How do you overcome an addiction like this? - Page 2

Alana · #11 (**permalink**) 06-29-2009, 11:40 AM

First off, don't worry about a disciplinary counsel. They aren't something to be afraid of, but can be a great tool to get you moving forward. I'm also a girl and in the recent past found myself in shoes very similar to your own. You mentioned that you have met with your bishop. My first question is, are you doing the basics, every day? Do you pray, read the scriptures, fast? Doing these things regularly when you don't feel the spirit can be a hard habit to develop, but for myself was key in getting on the right path. It was 6 years exactly that I wasn't able to take the sacrament, and during that time, when ever I wasn't doing the basics, I was slipping more backwards than forwards. The same applies today, even though I've fully repented of those sins (took a while.)

Also, since this is continuing for a while, and isn't getting any better, perhaps a therapist would be a good idea. Talk to your bishop about this, if there isn't anyone close, there might be a non-lds therapist that could also be helpful.

martybess · #12 (**permalink**) 06-29-2009, 12:05 PM

I really think you can get the help you need!!!!! Do not let the advisory convince you otherwise!!!! He will try constantly to drag you down mentally! Make you feel like giving up.

Do not give up!!!!! Coming here shows you are looking for help from others. This is the key. If youre bishop hasn't been able to be there for you look for someone else. Do you dare tell your EQ pres? or even the Stake president? Keep looking do not beat up on yourself. Make it the biggest thing in your life. Put in the time and effort everyday! Are in a position to move? If not why? The pioneers would of walked on bloody stumps to get to this valley. Can you make this kind of sacrifice? Give up all you have to overcome? If it's pornography cancel your internet and change your job if you have it at work. If you don't think your to this point then maybe it's not as bad as you think and maybe you don't have to do these things but really if you need to why not? AT 21 you are in a good position to just drop all and completely change your life surroundings. I'm probably assuming things I don't not know and if so I'm sorry. Remember HF loves you. He has given us trials that we can overcome if not he would not of placed us in here unable to overcome. Dont give up, it might take years but hopefully not. If it does than it does. So what you will still overcome at one point. Can you talk to you father? Is he an active priesthood holder? Whats your relationship with him? How about your mother? Or a brother?

rameumptom · #13 (**permalink**) 06-30-2009, 09:59 AM

You may want to check with group counseling in your area. while the Church offers such counseling in the addiction recovery program, there are many other churches and social organizations that offer AA/NA type sexual addiction courses, as well.

annewandering · #14 (**permalink**) 07-02-2009, 12:09 PM

Is it possible a big part of the problem is that you feel so alone? You arent but it has to feel that way.
It is my understanding that you can get a program started where you are. If you even have a branch there are no doubt people going through the same problems. Talk to the bishop and see if he can find out how to get a support group ie: like an AA meeting going where you are now.
Do you have close female friends? Its so easy to not have anymore. If not then maybe stepping out there and looking for friends will help give you a personal net of safety.
Find ways to overcome loneliness. This might sound scary but doing service to others who are lonely might be good for you. Like in nursing homes? Widows? Look around you. I bet you can see them easy enough.
Good luck. I know its a very hard thing to deal with. You can do it though. I know you can and so does God.

tomk · #15 (**permalink**) 07-03-2009, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lost87

Does anyone know of a way to overcome a sexual addiction? I am struggling and keep falling further from where I ought to be. I'm running out of options and need help. The closest LDS councelor or church counseling services is 400 miles away so that is not really an option to me. I've worked through the church's 12 step program, but I still was not able to overcome this. Any help at all would be appreciated.

I am sorry you are struggling. I have struggled with masturbation and pornography since I was 14. Over 25 years.

Here are some links to books and resources that can help:

Amazon.com: He Did Deliver Me from Bondage: Colleen C. Harrison: Books

Amazon.com: Clean Hands, Pure Heart: Overcoming Addiction to Pornography Through the Redeeming Power of Jesus Christ: Philip A. Harrison: Books

and a website:

Heart t' Heart :: Index

I hope some of this helps.

