Introductions

I am terrible at meditation, but I hope to become better at it. I decided to abandon the quest for Nirvana and just use it to achieve more peace in my daily life...more realistic, I think.

Originally posted by pushka@Apr 12 2005, 04:09 PM

I'm by no means perfect, in fact I hide myself away from the world a lot when things become too much, I still rely on anti depressants and sleeping tablets to get me through the week...however, I feel tons better since becoming involved with voluntary Community work recently...still working from home (I'm slightly agrophobic), but doing things that benefit others and myself...I don't feel as if I need any particular church to attend in order to feel that I am doing right...I try to be good to others, put their feelings on a par with my own, so that I try not to be selfish, and to treat others as I would expect to be treated...what more can I do?

I remember you when you first came to these boards (or at least the first time I saw you here)...you seem like a whole new person...much more positive, talkative. I think you told me back then that you were afraid to post messages because of self-esteem issues (was that you?). Now I see you posting very interesting things all the time.

By the way, I am also dependent on medication to get me throught the day. I hope to go off of them in the near future, but I'm not ashamed of it. I think of my emotional problems (OCD especially) as a diabetes-like illness that needs to be medicated every day. It helps me make the distinction between the "real me" and the "disease".

[Jason]

Okay, short and sweet:

I was born in Ogden, Utah to goodly (though Mormon) parents. When I was in 4th Grade, I asked a friend which Church (meaning ward) he went too, and he said "Lutheran". I went home and asked Mom where the Lutheran ward was. That's when I first learned about this big place called "the rest of the world".

Growing up LDS, I wasn't very fond of the church. It was horribly boring, and from as young as I can recall, I tried to skip out on primary and later sunday school/priesthood.

I attended seminary 3 years out of 4 (my senior year, I opted out of it) and began searching for some real meaning to life.

After High School, I read the Bible for the first time in my life.

I found God.

Then I read the BoM and D&C and entered the MTC.

In the mission field, I found out that there was a reason why I felt spiritually malnourished in the church, and decided that my church wasn't very spiritual at all. (But it looks good on paper!)

Returning home, I wanted to spend all my time teaching the gospel, in a non-commitment pattern format. Since the LDS don't have a paid clergy (unless you're a GA) I decided Seminary would be great. I entered Weber State University's OPT program, and began teaching at Syracuse Jr. High.

Then I realized that the commitment pattern would have been better than the "all fun and games" approach to Mormon seminary. Additionally, I was studying early Mormonism, and began to realize that there were many changes made in both doctrines and temple ordinances.

Looking back, I suppose that I hoped that Mormon Fundamentalism would provide me with the spiritual food that was lacking in the official LDS church. Figuring that the LDS church apostasy from the teachings of the early LDS leaders would explain the spiritual depravity of Mormonism, I made the switch.

That lasted about a year until I realized that it wasn't any different (just a lot more sex going on).

Abandoning all hope in God (since we LDS are raised to believe that if Mormonism isn't true, nothing is) I became an agnostic / Deist for awhile. I flirted with Atheism as well, but it proved unsatisfactory.

Then God interviened and I began to search Him out again. I started with researching early Christianity from a non-Mormon perspective. I poured over various western theologians and realized that it's nothing like what I was taught as a Mormon.

I eventually decided that I would become a Roman Catholic. They held to most of the teachings of early Christianity (certainly more than the "Restorationists" profess) and I'd always liked Catholicism for some reason. I guess it appealed to my sense of self.

However, there still was something missing. I wasn't sure what it was, but I still sensed something not quite right. So I still investigated other faiths (Lutherans, Presbyterians, Episcopalians) but they seemed even more lacking than the Roman Catholics.

I was uncomfortable with some of the "newer" Roman Catholics doctrines. Especially Immaculate Conception of Mary, Infalliability, Papal Supremacy, the new Mass, and similiar things. Wanting to go on faith, I decided to enter the RCIA in spite of my concerns.

