What is general protocol?

[Bini]

This is a branch off from another thread that I didn't want to hijack.


A scenario:
An unmarried couple have a child together. Despite being non-members, they are overall good people and have a loving relationship. One day, person A decides to investigate the LDS faith and is interested in taking steps to become baptised. Person A learns that he/she cannot live the gospel in his/her current living conditions (specifically, living with boy/girlfriend). The dilemma is that person B does not want to get married (this decision was mutual prior to becoming involved with each other), however, does not care if person A wishes to become LDS.


Baring in mind that there is a child or children involved, and the relationship is a happy one, how is this situation addressed? What would be general protocol? I remember someone arguing that if your partner loves you, he/she will marry you. I know for a fact that this is untrue. I have an uncle that refused to get married. He just didn't believe marriage was necessary, however, he loves his girlfriend dearly and they have been together for about 30 years or so. They raised three boys and to this day, are a happy family.

[Vort]

Remember Lot's wife. Jesus taught:

And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

and also:

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

I cannot give an authoritative interpretation of this, and I certainly do not want to be putting words in the mouth of the Savior. But to my eyes and mind, what these teachings look like is, "I know you have things that you value. If you are willing to sacrifice all things, even those good things, for me, I will more than make up the sacrifice. If you are not willing to sacrifice those things for me, you cannot come where I am."

I do not know exactly how this applies to the situation you outline, but I suspect that we all will eventually be required to sacrifice whatever we hold dearest and embrace the Lord. If we do so, we will inherit all; if we do not, we will receive only that portion that we are willing to receive, because we were not willing to enjoy what we might have received.

One interpretation, anyway.

[beefche]

I'm sure there may be exceptions, but by and far, they would be counseled to either get married or live separately if one of the persons wanted to be baptized. One cannot agree to live the commandments while actively breaking one.

I know this was very common on my mission. Both of my mission presidents (and the mission presidents over my home area) will not approve baptism for someone who is living with another without marriage.

[Bini]

I certainly have great admiration for someone that finds the strength to pursue the gospel at whatever cost, especially for a convert, what an enormous step to take from the get-go! I don't know how many people would have the strength to leave the man/woman they love so dearly, and who is the father/mother of their child. It absolutely requires unwavering faith and trust in the Lord.

[Bini]

Originally Posted by beefche

I'm sure there may be exceptions, but by and far, they would be counseled to either get married or live separately if one of the persons wanted to be baptized. One cannot agree to live the commandments while actively breaking one.

I know this was very common on my mission. Both of my mission presidents (and the mission presidents over my home area) will not approve baptism for someone who is living with another without marriage.

Yes, I wonder what an "exception" would entail..

[mnn727]

Breaking the Law of Chastity is one of the things that will prevent a baptism.
You either believe and follow or you don't.

[Jennarator]

I was going to say what beeche said....even siting the mission president. LOL!

Sadly we sometimes have to make sacrifices that are huge. But following the teachings of Christ will bring us more joy than anything.
I look at it as choosing best over good or better.
I don't know of any exceptions, however I am in no authority to make that call. Perhaps there is one.....but then I don't think so.....

[beefche]

Originally Posted by Bini

Yes, I wonder what an "exception" would entail..

I have no idea. I know there was one member of this site who stated she lived with her boyfriend and was able to receive a temple recommend. I admit, though, that I find that highly suspect.

[annewandering]

Originally Posted by beefche

I have no idea. I know there was one member of this site who stated she lived with her boyfriend and was able to receive a temple recommend. I admit, though, that I find that highly suspect.

Her boyfriend was her caretaker because she was disabled. They were not intimate. They had separate bedrooms. What about her situation did you not understand?

[beefche]

Oh, I didn't say I didn't understand what she said.