In need of some clean humor!

[skippy740]

Where's that groan button?

[pam]

Oh I'm offended Skippy. haha Okay not really. It was pretty lame.

[skippy740]

I'm offended by your offense. LOL

[Mahonri]

Do YOU KNOW WHY 'SIX' (6) IS AFRAID OF SEVEN ? (today)

Because '7'/ "8"/ '9'!!!!!

[Mahonri]

True story...

My six year old daughter and I were just getting out of the swimming pool last Tuesday.
(It's hotter than hades down here)

So as we get out she gives me a hug and says, "Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be just like you!"

Incredulous, I say, you've got to be kidding...

To that she says, we'll, I don't want to be fat (I'm rotund)... and forget the boy thing too!

[pam]

There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician.

"All you have to do" she told her class "is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step side-step and turn around"

[pam]

The blonde office worker who got tired of being considered dumb went home one evening and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, a co-worker started telling a dumb blonde joke. The office worker who memorized capitals interrupted him with a shrill announcement.

"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes," she said. "I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the men gathered around the water cooler said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?"

She drew herself up with a confident smile on her face. "N," she answered.

[pam]

The local sheriff would be well advised to continue his search for a smart deputy.

Not-so-bright Herman went in to apply for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?"

"Eleven," Herman replied instantly.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but of course, he's right."

Then he asked, "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?

"Today and tomorrow," Herman answered.

Again the sheriff was surprised that Herman had supplied a correct answer he'd never considered. "Now, listen carefully, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" the sheriff asked.
Herman looked a little surprised, thought really hard for a minute, then admitted, "I don't know."

"Well," said the sheriff, "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

Hopeful Herman left the office and wandered over to the barber shop, where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. "It went great!" he enthused. "First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

[pam]

College students may not always show it on tests, but just how wise they are comes out in other ways.

Consider what happened one day as a linguistics professor was lecturing to his class. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language in which a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

[pam]

A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "Alright. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go check."

After awhile, the blond returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house.