Tom

lost87 · #16 (**permalink**) 07-06-2009, 02:36 PM

After talking to my bishop, every time there are so many ups and downs, at first the ups (the hpoe in the atonement etc. ) outweigh the downs (the fear and hopelessness) but after a while the downs start to happen more frequently than the ups. Its like everything starts caving in and no amount of prayer or scripture study can overcome the feeling of being back at rock bottom. That is when I start to fall back into sin....it becomes too overwhelming and it feels like the good is so far off. I get stressed out and lose the energy to keep fighting.....how do I keep that from happening?

Misshalfway · #17 (**permalink**) 07-06-2009, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lost87

After talking to my bishop, every time there are so many ups and downs, at first the ups (the hpoe in the atonement etc. ) outweigh the downs (the fear and hopelessness) but after a while the downs start to happen more frequently than the ups. Its like everything starts caving in and no amount of prayer or scripture study can overcome the feeling of being back at rock bottom. That is when I start to fall back into sin....it becomes too overwhelming and it feels like the good is so far off. I get stressed out and lose the energy to keep fighting.....how do I keep that from happening?

I think you need better ways of dealing with the darkness, fear, and hopelessness.

rameumptom · #18 (**permalink**) 07-07-2009, 08:03 AM

I suggest you do what I did many years ago when I was going through a depressive situation. Focus everything on joy and happiness. Fill your life with things that remind you of Christ's love. Change your music and television viewing to reflect this. Place reminders throughout your home - paintings, photos, personal notes on the mirrors, each stating how much God loves and believes in you.

Begin reading the scriptures and the "best books" on the subject. What are some books I'd recommend? There are literally hundreds of books that can teach you the basic concepts of joy and happiness. They all say similar things, with different focus, so one may help more than another. Your public library will have several books on the topic. Start reading them. Read at least 10 books on the subject, so it gets planted strongly in your brain.

You see, the problem is that most of us desire to change, but don't know how to make the changes lasting. These books specify how to replace old habits with new ones, and show techniques that work well to help us get through the rough spots.

I would definitely include "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. Tony Robbins' books are great. But there are many others that can make a big change in your life. Knowledge is power, and most of us try overcoming things without first obtaining the knowledge and skills needed to succeed. So, become an expert and you will succeed.

Hemidakota · #19 (**permalink**) 07-07-2009, 08:08 AM

Lost, what ever leads you to commit the sin, you need to remove it. Then, you need to progress to remove the thought when it comes, replace it with a righteous song of joy [President Boyd K. Packer uses]. Last, you need to have static daily rituals to keep yourself busy. Press upon the Lord in daily prayer or every thought for aid.

Misshalfway · #20 (**permalink**) 07-07-2009, 08:33 AM

I think it might also help to be a really good self observer. Be outside yourself when you are in these depressive and desperate moments....moments when the temptation has its most power. Be really aware of your triggers and address each one of them with some kind of protective solution.

Listen to yourself and your needs. Your brain and your chemistry wants the fix. And why wouldn't it? It is fast and easy and it works. Well, it lies to us and makes us think it works. But maybe look at what you really need. Tell yourself that this "I need sex" message isn't what you really need. And then look for a way to get what you really need. Do you need friendship or comfort or something to keep you busy. Then you can relearn how to meet your emotional needs and apply the principles (spiritual and practical) to your routines. You can apply prayer to every micro second of this process as you move yourself to higher emotional, physical and spiritual ground.

I don't find much solace in just looking at pictures of Christ or singing a hymn. They feel like bandaids to me and I have heard from many that they don't really work. I think it is this emotional work that really makes the difference in the long run. And you may need to have some really hard days to get to a place where you relearn how to deal with pain and discomfort. Be kind and sweet to yourself when this happens. Sit with the anxiety. You are ok even though you don't feel like you are. It will get better with each step you take. Progress will most likely be slow. Relearn how to be ok with slow progress too.