktr]

What's next? Dirty or disapproving looks? Sending to their room without *gasp* supper? Not buying them a new car when they turn 16?

Kids drive you nuts from time to time, even the best of them. I had great kids, never did anything major that kept us up worrying where they were or what they were doing. But guess what? Sometimes I'd really let them have it when they were disrespectful to their mother, or didn't do something I'd asked, or smarted off to me, etc. Sometimes I'd overreacted, in which case I went up and apologized, and other times I didn't.

The young parents of today seem to think that parenting can be found in a book. What bull crap! All the book does is make the author rich. Parenting is being with your kids, doing things with them, and yes, occasionally getting mad at them and yelling or spanking. Doesn't hurt their precious little psyches.

We are raising a generation of wussies...Sure hope that when we go to war with the Ruskies or ChiComs they are 'nice' to them so that they don't hurt their feelings...

[hordak]

As parents understand that it’s not socially acceptable to spank children, they are at a loss for what they can do. They resort to reminding, nagging, timeout, counting 1-2-3 and quickly realize that those strategies don’t work to change behavior.

Think it's time to go back to spanking.

[will227457]

+1 on spanking

[MarginOfError]

Spanking your kids...not normally necessary.

yelling at your kids...not necessarily bad.

yelling at your kids in anger...always bad.

You can discipline without losing your temper and without resorting to physical messages. Tone of voice is much more effective than volume of voice. The key to whatever method you use, however, is that pesky principle from D&C 121--you know, that thing about showing love after giving correction.

Plus, you always have to remember that kids misbehave. It's a part of growing up. There's usually no need to yell or spank because they're usually just seeking out boundaries and learning their independence. But despite their growing need for independence--especially in young kids--pleasing mom and dad is a huge desire. Playing off that desire is normally sufficient to teach a kid discipline.

[BenRaines]

I want to be my children's best friend. Not me. I want to be their parent.

I love Doctrine and Covenants 121 as a guide to good parenting.

Ben Raines

[anatess]

Originally Posted by BenRaines

I want to be my children's best friend. Not me. I want to be their parent.

I love Doctrine and Covenants 121 as a guide to good parenting.

Ben Raines

My goal in life is to be such a great parent that when my children become adults, they'll consider me their best friend.

[Gwen]

i think some of the yelling is about the health of the parents as well. when i've been physically unhealthy it diminished my ability to cope with kids being kids. i hit a point when i yelled more than i should have. i'm not proud of it and i did feel guilt and shame for it. i think i should have. my brain was not clear, physically i was ill, i could not deal with normal every day things. now that my head is clear i can handle things. laugh and joke about things instead of breaking down. there is a huge difference and it's nothing the kids did.

i do see yelling as a growing problem as a whole. i do worry that those who yell or lose control verbally would they do so physically as well if they felt it were ok to spank? not sure that question came out right. lol