My Wife is Wonderful

[Over43]

To counter the string of threads that have arisen and seem to publicly execute people's spouses on a world wide forum, I would like to change the tact that this forum is headed down.

I attempted that on a previous post, but apparently honesty is not always the best policy, so I'll try something different. Maybe something that is just as truthful, but maybe doesn't "offend" as apparently my previous post did.

The truth hurts, but sometimes it is sweet. So here we go.

I have been married for 21 years. To the same woman. We have had challenges, we have had disagreements, we have made mistakes. I can probably count on both hands the number of times we've raised our voices at each other.

We have had illnesses, some life threatening, but through prayer, blessings and what I would call the miracle of modern medicine we are both still here. We have raised 5 girls (are raising is probably the better term). We love them, we get frustrated by them, but they are ours and we take reponsibility for them. Our oldest seems bent on pushing every button she can. Right now the other 4 are as delightful as any four kids could be. Lucky.

When we go to church we sit with each other. The kids scattered on both sides of us.

We don't always pray together, read scriptures together, or attend those camps for couples. But, we are glued together because of the Gospel.

As we enter middle age we are both professionals, we take the time to "look good" for each other, and hope to age gracefully. We'd like to go on a mission when the time comes.

We even tolerate each other's parents.

I suspect that unlike many of the posts that get pinned up here, our marriage is probably the norm. People doing the best they can to do what they are supposed to do. Most of us don't do it perfectly, but we understand that the sanctity of marriage shouldn't be minimized or publicized on a world wide forum.

O43

[BenRaines]

O43,

So good to hear. Same going on here after almost 33 years. Kids are grown and are having kids of their own. Wife has always been and is a stay at home mom. We have been fortunate not to have the illnesses but have had our challenges. The gospel and Jesus Christ are the glue that holds our marriage together.

We made covenants when we married and they included Jesus Christ. Our marriage is a partnership of three. We too hope some day to serve a mission together.

Ben Raines

[Misshalfway]

I understand what you are saying, Over 43. But you use such strong language. (IE: Publically execute)

I wonder at your analysis of your previous thread. I think that a lot of us agreed with you.....with perhaps different insight or maybe some were trying to expand the view of the problem you highlighted for us. Why would you think that posters were "offended"? I didn't feel any offense on that thread. Just perhaps opinions and experience that were different than yours.

I am glad that you have had a good marriage. I am glad that you have been blessed to have the gospel succeed in keeping you together thru your hard times. Not everyone can say that. Not everyone can say that they have supportive family and friends. Not everyone can say that their spouse is equally committed to this gospel. And not everyone deals with pain the same way. I am glad that we have this wonderful gospel to lean on. But it is often thru other people that God does his work. And if someone is out there is suffering in silence, I would hope that they could seek out a support group or other LDS people who understand the unique issues only LDS people deal with with regards to marriage/sealings. Maybe in seeking such help mistakes are made. Perhaps some posts are too harsh....and too destructive. And I thank you for saying something. But.....even if someone posts full of unwanted feelings, isn't that human too? And just as worthy of a listening ear and a loving response as any post? What if someones words help to soften someone's heart or to re-evaluate how they were seeing their spouse or their problems and help them move from anger to love again?

I hope, Over43, that you can see that opening the discussion and entertaining different views is a good thing. I hope too that you can see that I am in no way disagreeing with you. I am just highlighting the view from a different perspective.

[Over43]

Just trying to make the world a better place for those of us who are "luckier".

O43

[Misshalfway]

Originally Posted by Over43

Just trying to make the world a better place for those of us who are "luckier".

O43

And I am trying to make it a better place for those who were not.

[Over43]

But for those of us who are "luckier" we need a voice also. A strong lobby in congress!

O43

[BenRaines]

I never considered using "luck" to pick an eternal companion. Lucky?

Ben Raines

[Misshalfway]

I guess maybe I see the role of the "lucky" differently than you do. Where much is given much is expected. And I guess when I think of LDS people who are "lucky" as you put it, I would hope that such blessings would perhaps make one more compassionate to those who stumble and to those whose hands hang down.

But then again, maybe we should ask all who struggle to do so out of ear shot of the "lucky" so as to not make them uncomfortable.

[Mirium]

It's always good to post positive stories and for people to hear of things that are positive and uplifting but there are people who have no one to talk to and it is not good or healthy to bottle things up. The advantage of a site like this is that it is completely anonymous and people can say things that maybe they couldn't to someone they know. There are alot of people here with different experiences and some who have had similar experiences who can offer help and support. It could mean the difference between someone failing or succeeding in overcoming life's challenges.

I've had many problems in my life and still have (not with my husband but with other family members). It has been a struggle but my husband and I have tried to work through things together. It hasn't been easy and I cherish the good times we have.

I'm really pleased to hear of anyones wonderful marriage or accomplishments. We need to hear these stories so thankyou for your post over 43 but I'd like to think that if there is someone in trouble who felt they had no one to talk to and couldn't cope that they could feel at ease with coming here and talking to others.

Isn't the gospel about compassion and caring?

I mean no offense to anyone I just wanted to put my opinion accross.

[StrawberryFields]

Marriage is work and can ebb and flow. I consider myself lucky when the flow times out weight the ebbs.