http://www.lds.net/forums/ en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:32:09 GMT vBulletin 10 http://www.lds.net/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.lds.net/forums/ http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27874-pornography-powerful-adolescents-handle-their-own.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:00:53 GMT The drug of pornography is just too powerful for young adolescents to handle on their own. The fact of the matter is that it is too powerful for any of us to handle on our own. This support must be offered with understanding, love, compassion and patience. If a young person is criticized, condemned or shamed after exposure, it sets up the perfect environment for potential addiction issues because of the way the limbic part of the brain works. Shame will aid an addiction in becoming more entrenched and makes it more challenging to treat. Any acting out behaviors must be treated with the perfect balance of justice and mercy. This is a great challenge for loved ones, ecclesiastical leaders and therapists alike. If the response to a confession is too harsh or judgmental, an adolescent is even less likely to get the help they need. If the response to a confession is too lenient, one may not feel the urgency to change or recognize the seriousness of the problem. Pornography addiction is a very serious problem and needs to be treated as such, but it must be handled with great care and compassion if one is to find the help they need.

In the simplest terms, we have two parts of our brain or “two brains” that work in concert with each other. The higher functioning brain, known as the neocortex or the pre-frontal cortex, the rational, moral and logical part of the brain, sits on the top of the more primitive brain known as the limbic system. The limbic system, or primitive brain, is selfish, primitive, childish, and pleasure-oriented, with no ability to delay gratification. It is very important to understand that there are no morals and values associated with the limbic system or “natural man.” Values do not exist there. This is why the Lord says, “The natural man is an enemy to God” (Mosiah 3:19). This is the instinctive survival part of the brain. ]]> Advice Board InnerGold http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27874-pornography-powerful-adolescents-handle-their-own.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27845-institute-class.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:28:25 GMT I've been in the church for about a year and half now. I'm never been to an institute class and never invited. I was ok with that until I found out that my friend in another state, who is in her 40's, goes to an institute class. The signs I see hanging up at church say it's for collage students, young singles, and young married couples. I'm single and in my 30's for what it’s worth. If I was invited I think I would try to go. It would give me something fun and informative to do on Tuesday or Wednesday evenings.

So what are the rules on Institute on who can and can't go?


]]> Advice Board HoosierGuy http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27845-institute-class.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27811-i-need-help.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:19:21 GMT I have a discussion to give on Faith on Sunday. And there is so much I want to say but cant seem to get it all organized. Does anyone have an outline or something I could work with, or ideas? Please let me know!! Gracias!:lol: I have a discussion to give on Faith on Sunday. And there is so much I want to say but cant seem to get it all organized.

Does anyone have an outline or something I could work with, or ideas? Please let me know!!


Gracias!:lol: ]]> Advice Board nc31410 http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27811-i-need-help.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27801-my-talk-family-history-temple-work.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:56:50 GMT Any advice pertaining to the subject would be appreciated. Any advice pertaining to the subject would be appreciated. ]]> Advice Board lizzy12 http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27801-my-talk-family-history-temple-work.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27775-overcoming-negative-thinking.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:37:35 GMT I have a question -- how do you overcome tendencies to focus on the negative, and to be a negative thinker?

After about a year of home teaching one less active person (actually, semi-active) he asked me that question (recently). It represented a huge step forward in trust, which I appreciated from him.

I notice he has tendencies in that direction --negative thinking -- before he even raised the issue with me for advice. When I ask him how he's doing, he makes comments that are primarily about the bad things that happen to him, although I know he has much to be thankful for. He says he feels frustrated he's been this way all his life, has had periods of positivity, but that his native character is basically negative. He's sick of it, but has trouble changing it, and appears sincere on wanting to change.

