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Originally Posted by TheLutheran
What are the "rules" for communicating with missionaries while in the field? (Especially for non-family members.) Can we send $$ directly to him from time to time? I understand and appreciate the benefits of young men and women learning to survive on meager budgets, but, just like our kids in college, a couple of unexpected bucks now and then can really be a boost.
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Anyone that your son knew before his mission, he can continue to communicate with. So letters from your daughter or even from anyone else in your family are cool. They ask the missionaries not to send "love" letters. Letters can be loving, but the missionary's focus should be on Jesus Christ. Many people develop a strong relationship during this time by writing of their experiences and their testimony. Missionaries are discouraged from writing men/women they meet while on the mission. A mission is not a time for courtship. Certainly you can send a few dollars as the spirit prompts you to do so. They are always appreciated. Although sending lots of money is discouraged, as too much money sent can hinder a missionary from growing, and also affect his companions.
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Originally Posted by TheLutheran
Another question: How "real" or "balanced" are returned missionaries in their fireside presentations? The reason I ask is that we hosted an exchange student from Finland five years ago. He had a very difficult time adjusting to our culture and language. In fact, he was removed from our home for viewing porn on our computers! Yet, he was expected to make the rounds talking up his U.S. experience and did so with gusto! Do returned missionaries "tell it like it is" or are they expected to promote the experience regardless of their personal experience?
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All the missionary firesides I have seen have been pretty balanced. Many missionaries don't give firesides at all. Sometimes if they have had an especially exciting call (like to Russia) they might be asked to speak at one or more firesides. Most missionaries give a report in sacrament meeting, but that is different than it used to be. They discuss a gospel principle, and use some mission experiences to illustrate. Their reports tend to be a few experiences thrown in to support a gospel principle they have totally come to love... the power of the priesthood, or something like that. You hear negative as well as positive experiences.
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Originally Posted by TheLutheran
Final question: Are there stats available for returned missionaries that remain active? I personally know of a couple of missionaries who, given the restriction on media and reading materials, discovered things they had never known about The Church and its history via approved LDS materials and, subsequently, became inactive (or requested removal from the rolls) after their return from missionary service.
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This puzzled me. After a life time of being a member, I have never heard of any restrictions on media and reading materials, especially any that would lead them to discover things about the church and it's history. I went to seminary as a kid, and even back then eons ago I read about things like the Mountain Meadows Massacre in my seminary textbook. Believe me, there are no secrets or forbidden knowledge. Perhaps these young men fell prey to lies and innuendos... which is sad, because it's all there for anyone who wants to read it, and it's much better to read it with the Holy Ghost than to read it when it is presented with the intent to destroy faith. Anything can be made to sound bad if you place it in the wrong context, or mock it enough.
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Originally Posted by TheLutheran
The customary term of missionary service (age 19-21 for boys) is such a prime time for self-discovery! I'm sure that some of their maturation would have occurred whether they went to college, began full-time employment or served in the Peace Corps. Too bad there isn't a precise way to decipher which aspects of their experience were directly related to their promotion of the LDS faith and which would have occurred regardless. 
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Oh, I think it's quite easy to decipher which aspects of their experience were directly related to their missions.... line them up next to some college boys, and see where the light is coming from.
I sent three daughters on missions. From their experience I can answer a few of your questions.... yes, the church pays their way to the MTC. If you drive them, the church will pay mileage. Or the church will send a ticket if they fly. Coming home it's the same thing, although parents are given an option to fly out and pick them up. Even then the church will pay for their ticket home, but will coordinate with the parents so you can all be on the same flight home.
Two of my daughters were given the opportunity to email weekly during their missions. That is nice! It is up to their mission president if they email or not. If so, they do it at the public library, and only on p-day. (preparation day, when they do laundry,etc.)
Also, as to apartments, the church has a new policy now to house the missionaries with members whenever possible. Generally the members are "empty nesters" and do not get paid for housing the missionaries. This isn't in effect all over yet, but started last year, and many missionaries now live with members. For the most part they like it.... and as a missionary's mom, I liked it. The member could and did contact me when it was needed, so I could send my daughter things that were needed without her breaking any rules and calling. And when I called back, the member "mom" gave me an update on my daughter, which was fun! And convenient!
Hope that info is helpful! I can't remember any other questions that haven't been well answers....
I didn't go on a mission myself.... I married at 19. But if I could choose any one experience before I die, I want to serve a mission. I want to serve a proselyting mission, which generally doesn't happen with the senior couples. So I'll serve whatever mission the Lord calls me to!
Sister of Jared