When is the Ideal age to get Married?

[Dravin]

Originally Posted by beefche

Wait....most agree that 50 is too old to get married? Who are "most?"

I suspect those who have taken his survey.

In what way is God-given agency compromised in an arranged marriage?

"Free agency" does not mean "I get to choose whatever I wish to choose in any manner I desire". I can lock you in a dungeon for the rest of your life and deprive you of liberty, but I cannot abrogate your agency.

Amen. I can put a gun to your head and tell you to marry someone and you still have the agency to choose to go along with it or not (even if choosing to not go along with it is ineffectual at preventing it). Not that the fact that you still have your agency would make such an action acceptable (IMHO), but while the agency of others (and ourselves) can restrict the ways in which we might exercise our agency, they don't remove agency from us.

[bluedreams]

When I was younger and in high school, I would have said 23 because it sounded far enough away.

Now that I'm 23, I'd say 24 or 25 because It's close enough to be feasible but not too close. (I wouldn't mind marrying at 23, but since I'm not dating someone seriously that doesn't seem likely). At the least, I prefer boys and girls to be over 20... I know some happy very young couples that married before that. But it still creeps me out in part cuz I remember myself at that age.

As for men around the same ages.

[prisonchaplain]

Originally Posted by Onhech

prisonchaplain - Thanks for your incites, the national averages (US) 28.4 for men, 26.5 for women so it seems that the evangelical community fairly accurately mirrors national averages. I (unmarried) am a supporter of younger marriages (early 20's) for several reasons. Do you feel that the age you got married was your ideal prisionchaplain or would you have preferred younger(if you met the right person, your wife and things were as they were when you were 31)?

Generally speaking, 31 is too old. On your survey I put 24-m/22-f. This way, both could have finished college and had a couple years of independence. Yet, they are young enough to plan financially, and to begin having kids--going for the big family if they want to.

31 was right for me because I spent 7 years on the mission field, and did not meet the lady who would be my intended until I was 29. However, in an ideal world, the extra seven years would have meant 1-2 more kids, and probably some better financial planning.

[Jennarator]

Originally Posted by Onhech

I am in a social statistics class and am taking a survey on LDS ideal ages to get married (though other religious perspectives are very much appreciated and are factored in). It is 8 questions and could be taken in 4 minutes. It would help me if you took it at The Marriage Ideal (convenience Version) Survey . Please take the survey BEFORE you read the thread if you are going to take it so as to avoid bias.

Note to troublemakers
I realize that the survey is restrictive and does not fit nearly anyone's beliefs about marriage - everyone is different. I have a lot of people that want a range but for the purpose and scope of the survey a singular number is required. It would be helpful if, even if you did not fully agree, you placed an ideal age (assuming that everything is perfect and feels good) that you feel would be a "good" age to get married. Most would agree 14 is generally too young and 50 too old, so I'm asking "under ideal circumstances, assuming everything is ideal at what age would be most ideal age to get married at?"

*note to admin*
If this is spam you can feel free to remove this but I just am looking to reach a large LDS audience. And I would post the results here later which would make for an interesting discussion.

I know this is close the when the spirit tells you, but my opinion is that the best age is totally different for each person. (I know I so clearified everything. )

[skippy740]

The best age to get married is when you are emotionally stable and economically secure.

[annewandering]

Free agency is definitely taken away when your choices are taken away. It is not enough to say oh you have the choice to say no even if you arent going to be able to prevent being forced. If you are forced you had no free agency.
As I recall that was satans plan.
That is hardly the topic of this thread however.

[Rockies]

Times have changed drastically in the past 50 years or so. Marriage used to mean something but even the word is being thrown aside as meaning very little. I find the worldly attitude is one of "having your cake and eating it too." You know the old sayings....you have to wear a pair of shoes for awhile to make sure they fit before you buy them!" Why have any of the responsibilites when it's easy to eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die!

I feel so sorry for the youth as they face many obstacles, such as the worry of not having a job when they finish their schooling....lots for them to think about. Many teenagers are staying and living at home longer because of certain situations preventing them from being on their own. I wish we could turn back the clock!!!

I picked 23 for a young man and 21 for a young woman as hormones are raging and to comply what many have been taught in their homes they want to do the right thing. This is just MHO, not gospel facts.

[prisonchaplain]

Originally Posted by skippy740

The best age to get married is when you are emotionally stable and economically secure.

I struggle with the "economically secure" part. What this means has been raised far too high. It used to be that young people married, lived in small apartments in blue collar neighborhoods for awhile, and worked their way up. Now, there's this idea that there needs to be money in the bank, a 3200 sq ft house, and a fat 401K before marriage can take place. By then we have folks in their mid-30s who realize they forgot something...and then the mad rush to make kids...

Yes, this is the other extreme...but I think economic stability needs defining. Stable jobs and enough income to make a start...it might be surprising how little a couple can get by on, if they are together in God's love.

[Blocky]

I picked 22 and 24 I think. Maybe it was 23 and 25. I don't think I got out of the teenage funkiness until I was about 21. Around 26 is when my husband seemed to buckle down and 'be mature'. This is enough time to get college and mission in. I'd like to be done having kids by the time I'm 30 if I got to choose (we'll see, I'm 29 now), but I do have three lovely kids now that I don't feel I had too early or in a way that overly stressed my body.

So I guess my ages are based on only my own experiences. My sister got married when she was 18 and her fiance was 19. They both changed a lot in the next year or two and it was hard for both of them.

[Dravin]

Based on the instruction of considering everything is just peachy keen ideal I voted:

Male 21, Female 22 (though maybe I should have picked 23). My reasoning? The ages are the soonest ages the respective sexes can get married and still have served a mission.