family problems and homosexuality

[debi56]

Originally Posted by Moksha

This reminds me of the family, in a story, in which the Mother-in-Law never could bring herself to accept her child's spouse. She was very hard on him, and yet she wondered why they never came to visit so she could see her darling grandchildren.

It is unfortunate when disapproval can drive a wedge between members of a family.

So far it hasn't distanced her from me, and when I said those thiings, I meant that I didn't want to hear about their personal life, or how happy they are together. My daughter is living with me now and we get a long great. I don't brood about it or harp about it. I have told her how I felt and I feel that is all I need to say. My own struggles are internal and I keep them to myself or try to find answers on how I can deal with it and not to do any harm to our relationship in the process

[debi56]

Originally Posted by Elgama

I think you can state your position and still love the person.

My Mum had an affair with another woman when I was 15-17 - Rosy was great and I treated her with the same respect I would have done any other partner my Mum had moved in, I was very sad when they split up Rosy had been my stability during those years.

My Dad has several women on the go - one I adore she is amazing beautiful woman with whom I have a very deep bond, she is however married to a man who I think may be homosexual and she lives with him some of the week, he offered her a divorce but my Dad wouldn't commit so she didn't bother, the other I know about I don't like at all but when she was ill I still sent her flowers etc but I still made it clear to my Dad I was not going to cover for him, when he was cheating on someone now number 1 woman knows about number 2 I have also told the lady I like if a man treated me that way he would be out and she is worth so much more. But I invite Dad and his chosen partner to the events in mine and my childrens lives and I treat them with love and respect I have a friendship with one but not with the other - I didn't like her I thought she vindictive before she slept with my Dad,

My bestfriend is homosexual - and quite frankly an amazing man we have been friends since high school and my husband calls him my other husband. He knows my views but still I was the first person he came out to and I was glad he did it gave him a chance to talk and still be loved for the person he is - I did give him an Ensign article by Boyd K Packer - I go to major events in his life and he invites my family, I will if he ever has a partner also invite them along. He has also been appointed guardian in case something happens to my husband and I - because he has taken the discussion lessons, and attended church functions so he can help them remain church members - he may not agree with the way I choose to live my life but he respects me no matter what so I give him the same in return.

My experience with my family members has been keeping them close and that means accepting their chosen partners as their choice. My Mum has never been able to accept that my husband was my choice to make - he is a beautiful, kind decent man but she hates him because he is LDS - through that I have lost my Mum she no longer speaks to us.

Personally if it was my child I would explain my position and from then on in respect their choice of partner. Like my in laws did with their daughter who dated and married at least one gang member and got involved in some bad relationships they kept her close and respected it was her choice which means everytime she gets in a very bad mess she has been able to come home and has never strayed to far from church and has actually chosen to let her children go with my Mother in Law. I doubt if my Mother in Law had been hostile to her daughter's bad choices she would now be taking her daughter to church with her most Sundays.

-Charley

Thank you for your input. I do not bad mouth the other girl, as I know it will drive a wedge between us and I might lose her. The other girl is quite nice and as I said before we were friends, when I was told about their relationship, I was shocked, my daughter had boyfriends in the past so I was not expecting anything like this. The girl has emailed me since then and said she didn't want to lose me as a friend. I did tell her that we could be friends. I said that as long as we could keep our friendship seperate from her and my daughters relationship then things will be fine. I told her I think she is a very good person but the lifestyle was wrong.