The Impact of Pornography on families

[anne45]

i recently uncovered that a good friend of mine and her husband are swingers. they are active lds and i am at a loss to what to do.

[pam]

Originally Posted by anne45

i recently uncovered that a good friend of mine and her husband are swingers. they are active lds and i am at a loss to what to do.

Why do you feel you need to do something?

[anne45]

you are right, i cannot judge others.

[pam]

Originally Posted by anne45

you are right, i cannot judge others.

I just meant it in the sense that they are adults. While you may not agree with their choices..it still remains to be their business. That's the hard part about being friends with people who are making choices contrary to what we know to be right.

[MorningStar]

Originally Posted by anne45

i recently uncovered that a good friend of mine and her husband are swingers. they are active lds and i am at a loss to what to do.

Some friends of mine made a group of friends in the Air Force and were horrified to discover that they were all swinging with each other. They just quietly withdrew from the friendship because they felt like they were trying to recruit them.

[brooklynbw]

Im sorry...what are swingers? Am I that naive?

[Windseeker]

Swingers are Married couples that share partners (sexually) with each other.

..wow I feel like I have allot to offer today

[skippy740]

If they are in any kind of leadership positions, you should talk with your bishop.

[Windseeker]

Originally Posted by anne45

i recently uncovered that a good friend of mine and her husband are swingers. they are active lds and i am at a loss to what to do.

I have some thoughts on this as many posts today have circled things that created so much pain in my life.

First off my ex-wife’s brother was sent home from his mission and disfellowshiped due to sexual indiscretion. His first wife left him for a woman and his second wife and he live the swinging lifestyle. Regardless of his ever indulgent and weak willed sexual nature he and his wife are very successful from a worldly standpoint. Their swinging lifestyle lulled another sister in law over, causing the divorce of his brother and also undermined in some ways my ex-wife’s testimony as she was jealous of their worldly success. She left our family for this type of lifestyle and has since repented and come back to semi-activity in the church.

My point is simply that in my experience, this is a very dangerous lifestyle and it hurts far more than just the "swingers". The people I have come across that are engaged in this are always on the prowl and they sniff out other couples like glassy eyed Amway salesmen. They come on acting like your best friends. They groom families like child molesters, feeling for any weakness and then slowly dig away at your values until they spring their lustful desires on you. It’s very serious and if anyone in a ward were engaged in this the Bishop ought to know. I’d steer clear of these people like they have the plague, because they do spiritually. If there are children in any of these families they are going to be hurt.

?Watch with Me? - Liahona July 2001 - liahona

The Savior prayed to His Father for strength. In the midst of His agony, He returned to Peter to teach him what it requires for all who would watch with Him:

“And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?

“Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt. 26:40–41).

There is a reassurance and a warning in that simple exchange of the Master with His shepherds. He watches with us. He who sees all things, whose love is endless, and who never sleeps—He watches with us. He knows what the sheep need at every moment. By the power of the Holy Ghost, He can tell us and send us to them. And we can by the priesthood invite His power to bless them.

But His warning to Peter is to us as well. The wolf who would kill the sheep will surely tear at the shepherd. So we must watch over ourselves as well as others. As a shepherd, we will be tempted to go near the edges of sin. But sin in any form offends the Holy Ghost. You must not do anything or go anywhere that offends the Spirit. You cannot afford that risk. Should sin cause you to fail, you would not only be responsible for your own sins but for the sorrow you might have prevented in the lives of others had you been worthy to hear and obey the whisperings of the Spirit. The shepherd must be able to hear the voice of the Spirit and bring down the powers of heaven or he will fail.

The warning given to an ancient prophet is a warning to us as well:

“So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me.

“When I say unto the wicked, O wicked man, thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand” (Ezek. 33:7–8).

In light of this understanding I would warn your friend and notify the Bishop.

[Vort]

Originally Posted by anne45

you are right, i cannot judge others.

You can judge the actions of others. If they are "active LDS" and are "swingers" (and you know this for a fact), then they are hypocrites of the first order. I don't know what the appropriate course of action is. In such a case, I doubt I would castigate them, but I also can't really see myself being close friends with those who would mock and abuse so badly what should be a holy relationship.