making sense of the none ideal

penguinwars · #1 (**permalink**) 02-10-2013, 01:46 AM

New here. I mostly come seeking information regarding second marriages. But I’m not quite at that spot yet. I think it would be nice to know how long the whole process takes to get a marriage cancellation if I were to be sealed in the temple again. Also, advice on how soon one should get remarried. I've been separated for 4 years now and divorced for just a year. I have 3 children. I maybe am reaching out to anyone that may be or who has been in similar situations. Been dating a man for just 4 months now but have talked about getting serious. Life is a bit of a roller-coaster. Not that it is a bad thing.

Jennarator · #2 (**permalink**) 02-15-2013, 03:22 PM

I was divorced and re-married all in a year. So most of that is up o you. Been waiting for three and a half years for the cancellation. I know of some people that it takes a couple weeks. It really all depends on you, your "other" and the Lord, and your bishop. Pray hard and you'll know what's right.....I'm still waiting to be sealed and it looks like it'll be another year and a half.....

Backroads · #3 (**permalink**) 02-15-2013, 04:27 PM

As for getting married, I don't think there's ever an exact time frame across the board. If you feel ready, go for it.

As for the cancellation, get on it. Since you're the lady here, you might be encouraged to wait until there are real marriage plans. But once those are in place, speak to your bishop. It was not even two weeks since sticking the paperwork in the mailbox for my husband to get his sealing clearance, but it can take some time to get that paperwork done, especially if the bishops are new to the process. Like Jennarator said, who knows how long it can take? Your best bet is to do what you can to get everything in motion.

penguinwars · #4 (**permalink**) 05-01-2013, 06:09 PM

After not getting responses for a few days I never check for replies again. Thank you for the support and advice. Been 7 months now. I'm ready to jump in the water now. New man is crazy amazing and I am so excited to get a second chance. --not that I blame myself for the first one.
That said, not looking forward at all to this whole process of sealing cancellation.
situation OF COURSE is complicated. yet in some way probably better than many. ex I am sure will be supportive and compliant. There was adultery, mental and financial abuse. I'm not sure how much was admitted to old bishop. It was almost 5 years ago.

Should i contact him and remind him about who we were?

But, I do have a older daughter from a previous previous relationship that I was never sealed to in the first marriage. I'm hoping to be sealed to her this time in this relationship. She is 9 now, she will want it too, yet I have not asked her about it yet.....

Also, just wondering if mental illnesses have effect on approval much or not. Ex ended up being held on a few occasions due to suicidal threats and was diagnosed a few times with a few different illnesses. ... I'm not sure which are really true.

penguinwars · #5 (**permalink**) 05-01-2013, 06:23 PM

Also, how unrealistic am I being to think I can get married in a reasonable amount of time if I'm waiting for this all to happen?
I know that I don't want to get married civilly first. For one, being 33 and his first marriage I know it is important to him. second, I know that your request gets put a bit on the "back burner" if you end up getting married civilly first.
I know I can't set a date in temple until it is approved, .. sounds like craziness to me. won't have a date for many month, then once that letter comes can you jump right into it easily?