Non-RM stigma

[skalenfehl]

Hey VOL, a mission is a wonderful experience and something worth doing ( I don't regret serving), but I understand it may not be for everyone and if you truly feel that it isn't for you, then I know you have your reasons and if you've taken it to the Lord, that should be good enough for anyone. Sometimes well intentioned folks can talk "too much" and make you feel uncomfortable, to the point where you are feeling judged. If you wanted to give 'em a little taste of their own medicine after you've politely told them you aren't going to serve, you could ask them how many temple sessions they've attended this year or if they're faithful hometeachers. Maybe they're full tithe payers, too?

Best wishes, bud. I know you are a valiant young man and I admire you for your faith and what you deal with every day. Keep your chin up.

[bmy-]

Originally Posted by Islander

Without desire to contend and just for clarification, Pres. Monson did not served a mission just like 10,000 other Elders kept home because of WW II. I think you should not compare pears and apples. But there is no "better road" than the one that the Savior has pointed to his servants to travel on. And yes, it is quite valid to make a value judgment based on what they do/did, the choices and priorities they have and the choices they make in life. How else are we to form an opinion of who they are?

I hear you friend. I was just pointing out that not all of the apostles and men of authority have been on their literal 2 year mission. I don't see people whispering behind the prophets back over it, though.

You should get to know the man in my opinion. If he has 'RM qualities' I don't see the problem. Private schools generally prepare students better.. do you discriminate against public school students also?

Again, you had your reasons for not serving a mission and that is your prerogative. You know what the stance of the priesthood is on the matter. Your agency ends there. Complaining about what people may think or say about you because of your choice serves no purpose.

I complain because I think it's ridiculous. I could infer from a young girls choice to be married at age 19 that she is a whore.. but I don't. I could say that a young couple who doesn't get married in a temple was having pre-marital relations.. but I don't. I don't presume to know how 'worthy' they are or are not.

Then again them complaining would serve no purpose.. they should just accept being called a whore or unworthy. I think it's much the same.

By the way, the whispering of the Spirit about NOT going points to YOU not being ready to serve for God knows all things. The call to serve has been issued to ALL able priesthood holders but it is our duty and responsibility to measure up to be worthy and willing to heed to that calling. So by all means, stay and go on with your life trying your absolute best to reach and fulfill the measure of your purpose in God.

This church is built on eternal progression. You cannot be omniscient and still progress. I'll say instead that God knows everything about us. I'm mission-worthy. Perhaps God has other plans for me? Who is to say he doesn't? I for one am not that arrogant.

All I 'know' are the answers i've received through personal prayer. It wouldn't be the first time man was instructed to go against the 'norm'.

[LolaBella]

Originally Posted by Bookmeister
Things you have to have to serve in any of the "important" callings (bishop, counselors, stake leadership, relief society (for women, of course)):

Served a mission
married in the temple (not married first and then sealed later, you have to do it all at once)
have more than two children
have a really good professional job where your wife doesn't have to work outside the home

Things that will prevent you from holding any of those callings:

no mission
no children (for whatever reason)
being single, or
being divorced
being married to a non-member

This is absolutely untrue. My Bishop does not have children, and is also a divorcee on his second marriage. One of the counsellors is a convert who was called to the Bishopric a year before he got sealed (he was already married) and the other counsellor is ALSO a divorcee onhis second marriage. Not one of them has served a mission either as they are all converts. The Bishops wife is a successful accountant who works outside the home and the other two wives are retired. So, I agree, this is indeed hogwash!! My Bishopric is a wonderful example of people serving no matter what their past circumstances. Its the desire in the heart thats what matters.

[Maureen]

Originally Posted by bmy-

...I could infer from a young girls choice to be married at age 19 that she is a whore.. but I don't....

I'm confused why you would equate wanting to get married to being a whore. Marriage, if I remember correctly, is considered a respectable institution; being married is a respectable status.

M.

[Jenamarie]

I think the assumption is that a young woman is getting married that young because she's craving sex in a bad way, but doesn't want to break the law of chastity. I've had the unfortunate "opportunity" to run into people who think like that, having been engaged myself at 19. (people who assumed I was getting married out of lust, rather than love)

[guitarwizard]

Originally Posted by Jenamarie

I think the assumption is that a young woman is getting married that young because she's craving sex in a bad way, but doesn't want to break the law of chastity. I've had the unfortunate "opportunity" to run into people who think like that, having been engaged myself at 19. (people who assumed I was getting married out of lust, rather than love)

But that is not always (i'd like to hope it rarely is) the case, so saying a girl who wants to get married is a whore is not a correct statement. Just because a there is a deep abiding love between a man and a woman and it is so strong that they wish to devote the remainder of their lives together does not make a young woman a whore.

[bmy-]

Originally Posted by guitarwizard

But that is not always (i'd like to hope it rarely is) the case, so saying a girl who wants to get married is a whore is not a correct statement. Just because a there is a deep abiding love between a man and a woman and it is so strong that they wish to devote the remainder of their lives together does not make a young woman a whore.

Which is exactly what I was getting at. That we shouldn't presume to know how righteous or worthy people are by a decision they made that wasn't sinful in nature [Even then.. tread lightly]. The 'calling her a whore' part was an exaggeration to show how ridiculous presumptions can be.

I surely don't call them whores.. but some people do. In the same manner I dislike the assumptions people make about my 'righteousness' or whether or not i'm 'worthy' in regards to a mission.

A quote from Pres. Monson came up when I was thinking about this 'RM stigma'...

"Every one of us has been foreordained for some work as [God's] chosen servant on whom he has seen fit to confer the priesthood and power to act in his name. Always remember that people are looking to you for leadership and you are influencing the lives of individuals either for good or for bad, which influence will be felt for generations to come."

[NateHowe]

There is great danger in seeing oneself as the rare exception to a prophet's call. If the commandment is for every worthy young man to serve, then a young man must tread very carefully when even toying with the idea of skipping missionary service. Generally, when I look back to identify times in my life when I have thought a prophet's counsel did not apply to me, I see that the counsel usually applied directly to a weakness I held. The counsel I most want to rationalize away is that which is most important for my welfare.

[bmy-]

Originally Posted by NateHowe

There is great danger in seeing oneself as the rare exception to a prophet's call. If the commandment is for every worthy young man to serve, then a young man must tread very carefully when even toying with the idea of skipping missionary service. Generally, when I look back to identify times in my life when I have thought a prophet's counsel did not apply to me, I see that the counsel usually applied directly to a weakness I held. The counsel I most want to rationalize away is that which is most important for my welfare.

An extremely valid point -- I don't necessarily believe i'm an exception to the 'rule'.. but I don't rule out that possibility for myself or anyone. Personally I feel called to do other things.. and I suppose alot of that has to do with my upbringing. It's difficult to make plain in every day situations that i'm not neglecting my 'mission' at all.. I simply feel called to serve elsewhere.

It's good counsel and I'll make sure I remember it on a day to day basis.

[VisionOfLehi]

Kinda forgot about this topic. Great to see so many replies in my absence. I read through them all. Just wanted to say thanks for the discussion, and all the replies just for me.