Turn the other cheek?

[Seminarysnoozer]

What does it mean to turn the other cheek in our day?

Matthew 5: 38 "Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also."

And; Matthew 5: 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;"

And 3 Nephi 13:15 “If ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses”


I had a friend tell me she won a fairly big settlement in a law suit and the majority of it was for "pain and suffering." She received amounts beyond medical bills and destruction of her property even. This was several years ago and at the time I was her visiting teacher when she said this, I wanted to respond with those scriptures above but I held my tongue. I am thankful I didn't judge her as she became a good friend of mine, but it made me think of what I would do if faced with similar circumstances.

I, luckily, have never had to face that decision but I can see how it would be hard to not be angry in a law suit and ask for "pain and suffering." It seems that "pain and suffering" law suits would be against the gospel of Jesus Christ, am I over reading these commandments? I would think too, a Christian lawyer would not want to participate in such law suits involving pain and suffering either. Maybe you could say the same about starting any law suit, but at a minimum those that would require payment for "pain and suffering" should be avoided. I believe in upholding the laws of the land and the state charging criminals, but "going after someone" in court seems against these principles.

[pam]

I'm not a sue happy person. Yet I do think there are appropriate times that it might be necessary. Especially in cases of negligence that has caused a death. There is lot of "pain and suffering" when having to deal with this. A lot.

Until you've been in this kind of situation you just really have no idea what families go through. Especially knowing that a loved ones death was caused by negligence.

Also the anguish that a family goes through for months and years concerning decisions that might have had to have been made in a medical decision.

[applepansy]

There are scriptures about this... the first one that comes to mind is found in Matthew

Matt. 5: 41
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

Also,
Matt. 5: 25
25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.
3 Ne. 12: 25
25 Agree with thine adversary quickly while thou art in the way with him, lest at any time he shall get thee, and thou shalt be cast into prison.

There is more in the D&C but I can't remember the passages right off.

More about avoiding lawyers and judges.

My personal belief is that we should avoid lawsuits. However, there are times when they are thrust upon us. When that happens we have to play in the dirt to protect ourselves and those we love. Its not fun. Its not good. But I do know from experience that with the help of the Lord outcomes can be for the best.

Sometimes compensation for pain and suffering is appropriate and sometimes its not. The only time I think compensation for pain and suffering is appropriate is when the person is permanently injured in a way that will require money to take care of them. Otherwise, pain and suffering settlements are just taking advantage of the system.

My two cents....

EDIT: I lost a son at age 21 to a car accident where the man who drove a motorhome, over the little hatchback honda the kids were in, was at fault. The parents of the other kid that died were very vindictive. They wanted everything the man owned. They did internet searches for all his assets. They hired an attorney immediately. My husband and I took another approach. We let the atonement work. We're not saints. We did end up having to hire an attorney because both young men left a child behind and there were Insurance settlements to be determined. I wish it didn't have to come to all that. We realized forgiveness would heal better than retribution or compensation for pain and suffering. Nothing would bring our son back or make anything better. (And I didn't want him to have to come back and struggle in this life.....long story).

I'm so glad we took the road we did. Its been 10 years today and we're at peace. The other parenst are still struggling and are very angry. Because of their bitterness they refused to let the friends come to the funeral. We had the opposite response. They were all there... all their friends, even friends that would have only gone to the other funeral if given a choice. And they stayed.... for the family prayer, for the family dinner, etc. During all that heartache and turmoil the gospel was taught to some very lost kids. I'm so thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves us all. I'm thankful for Christ's atonement. I know that when we make the decision to act as Christ would, then everything turns out as it should.

[Just_A_Guy]

What Pam (EDIT: and Applepansy) said. (No one would believe a lawyer's opinion on this, anyways! )

[pam]

Actually JAG..I'd love to hear your opinion. I have much respect for you.

[Just_A_Guy]

Thanks for the compliment, Pam. But really, yours and Applepansy's thoughts are in line with my own on this. Always better to work things out amicably; but the underlying concept of a lawsuit is (or should be) to put the victim in the same position as if the tort had never happened. Medical bills alone aren't always enough to do that. The problem with "pain and suffering" is that it's such a nebulous concept that people assume it's bunk; but you can assume that where juries award it it's because they've been shown some very detailed calculations.

"Punitive damages", IMHO, are a whole other ball of wax. I agree that tortfeasors should pay punitive damages, but I'm not sold on the idea that tort victims should receive them.

[Generally_Me]

OK, I was given to understand that getting smitten on the right cheek means backhanded, or in otherwords is more an insult than physical pain. If someone is truly hurt, they have the right and the duty to fight back (at an attacker, in the moment) or pursue damages. Sometimes pursuing damages will cause others to have protection that the original victim did not have, as a bite to the wallet is often what gets things moving in a corporation.
When the judge awarded her with more than she'd needed or asked, what was she going to do, turn around and hand it back to the defending lawyer? Some injuries result in lifelong pain and suffering, how do you put a price on that?

[pam]

I do agree that many law suits are done for money purposes only. Not all. Many times it's to make companies or individuals accountable for actions. Especially when it's been proven that a company or an individual has been found negligent in the past.

Perhaps I'm just too close to this situation and am biased. Having been through what I and my family have been through in the last few months..I just can't agree that the terms "pain and suffering" should NEVER be included in a lawsuit. Pain and suffering can sometimes have long term effects. There is not a day that goes by that I don't question why and also wonder if a decision that my family and I made was the correct one.

I wish I could go into more detail..but yes..we are in pre-litigation.

[pam]

juries award it it's because they've been shown some very detailed calculations

I agree with this. We've had to provide very detailed financial information and calculated financial losses. And I'm not talking about medical bills.

[Generally_Me]

Pam, have you ever watched judge shows? It's pretty easy to tell when people shouldn't be suing. Like, when their dog is larger than teacup size...or when someone hit you because you were beating them down...or when they withdraw their child from your daycare without notice because you were mistreating the child. You're a sensible person, and I'm sure any lawsuit you are currently pursuing does not fit into the "bogus" category.