Practical advice is welcome, that I can keep in my little quiver of suggestions next time he asks me -- it was left that we'd talk more about this next time I see him..... ]]> Advice Board mormonmusic http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27775-overcoming-negative-thinking.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27742-my-son-getting-attacked-nursery.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:37:52 GMT Here is the situation. My nearly two year old son is in Nursery class at church. There is another child that has attacked him. His face was scratched by the other child last Sunday. This child also bit him on the face before a few previous Sundays before. The stepmother of this child has told me this other child is rough. I fear my son may have a scar under his eye from the recent scratch.

I don't want to say anything to the parents of the child because I fear they may quit coming to church. I teach Gospel Principles and my wife teaches Nursery so I can't simply pull him out of Nursery.

I am pondering what to do so presently. I don't want him in that class when this other child is there. There is only one Nursery class at the Ward I go to. Any advice would be appreciated.

Edit: I apologize. I made a typing error. My wife works teaching Primary. ]]> Advice Board Still_Small_Voice http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27742-my-son-getting-attacked-nursery.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27722-confussed.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:55:25 GMT Long story........

For the last several monthes I have felt extremely strong about leaving my full-time position w/ EMS. Mainly because I have a 2 hour commute and then my shift is 48 hours long. I have felt extremely strong that I need/have to be at home. I also have come to the point where its time to go back to church. (The reasons for me being in-active is long but needless to say I know its where I need to be.)

The confussion part comes in that I have been offered my old job back in a physician's office....I have also interviewed for a position at the hospital. The hospital is slightly better pay (I will take a HUGE pay cut leaving EMS), but being on call is required.

Last night I knelt in prayer and I am actually at peace w/ leaving EMS full-time and know that it is the right decission. I'm just confussed at what I should do w/ the job w/ my M.D. which has been offered to me....or the hospital that hasn't given me the job.

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: :confused::confused::confused: ]]> Advice Board lestertheemt http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27722-confussed.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27715-qs-about-youtube.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:19:37 GMT How do I change my username on a YouTube account?


If this is not possible. How do I transfer videos (that I made) from that account to a brand new account? The videos from current account were made on another computer that I no longer have access to and cannot retrieve any kind of file/data to re-upload. So I'm hoping there's a magical way to send videos from old account to new account with just a click of a few buttons.. Is there? ]]> Advice Board Bini http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27715-qs-about-youtube.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27682-awful-situation.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 06:59:46 GMT I'm not sure how to start this, but I thought other LDS folks would probably understand this the best, and perhaps offer some advice.

So I am in college and met a girl a few months ago (LDS as well).
We met at a dance, and she was an amazing, and intelligent person from the start.

Now, I'm a convert, 19 years old ( I am not going on a mission due to other reasons including my family, etc) , and she is 18.
We got pretty serious, very fast, and I did learn quite quickly that she did have an ex-boyfriend who had recently left on his mission and was at the MTC.
I've been in relationships up to about 9 months and I know how the love and caring works, and I know that 2 years would be pretty insane.
I knew she still had some feelings for this guy because of that, but regardless I knew also that she was an amazing person who deserved so much better then him.
He cheated on her, and they also did not exactly follow the law of chastity during their relationship.

She however has repented for all of this.
He on the other hand, comes from a very strong LDS family (from what I hear).

A few nights ago, she got a call from him...
He had been released from the MTC after admitting to not repenting for his past sins.

Her family did know what they had done (as she repented, etc.) , but his did NOT.


So anyway, after she found out he was back she has been an emotional wreck.
Now me, like an idiot, thought that this was because she wanted to get back with him.

Instead, it is really because she feels it is entirely her fault completely for having sex with him while he was preparing for a mission.

So like an idiot on my part, I told her HIM OR ME because I started feeling the jealousy thinking she just wanted to dump me.

I wasn't really right, and now she is a wreck , we are not really together.

So now, his family, even part of her family, etc. is BLAMING HER entirely for this!

The guys mom told her today that if he didn't go back on his mission in a year, it would be her fault.
In my opinion, this is AWFUL!!!
I almost threw up when I heard they were trying to push this type of guilt on her.
It makes me just sick.

