In need of some clean humor!

[daenvgiell]

where do you get your jokes from pam?

[pam]

I get 3 a day sent to me by email Mon thru Fri.

[daenvgiell]

well no wonder you're always posting!!!!

[omega0401]

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.... Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her thermos, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

She stopped, looked skyward and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?" The voice replied,

"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK!"

[pam]

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."

"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!"

He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

[pam]

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said.

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now...

Love, Mom

[pam]

Originally Posted by daenvgiell

well no wonder you're always posting!!!!

Hey I like jokes.

[daenvgiell]

Originally Posted by pam

Hey I like jokes.

Me too!!!!

[Churchmouse]

Happy (early) Easter

A woman opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing there she asked". To which the rabbit responded "This is a westinghouse isn't it".
"Yes it is" she said. The rabbit answered " Well, I'm westing".


I know that's really, really bad

[talisyn]

Originally Posted by Churchmouse

Happy (early) Easter

A woman opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing there she asked". To which the rabbit responded "This is a westinghouse isn't it".
"Yes it is" she said. The rabbit answered " Well, I'm westing".


I know that's really, really bad

Yes, yes it was. My daughter and I loved it