Then one day, while driving in Salt Lake City, I passed by Sts. Peter and Paul Antiochian Orthodox Church at 355 S. 300 E.. I had always wanted to attend a "Greek" Orthodox church, so I stuck my head in. It was saturday, but I lucked out that someone just had their marriage "crowned". I was welcomed and given a tour by Father Basil Hartung.

Call it the incense, call it the Ikons, call it the lack of pews, but I was very interested. Something resonated in me that I hadn't felt before.

My wife who was not interested went in after she saw my face. She didn't want to be Roman Catholic, but knew that Mormonism wasn't true either. At this point, she was going to remain a "jack" mormon, and that was all.

She was even more interested than I was in Eastern Orthodoxy!

We've been attending the Parish there since October of 2004. Even though it's an 80 mile trip every sunday, we go because we've discovered something. That there really IS a true Church of Christ. That neither God nor Man destroyed it (as promised).

Today my wife and I are Catechumens (the LDS equavalent of investigators who've committed to baptism) and when the time is right, we'll ask Father Basil for baptism. (That's one significant difference, instead of committing to baptism, they don't even ask. You have too!)

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Edited
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So after baptism, I finally partook of the holy rites of Eastern Orthodoxy. Finding myself a bit too skeptic of the many awe inspiring stories of the Saints, I began again to question my beliefs in Jesus and his supposed church.

Finding myself unable to continue in what I felt was yet another mockery of the Creator....I chose to leave behind this Church, and all other Churches with their various gods.

I happily embrace Deism, as the best natural religion available. I look to the wisdom of the east for further enlightment...

To be continued...

[Jason]

Oh, in case you're intersted what the Church looks like, check out the pics section here:

http://www.saintspeterandpaulorthodox.org/

I love Orthodox and Catholic Churches...I think they would be great places to meditate

You obviously have alot of love for Christ to spend all that time investigating new religions, but never abandoning Christianity for the alternatives.

[Jason]

* You obviously have alot of love for Christ to spend all that time investigating new religions, but never abandoning Christianity for the alternatives.

I have done some research on various "Eastern" religions. One of my favorite memories was visiting the City of Ten Thousand Buddha's when I was a Missionary in No. California.

Here's a site that has a few pics of the Buddhist monastery:

http://www.urbandharma.org/images/CityofTe...housandBuddhas/

And, as I've said, Eastern philosophy has for a long time now held a special place inside me.

[pushka]

[quote]Originally posted by Taoist_Saint@Apr 12 2005, 04:38 PM

I remember you when you first came to these boards (or at least the first time I saw you here)...you seem like a whole new person...much more positive, talkative. I think you told me back then that you were afraid to post messages because of self-esteem issues (was that you?). Now I see you posting very interesting things all the time.

By the way, I am also dependent on medication to get me throught the day. I hope to go off of them in the near future, but I'm not ashamed of it. I think of my emotional problems (OCD especially) as a diabetes-like illness that needs to be medicated every day. It helps me make the distinction between the "real me" and the "disease".

Tao...yes that was me...under confident and all the rest...I'm slowly getting there, although I still wonder sometimes, when I'm posting on here, that I may be offending the LDS people, and be viewed as an 'anti' instead of as somebody who has been through the 'system' and has just formed their own ideas about what to believe and take from it as good, and what to ignore, without wishing to offend anybody who has chosen to accept the Church totally...

My friends, who work with me in the Community Groups to which I belong, have really helped me to believe in myself, and to explore my creativity...I now work on newsletters, posters and leaflets for at least 3 groups, and attend many meetings a month plus work shops for media skills and 'governance'...and this keeps me from being completely isolated as I was in the last few years...and makes me feel useful. I hope that I can keep on 'keeping on' and remain as happy as I feel at this moment.

Well, I think most people can tell the difference between and anti and an unbeliever. SOME people can be very christ-like on this board.

[pushka]

Yes I've noticed that Tao, which is why I've always respected Christ and his teachings, whether or not I can accept the rest of the Bible as being 'true'.