Bedtime Story: Confessions of a Troll

[Jamie123]

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

I hope no one thinks I make a habit of this sort of thing. I'm usually the one to be suckered by trolls, but I decided the other day to make an experiment. Some of you may have heard of Thunderf00t; he's an anti-creationist who posts on You Tube, best known for his clashes with creationist VenomFangX (whom he calls PCS="Poster boy for Creationist Stupidity") and for his series "Why Do People Laugh at Creationists?" I was in a mischievous mood the other day, and after watching Part 20 of Thunderf00t's series (debunking of a creationist theory that lunar recession proves the earth is only 6000 years old) I posted the following message:

Har har har - you silly person! Everyone knows that the sun goes round the moon. For goodness sake, Galileo proved that nearly a thousand years ago! And as for life appearing on earth "by accident" well....God doesn't play dice! We know that's true because of Einstein (or was it Galileo?) and the Pope chopped his head off for saying it! What has your silly pretend cleverness got to say to that?

So the Troll retired to the darkness beneath the bridge and…well…"lurked".

Trip-trap-trip-trap….WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER *MY* BRIDGE?

The first Billy Goat Gruff was something of a disappointment…

um... the sun doesn't move...

This provoked a short but colourful debate on whether or not the sun moves, each side calling the other "idiots". (For the record the sun DOES move: It orbits the galactic core once every 225-250 million years, carrying the rest of the solar system with it.) The Troll meanwhile stayed beneath his bridge awaiting worthier game.

He didn't have to wait long…

Trip-trap-trip-trap….WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER *MY* BRIDGE?

Are you that stupid ? Galileo preved (sic) that the sun does not move and is the center of the solar system. No one choped (sic) his head off, in fact he died an old man (the only thing they could do to him was put him under house arrest) And about Einstein's quote ... read the whole [expletive censored] storry (sic) you [expletive censored]. And galileo (sic) nearly a thousand years ago ? not only don't you read important science stuff before comenting (sic) on it, but you don't know how to count either.

"Maybe not," I said to myself (unable to resist a little Thunderf00tesque snipe), "but YOU don't know how to spell!" But what a catch! What a glorious catch!!! Oh, the life of a Troll for me!! Oh, it makes it all SO worthwhile!

However, the Troll's days were soon numbered…

Trip-trap-trip-trap….WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BR…oh golly!

I say you're a troll, albeit a poor one, but an attention seeking troll nonetheless.

So the nonpulchrous caprivore was vanquished, tossed on the horns of the third (and largest) Billy Goat Gruff. Yet as I sailed through the air, I couldn't help reflecting on the experience. Had I been just TOO childish? Are the trolls ALWAYS the bad guys? Churchmouse's behaviour on this forum sometimes borders on trollery (he played me for a sucker a few weeks ago!) but I guess as a community insider he's tolerated.

Conscience-pricked, I removed the original troll message and promised to "behave" in future (Fingers crossed).

And they all lived happily ever after. The End.