Might as well be honest and get it over with.

[Nibowaka]

My first name was taken as a username, so I registered using my surname. It is pronounced just like the painter Thomas Kinkade. I wrote to him once asking about geneological information, but he never responded.

I am excommunicated and have been for 36 years. My addiction has caused me serious problems, viz., divorce & loss of family, imprisonment, loss of profession, and loss of friends. I struggle every day with my weakness, some days are better than others. Paul said he had a thorn in his side. I have an entire cactus implanted over my body.

I do not know (as many say in fast & testimony meetings) if the Gospel is true. My faith is weak, but I am trying to grow the seed. That is one reason I am here.

During my sixteenth year (ages ago) I was introduced to the Church by a high school friend. My family was hostile, but eventually I was able to be baptized. I joined for all the wrong reasons and eventually hurt others, getting myself excommunicated in the process.

In 1969 I graduated from what was then Ricks Jr. College, and two years later I graduated from BYU. I am a four year Navy veteran with an honorable discharge.

Anything else you want to know, just ask.

[HiJolly]

Originally Posted by Kinkade

My first name was taken as a username, so I registered using my surname. It is pronounced just like the painter Thomas Kinkade. I wrote to him once asking about geneological information, but he never responded.

I am excommunicated and have been for 36 years. My addiction has caused me serious problems, viz., divorce & loss of family, imprisonment, loss of profession, and loss of friends. I struggle every day with my weakness, some days are better than others. Paul said he had a thorn in his side. I have an entire cactus implanted over my body.

I do not know (as many say in fast & testimony meetings) if the Gospel is true. My faith is weak, but I am trying to grow the seed. That is one reason I am here.

During my sixteenth year (ages ago) I was introduced to the Church by a high school friend. My family was hostile, but eventually I was able to be baptized. I joined for all the wrong reasons and eventually hurt others, getting myself excommunicated in the process.

In 1969 I graduated from what was then Ricks Jr. College, and two years later I graduated from BYU. I am a four year Navy veteran with an honorable discharge.

Anything else you want to know, just ask.

Welcome to the site! We have several members who have discussed addictions openly, you can search and find their threads. From masturbation to cutting to cigarettes and on, there's likely someone here who can relate to your struggles.

Glad you're here!

HiJolly

[Elphaba]

Originally Posted by Kinkade

I am excommunicated and have been for 36 years. My addiction has caused me serious problems, viz., divorce & loss of family, imprisonment, loss of profession, and loss of friends. I struggle every day with my weakness, some days are better than others. Paul said he had a thorn in his side. I have an entire cactus implanted over my body.

In 1969 I graduated from what was then Ricks Jr. College, and two years later I graduated from BYU. I am a four year Navy veteran with an honorable discharge.

I don't usually respond to introduction posts, but I sensed such anguish and despair, in yours, it breaks my heart. I share some of your issues, though not all of them. I'm amazed you're still here, to be honest, and I hope you see that as a good thing. You must keep going, no matter what.

I notice you have some impressive accomplishments, as well, particularly your degrees and your military service. And you are still here.

I am not a member, but obviously most people on the board are, and I have some very dear friends here whose testimonies, and their spirituality, keep them going. And you must keep going as well.

Stick around, and I promise that those who can relate to you will soon be coming out of the woodwork to share their journeys.

Best of luck to you,
Elphaba

[dazed-and-confused]

i know from personal experience just how important honesty is in recovery....as a former drug addict (starting in the 60s) and having been abused as a child. therapy might do you some good, and as a navy vet myself, there may be something available thru the VA. if you're at all like me, then i would also seek treatment for depression (i KNOW thats available at the VA). when i first joined the church in 1998, one my dearest friends had been excommunicated, and after the proper steps, was reinstated. whether or not you believe the gospel to be true is between you and your higher power. in any case, welcome, and thanks for your honesty...i know that can cost you sometimes, but i believe that it wont here......welcome...again

[Mailis]

Welcome. I hope this site can help you on your way back. The way may be difficult and looooong but it mostly is up to yourself.
Enjoy.

[Nibowaka]

Thanks for the welcoming messages and words of encouragement.

The VA is providing what medical care I get, since I cannot afford insurance. I have thought of using the VA for counseling, but it is just too far away. I do not have a car, nor do I have much money, so my travel options are severly limited.

On the positive side, which I try to maintain, I am healthy for a man my age, especially so since I get a lot of walking in the desert heat. Plus I do small workouts some mornings with stretching and dumbbells, also an excercise wheel. If you have never tried an excercise wheel, I highly recommend it. I try to eat fairly well, though admit that I like chocolate (eat the dark kind these days) and ice cream. Fruits and vegetables are a big part of my diet too.

[tomk]

I have struggled with an addiction to pornography and masturbation for over 20 years.

This is a serious problem in the church, as recent General Conference addresses have made clear.

There is an online Christ-centric, LDS-adapted, 12 Step Program, called "Heart-t-Heart"

Here is a link:


Welcome to Heart t' Heart


They help the LDS community "come unto Christ" and be healed!

There is an anonymous online forum where you can post about your struggles. We also have annual Conferences where we can meet other addicts and listen to talks by others who have had a bit of sobriety from whatever brought them to HtH in the first place.


Is it embarrassing for me to admit I have struggled with porn and mb? Yes. But I have received such amazing healing and an actual, REAL relationship with my Savior, that I cannot keep silent when I see others seeking help.

As I am sure you are aware, excommunication is done in love...to help the individual reach their "bottom" and find Christ. It is not meant to last any longer than the excommunicant wishes it too, as exemplified either by their angry pride, or their humility and repentant attitude.

May the Lord be with you. You are among "fellow struggling mortals" here. You are among friends.


Tom

[Dr T]

Welcome to this site

[skalenfehl]

Welcome to our site and best wishes on your journey. You are among friends here.

[Captain_Curmudgeon]

Welcome to the site. Lots of different kinds of people here, which I like.

(PS. Just noticed I'm a "Senior Member" now. What?)