|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
FairLDS.org
LDS.org
MormonWiki
Mormon Encyclopedia
FARMS
|
You are not logged into the site. Please login or signup. | ||||||
| Notices |
 |
|
|
LinkBack | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Display Modes |
10-16-2008, 01:58 PM
|
||||
|
||||
What do you call a Boomerang that doesn't work?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A stick~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why did the Pilgrims' have trouble keeping their pants from falling down? ********Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat!**********
__________________
True Grits "If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters." (~Alan Simpson~) "If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." (~St. Francis of Assisi~)
|
|
10-18-2008, 12:20 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!' 'Impossible!' said the groom broom 'We haven't even swept together!'   
__________________
 When we Christians behave badly, or fail to behave well, we are making Christianity unbelievable to the outside world. -- C.S. Lewis Testimony is to know and to feel, conversion is to do and become. -- Dallin H. Oaks People ask you for criticism, but they only want praise. W. Somerset Maugham
|
| The Following User Says Thank You to candyprpl For This Useful Post: | ||
Truegrits (10-18-2008) | ||
|
10-18-2008, 12:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
THE JOKES ON US!!!
 I was going to pontificate on several issues today, but I was reminded of something so funny and horrific at the same time, I have decided this is the only message of the day. What was the reason given for developing the Department of Energy during the Carter administration? We have spent multi billions of dollars in support of this agency and I am willing to bet not one person who reads this will remember the reason given. It was very simple. THE DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY WAS INSTITUTED TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL. NOTE: In 2008 the Budget for this department is now at 24.2 billion a year. They have 16,000 federal employees and approximately 100,000 contract employees. WHAT DO THEY DO ANYWAY! 
__________________
When we Christians behave badly, or fail to behave well, we are making Christianity unbelievable to the outside world. -- C.S. Lewis Testimony is to know and to feel, conversion is to do and become. -- Dallin H. Oaks People ask you for criticism, but they only want praise. W. Somerset Maugham
|
|
10-18-2008, 01:02 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Two men walked into a bar...
...the third one ducked.
|
| The Following User Laughed Out Loud when they read MrsHart's Post: | ||
Maxel (01-27-2009) | ||
|
10-18-2008, 01:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 
|
| The Following User Says Thank You to lilered For This Useful Post: | ||
candyprpl (10-19-2008) | ||
|
10-18-2008, 03:13 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut he asks about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.' Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
__________________
True Grits "If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters." (~Alan Simpson~) "If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." (~St. Francis of Assisi~)
|
| The Following 3 Users Laughed Out Loud when they read Truegrits's Post: | ||
|
10-18-2008, 03:24 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Top 10 reasons ~~~SENIORS~~~ should Not trick or treat
10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fibre candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your Balance and fall over. 6. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask,' And you're not wearing a mask. 5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or '.....And can't remember the rest. 4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders. 3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. 2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighbourhood with a walker. And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating... 1. You keep having to go home to potty
|
|
10-18-2008, 03:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
For Trade: One 13 year old who knows everything.
Except: How to cook. How to clean. How to manage money. How to wipe up spilled water. How to drive. How to write a check. How to answer a phone. How to do math. How to be polite. How gas is paid for. How cell phone bills are paid. How to work the can opener. How to sweep, dust or vacuum. How to make a bed. How to do laundry. How dictatorships work. How to stop talking. How to get a job. How important it is to finish high school. How the world actually works. She can text. And she can argue. What else does she *possibly* need to know in life?? I'd like to trade her in. For a puppy.
|
| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lilered For This Useful Post: | ||
Truegrits (10-18-2008), WillowTheWhisp (12-09-2008) | ||
|
10-18-2008, 04:01 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Please visit my new website I've adopted through TheMoreGoodFoundation. I just started it so it's very much a work in progress and will continue to be so. www.ldsplace.com
|
|
10-18-2008, 04:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 DITTO; just change it to a 15 year old boy!!! And I will definitely take the puppy! 
__________________
True Grits "If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters." (~Alan Simpson~) "If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." (~St. Francis of Assisi~)
|
|
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
Linear Mode
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:50 PM.
