Arranged Marriage

Hala401 · #1 (**permalink**) 06-28-2012, 10:54 PM

In my old faith arranged marriages are common.

I have not seen or heard any indication that is practiced in the LDS church, and I fully trust that it is not one of the so called secrets.

One of my roomates said that he dated an LDS girl about 15 years ago, here in Beaverton. It was on an off through High School, but in his Senior year, he got really serious about her and the even did prom together.

Right after that she started to break it off, saying there was someone in Utah, that she had known for a long time and she was going to marry him.

Well, after being LDS for a while, I think I can see what happened, and how he misinterpreted it. He'd let me know that he'd told his mom before High School that he just was not interested in Jesus Christ. His Mom was not LDS.

So, in thinking what I will say to him when it comes up again, I'll suggest that she was brought up to see faith in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit as extremely important, that church was not some optional activity to them. It's my thinking that the family waited for him to show some interest in the church and perhaps if he'd responded he might have had a chance. Perhaps the family was reticent to be too pushy because they wanted to see genuine interest in the church, not just enough interest in the church to get close to the daughter.

He's not religious now, but seems to be relatively decent in comparison to the rest of the people here. However, I think he has had just lots of girl friends, and their honor was probably not on his mind or theirs.

annewandering · #2 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 05:44 AM

The church does not do arranged marriages. I know a few guys that might wish they could find a wife that way! lol. Probably some women too. They seem to have had problems finding each other!

Jamie123 · #3 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annewandering

I know a few guys that might wish they could find a wife that way! lol. Probably some women too.

Some women want to find a wife?

annewandering · #4 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 06:59 AM

lol. well no. lol poor sentence construction!!!

Bini · #5 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 07:16 AM

Lol Anne.

Arranged marriages aren't so bizarre or taboo for me. I have family friends that are Indian from India that practice arranged marriages. They're still married today, now some 25 years later, and I genuinely believe they're happy. Closer to home, my befriend is Navajo, and her parents had an arranged marriage. I understand back on her Arizona res that some families still push the idea. Anyway, I haven't seen it in the LDS culture but I suppose families with strong ethnic backgrounds could possibly still setup or favour arranged marriages. I don't think the idea is wrong. You can learn to genuinely love anyone, if you want to. It starts with respect for each other, and the rest will blossom from there

HiJolly · #6 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 08:15 AM

One of my daughters that married earlier this month is married because her mother (my wife) and her now husband's mother, got together & arranged for them to get together. They did, and it all worked out.

I know, that not an "arranged marriage", but it's the kind some Mormons engage in...

HiJolly

Hala401 · #7 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 08:28 AM

Well, actually my Bishop and a couple of other women in the ward have been sort of match makerish to me. So far no takers though.

Maureen · #8 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HiJolly

One of my daughters that married earlier this month is married because her mother (my wife) and her now husband's mother, got together & arranged for them to get together. They did, and it all worked out.

I know, that not an "arranged marriage", but it's the kind some Mormons engage in...

My daughter just got married last Saturday and she and her now husband's meeting was also a matchmaking scheme set up by her cousin, whom he (daughter's husband) also knew growing up. The world would be a sadder place without matchmakers.

M.

Windseeker · #9 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 10:08 AM

I don't find anything wrong with arranged marriage. While I was on my mission in Japan I remember reading a really old (1970 something) Liahona that was laying around and it had an amazing very positive article about arranged marriage. I've looked for it since and I can't find it anywhere.

It talked about the attitude in many western marriages is that they tend to focus on finding whats wrong after marriage where in an arranged marriage you go in from the start searching for whats right. Something like that.

Hala401 · #10 (**permalink**) 06-29-2012, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Windseeker

I don't find anything wrong with arranged marriage. While I was on my mission in Japan I remember reading a really old (1970 something) Liahona that was laying around and it had an amazing very positive article about arranged marriage. I've looked for it since and I can't find it anywhere.

It talked about the attitude in many western marriages is that they tend to focus on finding whats wrong after marriage where in an arranged marriage you go in from the start searching for whats right. Something like that.

A lot of the co-habitations that happen in America involve couples who do not even bother with a ceremony or anything. It is heart breaking for me.