Non-RM stigma

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by StrawberryFields

I think being a returned missionary is a title of sorts...

In Utah business correspondence, it would no doubt help to use the title Strawberry Fields, RM.

[Maureen]

Originally Posted by bren1975

...Girls aren't responsible to serve missions. They are welcome to go if they wish, but the responsibility lies upon the men. LDS men are all called and it's their personal responsibility to become worthy and ready. The pressure you feel from the girls is because they want their children's dad to have served a mission. They want their sons to have that example. They want those blessings for their family.

Girls are not required to go but still some do go, with no added pressure or expectation. Why couldn't the same be offered to the young men? Give them the choice without the guilt from making the decision to not go.

M.

[Vort]

Originally Posted by Maureen

Girls are not required to go but still some do go, with no added pressure or expectation. Why couldn't the same be offered to the young men? Give them the choice without the guilt from making the decision to not go.

Because full-time missionary service is a Priesthood duty.

[BenRaines]

Vision of Lehi,

I read through all the postings to your thread. It seems that most are "Do your own thing". It is not a decision to be made by your Ward Mission Leader, your Home Teacher or anyone else. It is your decision.

Remember the process of coming to a decision and then taking it to The Lord in prayer. You decide what you are going to do and then ask The Lord if it is right. If it is you will have a burning feeling of confirmation. If it is not a stupor of thought or feeling of being lost. If you get the later then rethink your decision and take it again to the Lord and ask again. He will not weary of your asking but he will not answer the should I do this or should I do that question. That is not the way it works.

Serving a mission can be a great blessing if you have a testimony and are ready to serve. If you feel that you can't serve and there are valid reasons why someone can't that are not morals related then be the best member missionary there is. I have known many great men in the church who did not serve missions.

Ben Raines

[miztrniceguy]

I've previously posted here about my experiences when single with girls on dating chat sites asking if i was a RM before even asking my name, where i lived, or anything else. early on, i would answer no, only to have no more questions asked of me, as if that was a singular disqualification. Eventually i stopped answering private messages that asked that question first. Not 1 asked if i had served an HONORABLE mission.As if there was no distinction. Missionaries that come home early are still RMs, too.Amazed me that so few even asked me WHY i didn't? If they had asked further, they would have learned that i became inactive at 16, and having returned to church at 32 was no longer at the NORMAL missionary serving age. The only one who ever asked if i had a desire to serve on later in life is my wife. We do desire to serve a mission after we retire.

Of course there are blessings for serving a mission. But it is not for everyone, nor is it always a good experience. It is a PERSONAL choice.

Do I wish I had served? Sometimes. Am I a different person than I would be if I had served? Absolutely. Am I a better or worse person because of it? Not 1 person on this earth can answer that question.

[bmy-]

Originally Posted by Vort

Because full-time missionary service is a Priesthood duty.

I'm on a slightly different 'mission'. I'm getting prepared for life. I'm halfway done with school at 20. When the RMs near my age get back i'll have a year left to their 4 years.

It's just my opinion.. but I think my blessings out weigh their own. We both work hard. We both spread the gospel. But i'm closer to being ready to start a family.

[Islander]

Originally Posted by bmy-

I understand they want what they think is 'best' for me. But do they want it because it's the 'standard' or because I would benefit from it? I've seen to many girls stick up their noses at guys who chose not to go on a mission to believe it's for my own benefit. For their benefit seems more like it.

For instance.. my girlfriends sister values a mission over a highschool education. She's not the only one who has told me that. I might be alone.. but I think that's childish.

Granted there are a few gems here and there but they are the exceptions. [My gf is one.. man i'm lucky!]

I'm a firm believer that the blessings come from them being more mature when they start their life. Whether it's marriage or college.. a 21 year old will do far better compared average 19 year old.

There's no replacement for knowledge period. The missionaries have no replacement for the things i'm learning just like I won't be able to replicate their experience.



Thank you for recognizing that. While there are no 'official' penalties there is definitely a negative stigma that goes with the job.

I am also a convert but I joined too late to have served a mission. I suspect that you already made up your mind that you do not desire to serve a mission and, of course, that is your prerogative. But I join the statement above that ALL worthy males should heed the call of the Priesthood of God to serve their Heavenly Father in spreading the Gospel and bring others to His kingdom. As you are a new convert is likely that you do not understand the doctrine and significance of serving a mission. ALL of the apostles and prophets of this dispensations have served missions and most returned to school to have very successful carriers and professional lives. You would not be throwing away anything but gaining a testimony, spiritual strength, experience and faith that you now lack and that otherwise will never gain. In a decade as a member I have been able to see that it makes a universe of difference between those that serve a mission and those that don't, even among siblings in the same family.

There are practical and spiritual implications to going on a mission. Today's missionaries are tomorrow's leaders. There is no doubt that you will be a better man, a better friend, a better husband and father, a better priesthood holder, a better leader and a much more powerful servant of your Heavenly Father should you desire and serve a mission. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me as a father of a young girl expecting my future son-in-law to show that he has the faith, the desire, determination and drive it takes to walk the streets of the world in the service of our Savior 10 hours a day searching for those waiting to hear the Gospel. Past behavior and attitude is a fair indicator of future performance.The prophets expect it and so should I.

I would never publicly shun a young man that choses not to go on a mission. But he has made it abundantly clear where his priorities lay and people have a right to assess those issues and make inferences. That it makes you uncomfortable because you feel is unfair, I guess that comes with the choices you make.

[Over43]

My father in law got married at 19 instead of going on a mission. He has been in numerous bishoprics, worked in the Temple, raised wonderful children (mostly, my wife being the most wonderful...). You do what you need to do, serve where and when you can in whatever capacity is available.

O43

[Islander]

Originally Posted by bmy-

I'm on a slightly different 'mission'. I'm getting prepared for life. I'm halfway done with school at 20. When the RMs near my age get back i'll have a year left to their 4 years.

It's just my opinion.. but I think my blessings out weigh their own. We both work hard. We both spread the gospel. But i'm closer to being ready to start a family.

Yeah, if you are married then your opportunity for full time mission at this time is passed. Move on then.

[Bookmeister]

Things you have to have to serve in any of the "important" callings (bishop, counselors, stake leadership, relief society (for women, of course)):

Served a mission
married in the temple (not married first and then sealed later, you have to do it all at once)
have more than two children
have a really good professional job where your wife doesn't have to work outside the home

Things that will prevent you from holding any of those callings:

no mission
no children (for whatever reason)
being single, or
being divorced
being married to a non-member