My girlfriend is going on a mission.

[Brando112747]

My girlfriend got her mission call 3 weeks ago and doesn't leave till the beginning of August. I am excited for her and have been supporting her. Even gave her a little gift basket of stuff from her country. Problem is I feel like she's severing ties because of her mission. We've only been dating 2 months, but I feel like I could marry this girl. When you know you know. We haven't talked about it. I don't want to scare her off and I'm not sure she's ready to be married. Not entirely sure I am either, but I feel I could be in a year or so. If she does go I feel I could wait for her, but I'm worried we won't even be dating that long. I know she likes me, I just think the mission has gone to her head not to be serious with anyone.
I want to say something, but I'm afraid if I do that it will be over.
Any advice is much appreciated. I hope this all makes sense.

[pam]

Of course the mission has gone to her head. She is doing what she feels is something she needs to do. Her thoughts SHOULD be on her mission and not with starting or developing a love relationship at this time.

[Backroads]

Clearly, mission is her priority right now. I suppose you could take a chance and propose, but if neither of you are sure on marriage you should just let her serve the Lord, be a good letter-writer, take some time to persue your own life, and let the relationship go where it will when she gets back.

[Eowyn]

For some reason I'm imagining that her name is Stella.

[dahlia]

I'm curious - can a person decline a mission? If the OP proposed and his girlfriend said yes before she went to the MTC, could she decline to go? I assume that once you're in the MTC all bets (or proposals) are off.

What if you just got cold feet - can you decline? Does the Church make you sign anything when you agree to go, but before you go to the MTC? Do you sign at the MTC?

[Eowyn]

Originally Posted by dahlia

I'm curious - can a person decline a mission? If the OP proposed and his girlfriend said yes before she went to the MTC, could she decline to go? I assume that once you're in the MTC all bets (or proposals) are off.

What if you just got cold feet - can you decline? Does the Church make you sign anything when you agree to go, but before you go to the MTC? Do you sign at the MTC?

A mission is 100% choice, from start to finish. A missionary can pull out at any time without any discipline or anything like that. That's not to say there might not be a social stigma, but that's on the shoulders of the people who put themselves in a place to judge.

My nephew put in his papers, got his call, and had a date to report. He asked for a little longer and they gave him 6 more months before he had to report. Then he got engaged and cancelled, or whatever it is you do. He was happily married in the temple.

Another nephew reported to the MTC and left a week later. He just decided he didn't want to do it after all. He has some anxiety and OCD issues. Even though he had counseling and medications prescribed and was cleared to return about 2 months after he left, he elected not to go back.

It's always a choice. No one should be forcing or coercing a missionary to serve. Service without love is slavery.

[Roseslipper]

i think its great that shes going on a mission.

[Vort]

Originally Posted by Eowyn

For some reason I'm imagining that her name is Stella.

You mean Starla?

[Brando112747]

Isn't it true girls are supposed to get married instead of a mission? I think I've heard that multiple times.

[pam]

Perhaps years and years ago that was more of the norm. But these days, more and more young women are choosing to serve a mission. Especially now that the age requirement has been lowered to 19.