A lighter side of a heavy topic

[MarginOfError]

Slate is running a piece today about unanswered questions that may need to be answered if Mississippi successfully defines "human life" as a fertilized ova. The questions are

• [1.] If you are legal person at fertilization, does that mean you could drink at 20 years and three months? Could you drive at 15 and three months? Could you vote at age 17, and collect Social Security at 64?
  [2.] For legal purposes, would your birthday still be your “birth” day? Or your fertilization day?
  [3.] Could you get a tax deduction for your dependent embryo?
  [4.] Could you post ultrasound photos of your fetus (naked) on Facebook? Or would that be child pornography?
  [5.] Could you arrest women for smoking or drinking while pregnant? Could the state file a child abuse case against a mother who didn’t wear a seatbelt or otherwise endangered her fetus?
  [6.] Would you be an American citizen if you were conceived in Mississippi but born elsewhere? Could there be “anchor babies” whose parents come to the United States, have sex, and then return home to Mexico for their baby’s birth?
  [7.] What about ectopic pregnancies? If the embryo is not removed, it could kill the mother. Should the mother or the doctor be prosecuted for manslaughter if they remove it? Maybe it would be fairer to prosecute the embryo. If the fertilized egg is a person, isn't that person trying to commit murder-suicide?
  [8.] What about freezing fertilized embryos? Would that be allowed? And why? If you're freezing an embryo indefinitely, isn't that effectively imprisoning it? We don't freeze people.
  [9.] If a doctor doesn't take all possible steps to stop a miscarriage, would that be manslaughter?
  [10.] How would you determine the date of conception?
  [11.] If a woman eats food contaminated by Listeria and miscarries, could the agribusiness be prosecuted for murder?
  [12]. If you move to Mississippi from another state, would you legally be a year older?
  [13.] How would it affect the census?
  [14.] What would happen to astrological signs? Would I no longer be an Aquarius?

Mississippi’s anti-abortion amendment: The very weird implications of the state’s proposed law declaring fetuses to be legal human beings. - Slate Magazine


*note--if this devolves into another embittered debate, please lock it quickly. Whether or not you agree with the law, I would like to think we can all agree that some of these spins are amusing.

[sister_in_faith]

That is tooo funny.

[LittleWyvern]

While some of these are funny, some of them (5, 7, 9, and perhaps 11) are more serious. I think some of these scenarios could actually happen.

[Just_A_Guy]

Even under the status quo, if I injure a woman in the latter stages of pregnancy sufficiently that she miscarries, I can indeed be prosecuted for homicide in some jurisdictions. The key in such jurisdictions seems to revolve (perhaps predictably enough) around the consent of the mother. So [11] isn't really that far off the mark.

As for the Mississippi census, I propose declaring fetuses 3/5 of a person for the purposes of tax exemptions and apportionment of Congressional seats.

[I think I'll shut up now.]

[gopecon]

This does point out the need for thinking things all the way through before rushing into them. I don't think there is a single one on there (aside from #14) that I would be overly surprised to see litigated.