Republican National Committee Convention Schedule

[Winnie G]

Republican National Committee Convention Schedule


6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
Amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris "Are Elections Really
Necessary ?"

7:30 PM Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan

7:35 PM Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future

9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

9:30 PM break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple

10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho
Even When You Feel Squishy Inside

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights stare"

10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice

10:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute to: Joe McCarthy, American Patriot.

10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñ! ata

11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt.Rushmore

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[TheProudDuck]

Funny enough, I guess.

Although if I were a soft-jazz listening conventional-wisdom nicey-nice liberal, I might question the wisdom of "demonizing" (libs love that word) one's opponents so. Foolish people (and Michael Moore-style liberals think Americans are unusually foolish people) might take the caricatures seriously, and lead your party into the fever swamps.

But I'm not a soft-jazz listening conventional-wisdom nicey-nice liberal, and so I say it's all in good fun. I like P.J. O'Rourke for the same reason (he's even funnier). Plus, the more the Left portrays President Bush as a horrible theocratic fascist, the lower they set the bar for him to climb over to win the election: All he has to do to convince the undecided voter that his opponents are wrong is to show he's not Hitler, which isn't too hard to do.

[Jenda]

Call me when it is time for the Hilary Clinton pinata. I love politically themed pinatas.

[Winnie G]

[TheProudDuck]

Originally posted by Jenda@Sep 22 2004, 11:56 AM
Call me when it is time for the Hilary Clinton pinata. I love politically themed pinatas.

Before I watch any anti-war protests, I always ask if there will be giant puppets. I won't go if there are no giant puppets.

Originally posted by TheProudDuck@Sep 22 2004, 11:29 AM
Funny enough, I guess.

I wonder a bit at what sorts of minds think it's important to put strict limits on funny. Oh yeah, conservative religious types.

[Outshined]

Originally posted by Outshined@Sep 23 2004, 05:43 AM
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[Outshined]

Originally posted by Traci+Sep 23 2004, 06:02 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Traci @ Sep 23 2004, 06:02 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Outshined@Sep 23 2004, 05:43 AM
* * *

[/b][/quote]
:P :P :P :P

[TheProudDuck]

Originally posted by Traci+Sep 23 2004, 04:37 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Traci @ Sep 23 2004, 04:37 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--TheProudDuck@Sep 22 2004, 11:29 AM
Funny enough, I guess.

I wonder a bit at what sorts of minds think it's important to put strict limits on funny. Oh yeah, conservative religious types. [/b][/quote]
Try telling an off-color joke around a radical feminist and see if she laughs.

We members of the vast right wing conspiracy have boatloads more humor than the crabby pinched crusaders on the left.

I mean, I said Winnie's joke was funny.