Questions

[Nicodemus]

One: If I join the LDS church, or become a missionary, do I HAVE to cut my hair? It's really clean and well-groomed, it's just really long. Someone brought that up to my attention recently.

Two: If I'm married and I already have seven children, can't I get a surgery to prevent having more? This isn't my scenario, but I'm just saying that it is something I give consideration and planning to. I don't want to be like 35, have a bunch of children, and then never again get close to my wife for the rest of my life. I'd like to be able to enjoy aspects of my marriage as often as we'd like. But doesn't the church's stance side against surgical options? Getting to know my wife only a few times throughout a marriage that lasts through multiple decades is very depriving.

I tried wording it in the best manner I could, but if it MUST be moved, might an administrator move it to a section more appropriate? These forums are the place I feel comfortable receiving direction and answers on.

[srm]

Originally posted by Nicodemus@Jun 17 2004, 07:12 PM
One: If I join the LDS church, or become a missionary, do I HAVE to cut my hair? It's really clean and well-groomed, it's just really long. Someone brought that up to my attention recently.

Two: If I'm married and I already have seven children, can't I get a surgery to prevent having more? This isn't my scenario, but I'm just saying that it is something I give consideration and planning to. I don't want to be like 35, have a bunch of children, and then never again get close to my wife for the rest of my life. I'd like to be able to enjoy aspects of my marriage as often as we'd like. But doesn't the church's stance side against surgical options? Getting to know my wife only a few times throughout a marriage that lasts through multiple decades is very depriving.

I tried wording it in the best manner I could, but if it MUST be moved, might an administrator move it to a section more appropriate? These forums are the place I feel comfortable receiving direction and answers on.

You may have hair any length you want as a member. As a full time missionary, you would need to keep it cut short during your mission.

You may have a vasectomy (sp) and remain in good standing in the church. It is your decision.

[Nicodemus]

As a male I'm not sure how much I would like a vasectomy. I'm sure they would figure it out before they got too far into the surgery.

Are you certain of this?

What about facial hair? Am I going to need a makeover?

The church encourages husbands and wives to be intimate as often as they choose.
You can have as many or few children as you feel you can be responsible for...and you or your wife can have operations to limit your family...or just use contraceptives....

You can have any kind of facial hair you want unless you are a missionary...they have to be clean shaven, and have their hair cut up around their ears...and short on the neck.

[DisRuptive1]

As a missionary you must also show a part. No slicked back hair for you Mr.

It's been said straight from the prophet that contraceptives and anything else that prevents birth is between you, your spouse, and Heavenly Father. The church does not and should not take any stance against anything you do.

Also as a father, it is your duty to not have more children than is possible to raise. Don't have more children than you can handle. Don't have more children than you can afford. The little buggers are expensive. And stressful. Be careful if you're going to try for 7.

[shanstress70]

Originally posted by Nicodemus@Jun 17 2004, 09:12 PM
One: If I join the LDS church, or become a missionary, do I HAVE to cut my hair?* It's really clean and well-groomed, it's just really long.* Someone brought that up to my attention recently.

Two: If I'm married and I already have seven children, can't I get a surgery to prevent having more?* This isn't my scenario, but I'm just saying that it is something I give consideration and planning to.* I don't want to be like 35, have a bunch of children, and then never again get close to my wife for the rest of my life.* I'd like to be able to enjoy aspects of my marriage as often as we'd like.* But doesn't the church's stance side against surgical options?* Getting to know my wife only a few times throughout a marriage that lasts through multiple decades is very depriving.

I tried wording it in the best manner I could, but if it MUST be moved, might an administrator move it to a section more appropriate?* These forums are the place I feel comfortable receiving direction and answers on.

From Book 1 of the "Church Handbook of Instructions" -- the Mormon handbook of policies and procedures for LDS church leaders -- page 159 :

"Surgical Sterilization (Including Vasectomy)

"The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. It should be considered only if (1) medical conditions seriously jeopardize life or health or (2) birth defects or serious trauma have rendered a person mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions. Such conditions must be determined by competent medical judgment and in accordance with law. EVEN THEN, THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DECISION SHOULD CONSULT WITH EACH OTHER AND WITH THEIR BISHOP AND SHOULD RECEIVE DIVINE CONFIRMATION OF THEIR DECISION THROUGH PRAYER." (emphasis added).

I personally don't think any of that is the business of anyone but me and my spouse, but whatever floats your boat!

I called SLC after my tubiligation because of a comment a sister made in church one Sunday.... and they told me it was my decision....that it was between me, my spouse, and the Lord and I shouldn't worry.

I think what they are trying to do is.....keep people from trying to have a super small or non existent family so they can travel, live the 'free' life without putting the Lord and family first...

Everything has to be put into the perspective of the 'principles' the Lord would have you live.

No one is asking you to be a rabbit....and no one is dictating...anything. ...Strongly discouraged...isn't saying NO, absolutely not....

[shanstress70]

Originally posted by Starsky@Jun 18 2004, 08:56 AM
I think what they are trying to do is.....keep people from trying to have a super small or non existent family so they can travel, live the 'free' life without putting the Lord and family first...

No one is asking you to be a rabbit....and no one is dictating...anything. ...Strongly discouraged...isn't saying NO, absolutely not....

But shouldn't this TOTALLY be the decision of you and your family? I think the authorities should teach what the doctrine states about it, and then trust each individual family to make up his or her mind, based on the doctrine.

Not that I expect anyone to agree with me... just stating my opinion.

[srm]

Originally posted by Nicodemus@Jun 17 2004, 07:22 PM
As a male I'm not sure how much I would like a vasectomy. I'm sure they would figure it out before they got too far into the surgery.

Are you certain of this?

What about facial hair? Am I going to need a makeover?

a vasectomy IS for a male.

[srm]

Originally posted by DisRuptive1@Jun 17 2004, 10:56 PM
As a missionary you must also show a part. No slicked back hair for you Mr.

It's been said straight from the prophet that contraceptives and anything else that prevents birth is between you, your spouse, and Heavenly Father. The church does not and should not take any stance against anything you do.

Also as a father, it is your duty to not have more children than is possible to raise. Don't have more children than you can handle. Don't have more children than you can afford. The little buggers are expensive. And stressful. Be careful if you're going to try for 7.

What it says is that it needs to be long enough to part...not that it has to be parted.