Re-marrying after a Death

[Jezebel2011]

As an aside we have an issue with an 83 year old lady in my Ward re Sealings.

Her parents were not married, in fact her Father was killed before he even knew that there was going to be a baby born.
Her Mother married someone when the baby was under a year old.

Now she has the problem that she cannot be sealed to her biological Father because her parents were not married, yet she has been sealed to her Step-Father because they were married.

When you think about the way the World has gone over the last 20/30 years with such a low rate of marriage, etc and several children within a family being born to several different Fathers, it is going to pose problems if and when those innocent children choose to become LDS since they cannot be sealed to their parents, or to siblings. It will be interesting.

[Jezebel2011]

Originally Posted by acostaroad

Hi, I'm hoping to to be enlightened on a matter. A man died in a car accident leaving behind a lovely 24 year old wife. They had no children and had been married for about 3 years. They'd had a Temple Marriage. I'm sure that one day the sister will want to remarry as she is so young now. What are the ramifications of her remarrying and raising children that she and her new husband will both love, as it relates to her first husband that she is sealed to? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

A woman whose husband has died can be remarried in the Temple and Sealed in exactly the same way as her first marriage.

See lds.org

[lyndastewarthiatt]

As a widow of four years -- I have struggled and continue to struggle with accepting the Lord's will in my life. The decision is just that -- submitting to the Lord's will - in all things. It means for me- living as He would guide me. After prayer, study and obedience according to the authority of the Holy Priesthood (maintaining Temple worthiness) you will be able to make a decision. Reasoning with the Lord (spiritually-mentally and physically) means that a decision (any descision) will be and is your choice. The Lord does know 'you' personally -He is concerned for you-His son Jesus Christ is your Savior. Of this I testify. My prayers are for you to find peace in this matter.

[anatess]

My grandmother was in her mid-20's when her husband died in World War II. She had 3 children.

A woman in the Philippines in that time had very limited means to earn a living. Her younger brother made the decision to take care of his sister and 3 children. He never married. My grandmother never re-married either. Not only that, she wore purple (their wedding colors) from that day onward until the day she died as a tribute to her husband. She loved to tell me stories about their short time together. During her later years, she got stricken with alzheimer's. She would look at her son and think he was her husband. The transformation on my grandmother's persona when she thinks she's talking/dancing with her husband is heart-breaking to watch. I wish my grand-uncle would have found love as well, but he chose to serve my grandmother and her children and I guess he is happy with that.

My grandmother is my idol. She's my role model of what eternal love is 2nd only to Jesus Christ. My grand-uncle a testament to lifelong service and sacrifice. That combination of love, service, sacrifice is a legacy they left me. I am very blessed indeed to have married my husband who I love with that same intensity. Doubly blessed because he loves me right back. I couldn't imagine a world where I'm married to somebody else - even if my husband would die before me. I wouldn't presume my husband would not marry if I die before him. It makes me sad to think about it, but he needs to do what he feels is best for him and our family.

[lyndastewarthiatt]

Dear Anatess-- What an inspiration your Grandmother is to me -- She is a woman of faith and perserverance--an incredible example for you and those of us who have read your message. Thank you --have a blessed New Year.

[Maureen]

Originally Posted by Jezebel2011

A woman whose husband has died can be remarried in the Temple and Sealed in exactly the same way as her first marriage.

See lds.org

Jezebel, could you elaborate?

M.

[merrellnet]

My wife died 10 months ago after 20 years being sealed in the temple. At 43 with 4 kids, I am eager to find a help mate to spend my time with-- not only to help with the kids, but to share love with for the 2nd half of my life. I am sealed to my first wife for eternity. I'm dating a widow who was also sealed, and it is not an easy thing to consider that I love her, but she will always be sealed to her husband. I reconcile myself knowing that God loves us and things will work out, however they may be settled in heaven.

[Gramajane]

If we go to the Bible, on this, it seems that a widow is expected to marry the next of kin, and raise up seed to her first husband.
I agree that it does not seem quite fair.
I do understand that as also in the bible, more than one wife was ok for the men, that so can a man be sealed to more than one wife, if his first wife is dead (but not if she is living).
--- On this one, I will just trust that God knows best. Personally, I doubt I could find someone I would want to be married to. There was no one before we found each other, and we have been married for more than 40 years, and I sure haven't seen anyone I would trade him for yet. --- I think I would just live a widow. Not fun, but was less stress in a lot of ways. But then I'm a lot older. I think this is one for each person involed to pray about and get their confirmation from the Holy ghost about.

[Dixielee]

This is a very interesting thread. I also am a widow. My husband died 4 years ago. It was a second marriage for both of us. His wife died shortly before I met him. We both had grown children, so that was not an issue. We were not sealed in the temple originally, but married civilly.

Even though it has been 4 years, the pain and grief is still very close to the surface. My home teacher recently mentioned that I would want a companion at some point. I just can't imagine that time ever coming. I still wear my wedding band and I still "feel" married. Pres. Monson made reference to death at the last Conference and mentioned the deceased person was not dead, but only in another room. That is exactly how I feel!

Even though my husband had been a member, he had not gone to the temple. We were sealed a year after he died, and I find extreme comfort in that. He also very much loved his first wife and often said how much we would have liked each other. So the natural thing to do was to stand as proxy for her, so they could be sealed as well.

Every situation is different. I probably would have wanted to remarry if I was younger and of child bearing years, but I am quite content in my current state. I work full time, have wonderful friends, am in the Young Women's presidency and am Ward Chorister, so I am certainly not bored.

My prayers go out to all who have lived through the death of a companion. No one could have ever prepared me for how difficult it has been. The sure knowledge of eternal life is such a blessing and is what keeps me going day by day.

[Rabboni]

I don't think I would want my wife after the resurrection if I knew that she had been involved sexually with another man after my death. I don't think I'd be able to cope with that image.