Yes, she sinned and it was bad.
But it was just as much his if not more and now she is basically being pushed to like marry him or something because she thinks that everything is her fault and she's terrible!!

I finally got to talking to her on txt a tiny bit tonight, and I can tell she feels awful and I feel terrible for at first putting my feelings ahead of hers when I realize how much this has affected her.


So please -- how on earth can I comfort her, and perhaps still be with her??
I know what a good person she is, and how much I truly care for her and love her.
I'd love to here what you would do in this situation.

Thank you kindly. ]]> Advice Board amtrak http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27682-awful-situation.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27676-need-testimony.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:06:45 GMT I'm not sure how long this will get, but props to anyone who makes it all the way through. I really don't know what to do anymore.

To start at the beginning, my family is not religious at all. They're happy for me to go to church, but of course it's only "that mormon church" that concerns them. Anyway, I started dating my first boyfriend three years ago and he was LDS. At this point I knew nothing about the church and didn't have any desire to. But I loved and was just attracted to the people I met through his family. I went to church with him once but didn't take it seriously and didn't really get anything from it. A year later, we stopped dating, but I was still close with his family and the friends I'd made.
Now fast forward to this summer. I had just come back from an exchange in Chile and started dating another guy from the church. We'd been really good friends all throughout high school and a long time ago I had asked him for a Book of Mormon (his dad's the bishop). At some point during the summer, I just decided to find that old BoM and actually try to read it this time. I know it looks like it was just because of the boy (that's what I keep hearing from people), but I was honestly curious about what it was that all of these amazing friends I had had in common. Anyway, I was talking to him on the phone one night and I told him that I had started reading the BoM again. He was caught totally off-guard but was so excited. The next day I met him in a park and he started teaching me about the church. The next week he brought me to church, sunday school, and I met up with my girl friends for young women's.
That was in August and I've been participating in all the activities, classes, and seminary since then. I've also made a lot of changes in my life to meet church standards, which is not easy in a house full of people who just don't get it. Now the problem is that I simply don't have a testimony. I LOVE the church. I love the people and I love the ideals. It's not even the doctrine or practices I have a problem with. It's simply a matter of knowing that by getting baptized I would be making the most important decision of my life correctly. I've been praying nonstop, studying scriptures (almost through Alma!), talking to friends, and doing a ton of outside research on the tougher questions. I WANT to believe the church is true more than anything. But then I'm scared that by wanting it, I'm just making myself think a certain way. I know I need Heavenly Father in my life but I just don't know how He wants to be in it. Like I said, I've been praying about it for months but haven't gotten any kind of answer or confirmation like those that I hear about from other members. I know He has a plan already, and maybe I'm just not ready for the truth yet, but I just don't know what else to do. I'm trying to just turn it all over to Him and let Him know that I'm completely ready to do whatever He would have me do. I just don't know what that is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. ]]> Advice Board Tazzerina http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27676-need-testimony.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27627-puppies.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:58:07 GMT Guess what!!!

I got a puppy.

And while I already love him very very much, he's frustrating the heck out of me. I'm trying to be patient, but BOY, this is a lot of work, but it'll be worth it in the end right?

I got a miniature dachshund male. a little weiner dog. his name is stretch. (it was supposed to be toby...then milo. i settled on stretch today). I've had him for 24 hours now.

