Greetings from a lost soul. - Page 2

ToleranceGirl · #11 (**permalink**) 06-22-2009, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely12

Dear Tolerancegirl, I LOVE your "world". I just wanted to welcome you to the site and to let you know that I am so happy to have you here. You are my sister in Christ and I love you!

Lovely12

Thank you for your support and friendship.

Misshalfway · #12 (**permalink**) 06-22-2009, 01:38 PM

There is perhaps in every religious (and non religious) a culture that happens. Culture does not always represent the truth, nor does it always help people be the most tolerant of difference or human weakness. I guess what I am trying to say is that there is sometimes intolerance on both sides of the equation. The tattoo lovers can't tolerate the tattoo objectors....etc etc. You see my point?

I think all of us want acceptance .....with our warts and weaknesses and all. I think first we must learn to accept where we are in our journey to Christ. I think once we give ourselves that gift, then we are more able to love others that way. We can let others be a little judgemental even and give them some acceptance and tolerance even if the situation isn't ideal for us. We change the world by changing ourselves.

And you know? There is that Relief Society stereo type. Heck, I been in the church a long time and used to buck against it too. But you know, I didn't really see the reality of the RS picture too clearly. I lumped everyone into that boat and decided that the only way to worship together was if I conformed. Now.....I don't see anyone really in the stereotype. In fact, the closer I look at real world LDS women, the less I see if I see it at all.

Maybe now you have grown up a bit. Maybe you can see more than you saw before. Give the RS another chance. The RS isn't about being crafty or being a good cook. It is about serving others and helping them and all of us Come unto Christ in whatever circumstance or with whatever personality the Lord blessed us with.

Welcome to the site. Would love to talk about rekindling faith as I am in process of rekindling myself.

talisyn · #13 (**permalink**) 06-22-2009, 02:17 PM

Welcome to the site! I hope you stay for a long while.

I agree with Miss, you should check out RS again and really look at the women. I discovered as I grew older the number of stereotypical RS members went down farther and farther until I found myself sitting in a room with sisters who have their own troubles, joys, trials, and wonders-just like me

Hemidakota · #14 (**permalink**) 06-22-2009, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToleranceGirl

Perhaps I am not so much lost as I am on the outside looking in.

I was raised LDS. There was no one thing that made me leave. I simply never felt universally accepted. By the time I was an adult, I felt so disassociated that it made no sense to continue.

The gospel has always been in my heart. I carry it with me no matter where I go. I just never felt comfortable with the culture. I am not your ordinary LDS woman. I am in my mid 40s and am even less relief society material than I was as a young woman.

In my world all are welcome. In my world people are not judged by their worldview. In my world we can disagree without hate by focusing on issues instead of personalities.

I am hoping to find like-minded individuals who will help me to rekindle my faith in organized religion. I cannot do this by myself.

Even Christ was not accepted by many in His own town. Joseph had more enemies in the church than those who were not members. So don't feel too bad in not being accepted by other members.

It is the Lord church and that is the only viewpoint you really need.

ToleranceGirl · #15 (**permalink**) 06-23-2009, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misshalfway

There is perhaps in every religious (and non religious) a culture that happens. Culture does not always represent the truth, nor does it always help people be the most tolerant of difference or human weakness. I guess what I am trying to say is that there is sometimes intolerance on both sides of the equation. The tattoo lovers can't tolerate the tattoo objectors....etc etc. You see my point?

I think all of us want acceptance .....with our warts and weaknesses and all. I think first we must learn to accept where we are in our journey to Christ. I think once we give ourselves that gift, then we are more able to love others that way. We can let others be a little judgemental even and give them some acceptance and tolerance even if the situation isn't ideal for us. We change the world by changing ourselves.

And you know? There is that Relief Society stereo type. Heck, I been in the church a long time and used to buck against it too. But you know, I didn't really see the reality of the RS picture too clearly. I lumped everyone into that boat and decided that the only way to worship together was if I conformed. Now.....I don't see anyone really in the stereotype. In fact, the closer I look at real world LDS women, the less I see if I see it at all.

