a couple of talks you might want to look at, and an exerpt from the second. it sounds as though has she been willing he would have had the physical aspects of the afair. he can't claim inocence for her integrety. my two cents based on what is here anyway.
David O. McKay, “Developing Character,” Ensign
, Oct 2001, 22
Larry E. Dahl, “The Higher Law,” Ensign
, Feb 1991, 7
Adultery and Looking with Lust (Matt. 5:27–30
; 3 Ne. 12:27–30
The act of adultery has always been a serious sin. But in the new law, the Lord teaches a higher standard—purity of mind and heart. “Whosoever looketh on a woman, to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart.” (3 Ne. 12:28
.) Those guilty of either the act or the lusting must fully repent to enjoy the Spirit of the Lord here and the blessings of exaltation hereafter.
What is really meant by “lusting after” someone, or committing adultery “in [one’s] heart”? Lust is defined as “sexual desire often to an intense or unrestrained degree.” 3
In the scriptures, the heart has to do with the core or essence of a person—his real intent and unfeigned desires. (See Prov. 23:7
.) If one would in fact commit adultery with the object of his lust if the opportunity were present, he is an adulterous person. Although taught in terms of a man lusting after a woman, the principle applies to all, male and female.
But what if one really wouldn’t commit the act of adultery, yet suffers real temptation? In a world saturated with immoral aural and visual stimuli, such thoughts and temptations can be daily fare.
Although we cannot avoid all the stimuli, we can plead with the Lord to help us control and channel our thoughts. We can consciously avoid compromising situations and forthrightly resist temptation. Rather than allowing improper thoughts to linger—and enhancing and savoring them—we can dismiss them with a prayer or an uplifting hymn or song, and deliberately channel our thoughts into positive paths.
If we imagine ourselves involved in improper things, our thoughts may influence our heart’s inclination and perhaps even our future behavior. Dr. Maxwell Maltz underscores the connection between our thoughts and our body’s nervous system: “Experimental and clinical psychologists have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an ‘actual’ experience and an experience imagined vividly and in detail.
As we discipline our thoughts and “suffer none of these things to enter into [our] heart,” we “take up [our] cross.” (3 Ne. 12:29–30
.) “For a man to take up his cross,” said Jesus, “is to deny himself all ungodliness, and every worldly lust, and keep my commandments.” (JST, Matt. 16:26.) By so doing, we can truly become pure in heart.