Adoption & babies from a LDS view?

[Lilac]

I think God is leading us to adopt a child with special needs.

I'm interested in this from a LDS theological view.

Can you help me work this out in my head?

We are pre-mortally living in heaven. My biological (earthly) children were pre-destined to be mine and were waiting in heaven to come down to earth and be my children? When they were conceived, God sent them down to me? The miscarried baby was mine for only a short time and then returned to the Father?

Is child X (a future adopted child) waiting in heaven also to be mine here on earth? Is this child X "my" child or is it the biological mother's child but she gave it to me?

I know these questions are complicated questions, I realize that.

I just wanted to poke around in your minds a bit and see what you all think.

Thank you.

[beefche]

LDS do not believe in pre-destination. We do believe that God wants all of us to be born, have a body, and have 2 parents in a family relationship.

We do not know about miscarried children--that is, we do not know the exact time a person's spirit enters the body. So, we don't know if a miscarried child will be considered having a body and will not need to be born again, but rather resurrected. Or if that miscarried child did not receive a body and will need to be born into a body.

We also believe that adopted children can be yours in every sense of the word (except biologically).

I really admire your willingness to adopt a child and especially a child with special needs.

[bytebear]

Originally Posted by Lilac

I think God is leading us to adopt a child with special needs.

I'm interested in this from a LDS theological view.

Can you help me work this out in my head?

We are pre-mortally living in heaven. My biological (earthly) children were pre-destined to be mine and were waiting in heaven to come down to earth and be my children? When they were conceived, God sent them down to me? The miscarried baby was mine for only a short time and then returned to the Father?

Is child X (a future adopted child) waiting in heaven also to be mine here on earth? Is this child X "my" child or is it the biological mother's child but she gave it to me?

I know these questions are complicated questions, I realize that.

I just wanted to poke around in your minds a bit and see what you all think.

Thank you.

Nope, no pre-destined children. Lex De Alzavedo was teaching false doctrine.

Adoptive children can be sealed to parents and are just as eternal as any other child.

[pam]

My daughter is adopted and not once have I ever been concerned with the idea of whether she was really supposed to come to me or not. It doesn't matter.

What matters is that she is 100% my daughter now and as if I had actually been the one to give birth to her. In fact sometimes I have to remind myself that I didn't.

[Maxgreen1]

Originally Posted by Lilac

I think God is leading us to adopt a child with special needs.

I'm interested in this from a LDS theological view.

Can you help me work this out in my head?

We are pre-mortally living in heaven. My biological (earthly) children were pre-destined to be mine and were waiting in heaven to come down to earth and be my children? When they were conceived, God sent them down to me? The miscarried baby was mine for only a short time and then returned to the Father?

Is child X (a future adopted child) waiting in heaven also to be mine here on earth? Is this child X "my" child or is it the biological mother's child but she gave it to me?

I know these questions are complicated questions, I realize that.

I just wanted to poke around in your minds a bit and see what you all think.

Thank you.

Well, the church has a website about it
https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/ct/...ting-families/
You could maybe contact a representative who would answer a lot of those questions.

[pam]

Originally Posted by Maxgreen1

Well, the church has a website about it
https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/ct/...ting-families/
You could maybe contact a representative who would answer a lot of those questions.

They aren't there to answer the theological questions the OP has. They assist with those interested in adopting or to those wanting to give their babies up for adoption.

So not a good place to send someone with the kinds of questions the OP has.

[Maxgreen1]

I see. I'm clueless.

[RanMan]

Originally Posted by bytebear

Nope, no pre-destined children. Lex De Alzavedo was teaching false doctrine.

Adoptive children can be sealed to parents and are just as eternal as any other child.

I disagree.

My Patriarchal Blessings states that my parents agreed to be my parents. So, there are instances where this happens. I don't think all parent-child pairings are pre-destined though.

[RanMan]

In response to the OP - what ultimately matters is what we choose to do here. With that in mind, if you choose to adopt a child and take care of it, then that is your child. That is all that really matters.

[bluedreams]

Originally Posted by Lilac

I know these questions are complicated questions, I realize that.

I just wanted to poke around in your minds a bit and see what you all think.

Like you said, these questions are complex ones. There's no one straight forward answer to any of them (well except that LDS don't believe in predestination, exactly).

Here are some of my personal experiences with adoption. You can take them as you will. I was going to be adopted when I was an infant. My mother had me out of wedlock and did not have a stable job. For a woman who still believed adamently in the LDS faith and the structure of the family as 2 parents preferably sealed in the temple and children, she wanted me to have that as well and worked to give me that, even flying out to Utah to give it a better shot at the adoption thing. The process was painful...emotionally exhausting on her end at least. Insomuch that she's still very critical of commercials on the byu channel about LDS adoption services about how it contrives adoption to be like. Anyways my mother had found a family that she believed perfect. She felt good about the option and in her mind, it was the perfect family situation that she could imagine for her child. Through no fault of her own and some very strange mishaps in paper work, it made it look that I had already been given away and the parents entered another adoption contract that was not me. In Utah at the time, you were not allowed to adopt two seperate children at the same time.
So there my mom was with still with the child and two other families that her LDS agent had in mind. She said that she simply didn't feel right about them and the adoption agent that had been working with my mom confided that she agreed. By then I was about 2 months old and that was simply enough for my mother emotionally.
I found this story entirely out not too long ago and long after I received my patriarchal blessing. In the moment a line from my blessing connected strongly with the story and I felt strongly assured that I was supposed to be in the family that I was in. It meant having a very messy family and came with its own set of challenges, but I understood that this is the path that I needed to be on even from way back when.

I, nor anyone else, fully can see why certain things come about. LDS certainly don't believe we are predetestined/fated to, say, be born into an abusive home, horribly disfigured, living in a state of constant starvation, or a plethora of other problems that can befall humanity. But we are foreordained to certain things and I do believe certain experiences were expected to be apart of our path on earth.
Right now, you feel called to adopt a child with special needs. If that is what you feel you need to do, work on doing it. If it is successful, I'd assume that that child needed you as his/her parent and that you should then work diligently to take care of his needs. But as mormonmusic pointed out, that path may leave to unexpected results. We're not God, we do not see things fully....what matters most is that we do what he asks us to do. The more complex questions of life and within our own experiences will find their resolution in their own due time.


With luv,
BD