worn down

[jadams_4040]

Originally Posted by tootired

Hello,

I am life member of the church and have always had a testimony of the gospel. I have always tried to do what is right, even when I had my own doubts. I have tried to be obedient. I have had hundreds of blessings. I had a good childhood but battled depression my whole life. I learned to accept it and have learned coping strategies through medical help and through prayer and the scriptures. I have tried to practice faith and hope when faced with trials, and I always tried to apply the principle of "enduring to the end" and have tried to become stronger through trials. As I have raised my children i have always given them the gospel answers that I was taught....

But now I am tired and worn down. I can truthfully say that after 43 years, 21 years of marriage and 3 children, my trials have NOT made me stronger!!! They have beaten me down. When I try to tell others in the church about my trials, they are dumbfounded. They give the same gospel answers i used to believe, but they are really left speechless. I don't talk to other women at church anymore. They talk about the few trials they've had, and it just doesn't come close to what I've experienced. I seem to get more emotional support from my non member freinds. But even they are amazed by how much I have really had to endure. Even my pschyciatrist is amazed. The bishops I've had have run out of answers.

I am in constant fear of more "bad luck" as i have started calling it. I used to think that tomorrow will be a better day. But now I know that tomorrow something else bad will happen and i live in constant fear. Is there anyone out there who has experienced so much tribulation that they feel as though God has finally forsaken them? Because I do.

you are 100 percent wrong, you have received many blessings from your lifes trials. think about it a lot harder, and this time put the lord first, not yourself.

[rampion]

How a person feels can't be wrong. It is simply how that person feels. Depression is real, and the feelings are real. They aren't permanent, but they often feel that way. Acceptance is the first step to change. You wouldn't tell a person with cancer or diabetes to stop putting themself first, would you?

[Maya]

Hi Too tired and welcome. You are in the right place anyway coming here. I been there I done that. I think I should add my mountain on my bloggs... you can find my writtings in my profile you get there by clikcking my avatar...
I used to feel likie a football everyone was kicking and finally that was left under a bush as it got a hole....
Anyway one thing that has helped is to forget my own worries and start serving others.... eh not that I would hear about anyone in the church needing help... well I just stuck my nbose everywhere trying to serve.
I never was loosing my faith though I was just angry as I never seemed to get any sun... so I found this netside (not this one) where I could defend the church... I felt important.. I felt I did good job there. That might not be so clever for you as you feel you are loosing your faith.... but are you really looosing faith or are you just angry and beeing rebellious not WANTING to believe? I think it is ok to be angry at God sometimes. I have given it to him a couple of times believe me! I wonder if I have written the footprints there in my blocks have to go chek that too.... have to get that there too...
Anyway if you blaim Good about something do some karate with him... it will get over, but dont get bigatorious. Often our problems are not from God but from our surroundings and really from our own wrong decitions.
Get up and fight for it it is worth it!