Cancellation of Sealing Question

[Utahguy1980]

Hoping someone can help me here. 9 years ago I was married in the Temple. 4 years later we were divorced. Is it possible for a man to request a cancellation of sealing? My current girlfriend is extremely worried about marrying me while I am still sealed to my ex wife. While I have tried to explain to her that Heavenly Father would never make us be with someone we didn't want to be with she insists she will not marry me in the Temple until she knows for sure that my sealing has been cancelled. Do I have to wait until my ex wife wants to get remarried in the Temple again? This is a major source of contention in my current relationship and any help would be appreciated.

[Just_A_Guy]

I dunno what exactly the Church's policy is, but it strikes me that either a) your girlfriend believes God is a monster who would leave "stuck" two people who can't stand each other, or b) your girlfriend--rightly or wrongly--believes that the sealing's remaining "on the books" is some kind of indicator of your emotional attachment to your ex.

Either way, nothing the Church can do will resolve the underlying issue.

[Roseslipper]

i understand why the church leaves the sealing in tack, but when u go to the temple and are sealed doesnt mean that you, or they will live up to all that is required to keep the sealing, sealed. IF I was in this situation and I want u to know that I have never been married, not that i think that changes any thing, but it wouldnt bother me if my future husband was still temple married or seal to his ex, or even to his lovely wife that might have passed on and through the veil....In the end it will all work out any way....We need to trust in the Lord...Dont sweat the small stuff.

Originally Posted by Roseslipper

i understand why the church leaves the sealing in tack, but when u go to the temple and are sealed doesnt mean that you, or they will live up to all that is required to keep the sealing, sealed. IF I was in this situation and I want u to know that I have never been married, not that i think that changes any thing, but it wouldnt bother me if my future husband was still temple married or seal to his ex, or even to his lovely wife that might have passed on and through the veil....In the end it will all work out any way....We need to trust in the Lord...Dont sweat the small stuff.

Doesn't bother me either if my husband-to-be was still sealed to his first wife. I would be interested to hear why it bothers some. Is it because you think that he still views himself as "married" to her? Connection maybe? Just curious as to what women might find difficult about this situation... you and this man who you love want to get married and you hold off on the marriage happening until he get's unsealed (or agrees to unseal). Is that issue enough to destroy the love you have for each other?

I've just always wondered about this. I've never seen it as an issue for me but obviously looking at a few posts here it seems to be a big issue.

[Suzie]

But what are we assuming that Heavenly Father won't take that sealing seriously? I mean I ask because of the comments that he will not allow us to be "stuck" to someone we cannot stand. That's the whole PURPOSE for sealing AND cancellation of sealing folks.

[RachelleDrew]

Perhaps i'm wrong, but I was under the impression that one of the spouses had to commit some serious transgressions in order to have a cancellation granted. An affair, abandonment or abuse. Can someone clarify on that topic for me?

[annamaureen]

Frankly, I can understand where your girlfriend is coming from. I wouldn't want my husband to be sealed to another woman. As Suzie said, cancellations exist for a reason. If you don't want to be with your ex-wife, why not just cancel the sealing? Then again, I'm one of those people who is totally paranoid about celestial polygamy - I probably wouldn't marry a man if he refused to cancel his previous sealing.

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

Originally Posted by Utahguy1980

Hoping someone can help me here. 9 years ago I was married in the Temple. 4 years later we were divorced. Is it possible for a man to request a cancellation of sealing? My current girlfriend is extremely worried about marrying me while I am still sealed to my ex wife. While I have tried to explain to her that Heavenly Father would never make us be with someone we didn't want to be with she insists she will not marry me in the Temple until she knows for sure that my sealing has been cancelled. Do I have to wait until my ex wife wants to get remarried in the Temple again? This is a major source of contention in my current relationship and any help would be appreciated.

Yes, you can have your sealing cancelled. You have to go in and discuss this with your specific bishop.

How do I know? My wife and I are both divorced from our previous marriage. She is sealed to her ex husband and she has a child from that marriage. I am not sealed to my former spouse because we never made it to the temple.

Before we go through the temple, she will have to get a cancellation on her previous sealing in order for us to be sealed.

If you have a child from your previous marriage, your child is still protected under the sealing (despite if your former spouse is living up to the standards or not).

My wife was advised not to get her sealing cancelled because of her son. Once we are back in full membership and are able to go to the temple to be sealed to one another, she will then be allowed to have her sealing cancelled.

Now, here is my thought, go in with your girlfriend and talk with your bishop about this concern.

If she still insists that she will not marry you unless you have your sealing cancelled before you even propose to her, then, in all honesty, she does not respect you, your particular situation and I would just inform her that because of this, you can not in any way marry someone who is refusing to understand and respect the particular position you are in. It is better to deal with this now than to do something you will regret. Even if it means telling her to take a hike in very polite terms and find another person. Trust me, someone who does not respect your position and situation is a person that you should not have close to you as a companion.

Why? because if they can't accept and understand and respect you with something like this and work with you and show patience through this entire part of your life and specific circumstances, how are they going to deal with other circumstances that will rise up and challenge your lives together and your marriage? Is she going to demand that she is not going to have anything to do with you if you are laid off and are looking for work and are unemployed for six months?

There is deeper issues she has to deal with that may not be known.

Let me propose a scenario. Your boyfriend was sealed to his wife in the Temple 10 years ago and has 4 lovely kids. 8 years ago his wife passed away tragically. Your boyfriend is seriously talking about marriage and he wants an answer now. His first wife died with the belief that she would join her husband (who will soon be YOUR husband) and her children in the Celestial kingdom. Do you think it would be right to insist him to unseal from his first wife whom he loved and had 4 beautiful children with. Put yourself in her shoes... how would you feel if you passed away tragically and your husband got unsealed from you for another woman.

So yes I believe the Lord takes sealings very seriously but there are certain circumstances to think about. I would hate to think that she was falsely led to believe that her husband and children would be with her and that I took that away from her. So for me to be sealed to my husband and him to not be unsealed from his first wife would not bother me.

This is just one example but I'm sure there are others. Of course every situation is different but this is just my view point and I'm certain I must be the minority here.

EDIT: opps meant to say 3 years ago not 8 years ago!

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

Originally Posted by mirancs8

Let me propose a scenario. Your boyfriend was sealed to his wife in the Temple 10 years ago and has 4 lovely kids. 8 years ago his wife passed away tragically. Your boyfriend is seriously talking about marriage and he wants an answer now. His first wife died with the belief that she would join her husband (who will soon be YOUR husband) and her children in the Celestial kingdom. Do you think it would be right to insist him to unseal from his first wife whom he loved and had 4 beautiful children with. Put yourself in her shoes... how would you feel if you passed away tragically and your husband got unsealed from you for another woman.

So yes I believe the Lord takes sealings very seriously but there are certain circumstances to think about. I would hate to think that she was falsely led to believe that her husband and children would be with her and that I took that away from her. So for me to be sealed to my husband and him to not be unsealed from his first wife would not bother me.

This is just one example but I'm sure there are others. Of course every situation is different but this is just my view point and I'm certain I must be the minority here.

Actually that would not be a problem. He could be married and sealed to another woman for all time and eternity without having to have his previous temple sealing cancelled. Unless this has changed. It is my understanding that a woman whose husband has passed away could not be married and sealed to another husband, but could be married in the temple for Time only and still have the protection of the priesthood. In this situation, it then would be who was the more faithful priesthood holder. Again, we do not know all that is on this side of the veil.