Never to Late?

[Landy77]

I was divorced about 8 months ago. I went out of town to work for the last 6 months and have done a lot of self reflection. I came back in town, I have not "moved on" and neither has she. I decided that things can be mended and actively started persuing her again. I have made a lot of progress in that direction. The one topic that has come to mind is forgiveness and it is never to late. That is my guiding motivation for persuing my ex-wife. I don't know of this is normal or if I am making a mockery of marriage. We have children.

[Backroads]

I don't think you're making a mockery of marriage at all. I wish you luck in however this unfolds.

[JudoMinja]

Because you seem focused on "forgiveness", I think you may need to exercise caution. There is nothing wrong with making amends with your ex, and forgiveness is certainly a wonderful thing. However, you should be careful to consider what caused you to divorce. Are those issues still present? Will they always be present, or can they be resolved? Was there any serious dysfunction in the relationship? It would be a bad idea to go back into the relationship if you will just end up experiencing the same problems and splitting up again. As long as you are carefully thinking about these things and addressing any previous problems you had, I don't see anything wrong with this.

[Bini]

Judo nailed it on the head.


Forgiveness is important. But it's just as important to remember the reason or reasons why you chose to divorce. It would be a tragedy to return to a cycle of unhappiness and distrust, especially if you have children, they deserve a secure and positive environment.

[Landy77]

I agree with your comment, the more I am around her the more I know the more things have changed, the more they have stayed the same. BTW, never go to a marriage counselor or a phychologist for help. You will end up wanting to "fix" everyone and you are always right because of something your counselor told you.