here's where you and advice come in

what is your BEST suggestion for new dog owners? i've gotten a lot of advice from a lot of people...but what's your advice? ]]> Advice Board Lbybug http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27627-puppies.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27615-any-migraine-sufferers-here.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:17:16 GMT I have been suffering from migraines for about 11 years now...and have been to doctors and specialists to try and figure out how to fix them. I've had sinus surgery thinking it was my sinuses acting up, I've had my wisdom teeth removed thinking they were causing my pain, I've worn bite splints for TMJ, innumerable procedures done that didn't work (physical therayp, TENS unit, lidocaine dripped into my sinuses through a catheter, etc.); I've tried so many medications over the years and dealt with their awful side effects.
I'm currently taking a preventative medication (an anti-seizure med.), and a high blood pressure med.--both to try and control the headaches that I now get about 5 out of 7 days of the week. Some are not true migraines, but bad headaches that make it hard to function. I also take pain medication for the actual headaches themselves. I can't take triptans, like Imitrex or Zomig, as they cause the blood vessels in my head to spasm and my head feels like it will explode.
Sorry for the length of this post, but I was wondering any other migraine sufferers out there had tried anything that I haven't mentioned here that they are getting relief from. I'm beginning to feel as though I'll never be headache-free.
Thanks in advance. ]]> Advice Board lattelady http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27615-any-migraine-sufferers-here.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27605-should-i-accept-calling.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:00:29 GMT I just got a call tonight from the new president of our regional YSA program and he wants me to be one of the counselors. I want to say yes, and definately would have right there on the phone, but instead stumbled on unintelligable words that amounted to..."i'll let you know as soon as I possibly can".

A while back my bishop said i couldn't hold a calling because I have been struggling with the LofC, he said that about 6 months ago...I've only talked to him once since then, and that was 3 months ago and we didn't really talk about whether the "informal probation" was still in play....actually at that time I all but asked him for a disciplinary council because I thought it would help...he said he'd think about it and get back to me, but i didn't ever hear back from him.

So now I don't know what to do....would this guy have gotten approval before asking me if i'd be one of his counselors from my bishop? is it like a chain of command thing, or just ask whoever? Can I accept the calling, or do I have to tell him i'm not worthy?

My bf and I have been mostly good since july..there have been a couple slips since then, but nothing to the degree that we were doing before. Im just not sure what to do... ]]> Advice Board lost87 http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27605-should-i-accept-calling.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27578-mission-not.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:56:50 GMT I am really considering a mission but I am torn. I've considered it for the past year but felt I needed to wait for something, I am not sure if it was maturity, education, money or hoping I would find a special someone. I am 22 and don't want to wait too long if I am going to do it. At the same time I have something inside me that is pulling me back. I know it is not possible for any of you to really know how I am feeling but at least maybe knowing others have gone though that internal battle and maybe knowing what got you through it would help.
I was dating a guy last year who I thought would be the right one for me, he wasn't. Now that I am over that I feel like there shouldn't really be anything holding me back, but there still is. I can't describe it any more than a feeling that I will miss something if I go. I guess I am questioning whether that is a feeling from Heavenly Father or the devil. I talked it over with my Dad who is a return missionary, he tells me it has to come from within. My bishop basically says the same thing. I have been avoiding going out on dates even because I am in limbo. I also have a chance to further my education. *pulls more hair out* Anyways, since this is an advice board .... any advice? :confused:

I am sure the answer will come in its due time, I am just wanting to make it happen sooner. :) I have been praying and fasting and studying, attending institute classes and of course church. Thanks ahead for any advice. ]]> Advice Board Lindzluv http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27578-mission-not.html http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27525-gossip-vs-concern.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:41:24 GMT When does concern for someone's well-being turn to gossip?:confused:

Here's the deal. I've been asked to help the missionaries with this single mom who is investigating. The missionaries have only had one meeting with her -- other's have been cancelled or she's not been there.

The first time I was asked to do this I pulled up in front of the house and thought -- oh no.
I've lived in this small town for twenty years and know this neighborhood's reputation for drug activity. My son (grown) was into drugs and that scene for quite a while and he went to parties at this house often. He changed and is living a very good life now raising my two granddaughters -- I'm very thankful for this blessing. I know that the person who lives in this house may also have had a change of heart and turned her life around. However, I do have my doubts.

Last night I met the missionaries there for a scheduled appointment but her little girl came to the door and said that she had a migraine. I haven't told the missionaries any of what I've just said. I want to believe that they have been led to this person and I don't want to put doubt into their minds. But when I got back into my car there was a yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach.

What should I do?:confused::( ]]> Advice Board candyprpl http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/27525-gossip-vs-concern.html