Maybe now you have grown up a bit. Maybe you can see more than you saw before. Give the RS another chance. The RS isn't about being crafty or being a good cook. It is about serving others and helping them and all of us Come unto Christ in whatever circumstance or with whatever personality the Lord blessed us with.

Welcome to the site. Would love to talk about rekindling faith as I am in process of rekindling myself.

I have to laugh a little about the RS stereotype. I remember as a young woman looking at the RS women and thinking - this is what I have to look forward to. Gaining 50 pounds and getting a really bad perm.

Among my non-LDS friends and coworkers, I'm known for my sense of humor. People are attracted to me because I make them laugh. When I'm just being myself around the RS ladies, I'll say something and they all look at me like I'm from Mars. Maybe I just don't look right in church clothes. I feel like a pig in a prom dress. The first time my husband saw me in my Sunday best he spit coffee out his nose.

Also, I don't do crafts or cook...at all. The only pot luck recipe I know is lime Jello with carrots and raisins in the shape of a lobster.

So you say there are others like me? Ones who can get past the what-exactly-is-this-gal's-problem phase? That would be excellent. Thanks for your support.

pam · #16 (**permalink**) 06-23-2009, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Among my non-LDS friends and coworkers, I'm known for my sense of humor. People are attracted to me because I make them laugh. When I'm just being myself around the RS ladies, I'll say something and they all look at me like I'm from Mars. Maybe I just don't look right in church clothes. I feel like a pig in a prom dress. The first time my husband saw me in my Sunday best he spit coffee out his nose.

Sounds like you and I would get a long just fine.

lestertheemt · #17 (**permalink**) 06-23-2009, 03:31 PM

ToleranceGirl.....

Welcome to the site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have (and do) struggle w/ where I fit in. Trust me when I say that I am so not your typical RS gal so by no means are you alone.

ToleranceGirl · #18 (**permalink**) 06-24-2009, 01:32 PM

To everyone who has sent their well wishes and support. Thank you. It's good to know that there are others who can relate.

Word got out that I can speak fluent 8-year-old boy, so I've been invited to help out with scouts tonight. It sounds like a fun time. I think I'll give it a whirl. Sad to say that I get along better with rambunctious boys better than I do little old ladies (not that there is anything wrong with being a little old lady).

Moksha · #19 (**permalink**) 06-24-2009, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToleranceGirl

Sad to say that I get along better with rambunctious boys better than I do little old ladies .

No problem. Many of us act like rambunctious boys.

Misshalfway · #20 (**permalink**) 06-24-2009, 02:34 PM

I don't know.....I think over the course of my life I have been lots of different people. I suppose I am still fundamentally the same. But the older I get, the more I realize I don't know about people and things. And that I don't have to "be" something else to be valuable. I have heard others say that and I really think it is turning out to be true for me. I find myself doing more listening and appreciating than "needing" the security of fitting in every minute. I suppose I just need to decide to fit in and give affirmation to myself. If someone else offers it, well then I will celebrate.

I think maybe part of being young is needing to go against the establishment in order to "find" oneself. I suppose in this case it would be essential to make sure our understanding of the establishment is correct.

I think lots of our ladies grew up in the fifties and come programmed with lots of those cultural notions. That is ok. Let them be as they are. The RS is suppose to put lots of different women in a room together. I think God meant it to be challenging that way. And I think that all are a blessing if we open our hearts to others who may be our polar opposites. I can learn from you. Maybe you can learn from me. Or maybe you will stick around long enough to see that what I look like and who I really am are perhaps not the same thing.

I smiled when with your line about getting along with rambunctious boys more than old ladies. What is wrong with that? But don't shut off any opportunities to get to know those awesome women and allow them to stretch your views. Heck....some of those old ladies might have wrestled down a few boys in their day!