In need of some clean humor!

[siouxz72]

So, when I got home from work today I was on the phone with my friend who ended up talking to my 13 yo daughter... he was like.. Hey, Katie, what's up? and she was like..nothing... and they talked a few more minutes and he was like, well, aren't you going to ask me what's up? ..so, she was all.. what's up? and he was all.. nothing, why do you ask? ahahahhaahahah!!!

she didn't get it

neither did ivy

[Dr T]

Hahahaha it could have been funny but I bet it would take good timing S.

[Dr T]

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

[siouxz72]

Originally Posted by Dr T

Hahahaha, he should have asked, "What's new?" and then asked her, "Are u going to ask me what new?"... that would have been better! (imo)

why do you have to go around fixing my joke??? jeepers mister! why you gotta be so mean? and to me? i'm nothing but sweetness and light (as my daddy would be happy to tell you)

[Dr T]

I changed it back to something else and u weren't supposed to see my thought about that one. I must have had to be there I guess.

[siouxz72]

yeah i guess so.. and it was all in the timing! you're so right!

[Dr T]

In WashingtonD.C., helicopters are often used to monitor the traffic conditions. Frequently jammed is the Francis Scott Key bridge, named after the man who wrote the national anthem. The bridge's traffic problem is notorious; among some, it's known as the Car Strangled Spanner.

[sakuragirl]

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

[sakuragirl]

Lovers of the English language might enjoy this....

How do non-natives ever learn all the nuances of English???

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this up is confusing:

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP ..

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP . When it rains, it wets UP the earth.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP for now my time is UP , so ....

Time to shush UP .....!

Oh...one more thing:!
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?

U P !!!

[Dr T]

Ask me if I'm a tree.

Huh?

Ask me if I'm a tree.

Are you a tree?

No.