resources/links for your marriage

[Gwen]

ok so we get ppl coming here a lot looking for advise on their marriage. the same links get posted... usually cause even though the names and details have changed to protect the innocent the answers/story is still the same.

so i thought we could have a thread not to discuss specific marriage problems but just links of good resources that can be referenced when the occassion arrises. they can be links to talks from the church leaders, different marriage/self help books or programs, websites, etc. so it's not really a discussion thread so much as a resources for your marriage thread. however, please throw in why you posted a specific talk or if you have read it and found it useful if you like. i'll start with ones i recommend or have seen recommended and yall can throw in as you see fit.

first the church resources LDS Family Services lots of info there including how to find an lds counselor in your area. if finances are a problem speak with your bishop.

another church location that may have some info you are looking for... Home & Family- Building a Strong Family

outside of the church resources... remember most websites have free email news letters that can have awsome information.

Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice this one has the book "his needs her needs" as well as others by the same author (willard f. harley, jr. ph.d)

Marriage Counseling - Free Marriage Help – Save Marriage - Stop Divorce - Marriage Problem Solving (this one has a great free emails that come regularly)

Pamper your LDS Marriage with a "Magnify Your Marriage" Retreat! this guy is lds in case that matters to you.

Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment this one is also lds and has a lot of focus on the sexual difficulties in marriage that may not be addressed in other resources.

the movie "fireproof" and the book that inspired it "the love dare" often get suggested, here is the official site... Welcome To FireProofMyMarriage.com

The Five Love Languages this one gets recommended a lot

this one is also lds DeseretBook.com - For All Eternity

that's all i can think of off the top of my head....

[Gwen]

other church produced resources

LDS.org - Optional Courses Table of Contents - Marriage and Family Relations Instructor’s Manual

there is another course the church put out within the last few yrs that i can't seem to find.... anyone know what i'm talking about?

[Celica]

Thanks Gwen! I'm having trouble in my marriage, I hope these sites help. :0)

[foreverafter]

Since it seems that most marriage problems stem from some form of abuse by one or both spouses, I highly recommend the book, "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. He is one of the leading authorities on Spouse Abuse & his books will help you identify & deal with any abuse in your marriage & help you protect yourself, your children & marriage from further abuse.

Pres. Hinckley said more than once how glad he was that people were becoming more aware of this rampant problem & learning how to deal with it. It seems to be happening in more than half the homes of the Church. I believe most abusive people can change if their spouse will lovingly & patiently but firmly, expect respect & teach them how to love & serve them & unlearn the prideful beliefs they were taught earlier in life.

[Laureltree]

Ive seen allot of people ask question about Addiction to porn to...
Here are two really good links..

LifeStar
Sexual Addiction Recovery - LifeSTAR Network
Church Addiction course
Addiction Recovery Program

Both are very helpful and informative

[spirettedotter]

How about advice BEFORE marriage...specifically about making a good choice, second marriages, and marriage after being widowed... Any links for those topics?

[ryanh]

Resources for marriages where one or both partners have ADD/ADHD.

My primary recommendation is the book ADD & Romance by Jonathan Halverstadt. Johnathan has ADHD, and not only captures well the challenges this condition can bring to a marriage, but gives practical solutions to dealing with those challenges as well.

Another book is Gina Pera's Is It You, Me, or Adult ADD?. I generally would not recommend this book to the spouse who has ADHD as it is very much from the non-ADHD partner's perspective. For those married to someone with ADHD, this is your book for understanding and validation - esp if you are at your whit's end.

Other books include:

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? : A Self-help Audio Program for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
I've heard from those with ADHD that this is a very validating book making it clear that it is the disorder, not the quality of your character, that is at issue.

Driven To Distraction : Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood by Edward Hallowell
Recognized as the breakthrough book recognizing ADHD and it's effects on adults.

Delivered from Distraction by Edward Hallowell
I have the book, but couldn't get past the first half of it. Hallowell's writing clearly reflects his ADHD, and I couldn't stand reading it. Too much of an apologetic and patronizing tone for me to take it seriously.

Honey, are you listening - Written by an ADHD husband and his non-ADHD wife. I have not read it.

Living With Add When You're Not the One Who Has It A very rudimentary primer that introduces the concept of ADHD's impacts on a marriage, and one woman's awakening regarding why her marriage to her deceased husband was so hard. I was disappointed, and would not recommend it except as a starting place for introductory information.

Healing ADD, Daniel Amen
Dr. Amen is known as one of the leading researchers and thought provokers regarding ADHD

Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults by Lynn Weiss, Kenneth A. Bonnet Ph. D.

Adventures in Fast Forward: Life, Love, and Work for the Add Adult by Kathleen G. Nadeau

What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?: Social Skills Help for Adults With Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (Ad/Hd) a Reader-Friendly Guide by Michele Novotni, Randy Petersen (Contributor), Richard Dimatteo (Illustrator)

Adult A.D.D.: A Reader Friendly Guide to Identifying, Understanding, and Treating Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults by Lynn, Ph.D. Weiss, Kenneth A. Bonnet Ph. D.

A.D.D. on the Job: Making Your A.D.D. Work for You by Lynn, Ph.D. Weiss

Journeys Through Adulthood: Discover a New Sense of Identity and Meaning While Living With Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden, Edward M. Hallowell

You, Your Relationship & Your Add: A Workbook by Michael T. Bell

[Gwen]

Originally Posted by spirettedotter

How about advice BEFORE marriage...specifically about making a good choice, second marriages, and marriage after being widowed... Any links for those topics?

most any of them are good before. if you know this stuff from the beginning you can possibly prevent the marriage issues to begin with.

i would say the "and they were not ashamed" is a great one to read just before marriage. it addresses a lot about the issue of when you try to say no for so long and then suddenly sex is ok.... can create some issues. the perspective of when a kid grows up very religious and thinks sex is "bad"..... and the non simplicity of the female body... good info to have before the wedding night.

"his needs her needs" is good. some of the chapters could be cut out if one wanted to but it has some worksheets to help you figure out who you are and who the other person is, what they need.

"love languages" or any of the communication ones really.

and personally i would suggest taking any and all legit personality assessments you can. they can be fun to do and read results together but they can give great insight.

i spoke to a counselor once that said in her opinion anyone getting married to someone with kids (especially if they have been divorced) needs to do pre marriage counseling.

in making a good choice the best way (in my opinion) to do that is to understand yourself.... any program that lets you learn about who you are and why you do what you do would be good..... i bet there are a few of the ADD ones that would be good for that if one has been diagnosed.

that doesn't give any "extra" links so not sure if it answers your question.

[MormonMama]

I decided to remove this post as it's just incredibly personal and I've come to regret posting it on a public forum.

[hrrc]

My wife and I recommend Mark Gungor. We purchased his video series "Laugh your way to a better marriage". Our friends are all lined up to borrow it, several have already seen it and love it.

Here's a clip:

YouTube - Mark Gungor-Men's Brain Women's Brain-EXTENDED.mp4