Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

[ruthiechan]

Originally Posted by Islander

Unfortunately the ONLY antidote for that kind of active opposition is TIME. I just imagine what a new wife and baby can do in a situation like this. but you have to make time during the week to have them arund, do stuff, tell them as to reassure them. Explain that although a divorce took place it was the adults not being able to solve their differences and not the children. Debunk that theory about the "competition" since it is not true is important. Give them time 1-on-1 as to chat about what's going on.

I would call them every day even a few minutes just to check. Text them, find stuff they find interesting and send it tot them. Do geanology and if they are 12 arrange to go to the Temple with them.

You are going to have to do constantly do damage control by insisting they got o church on Sunday. You may have to arrange for somebody to pick them up and YOU may have to go and pick them up some times and attend with them. I vaguely remember early in the year during our Stake Conference in the Priesthood session stats about this very issue being discussed. Something like 70% of those that divorce and remarry away from the church with small children only 5% find their way back to the church. The odds are not good.

You may have to go and visit with a family and marriage counselor to give you professional advise and a play by play book of dealing with these issues.

My heart goes out to you.

Whoa.
Yes, definitely, listen to this man. That was powerful Islander. Thank you.

[prospectmom]

but please don't let the what if's anf the statisitics get you down......... think positive.... be proactive ............ be involved any way you can as much as you can..... Pray............... smile and know the lord will not give you more than you can handle........ ever......

[KuriChan]

One of the best quotes I have ever heard is

"Let repentance take care of yesterday and let faith take care of tomorrow, live today by the Spirit"

[prospectmom]

Very good Kuri

[unixknight]

Just a side note: If you want to know what my new baby daughter looks like, take a look at Dolly-Mama's avatar on the Help with Baby thread

[checkerboy]

So because my situation and yours are so similar just with younger kids on my part I wanted to say that the last few days I have been trying to talk to my boys at night on the phone and they haven't wanted to talk to me. Is it frustrating? Yes. But I am gonna keep calling them every day even if they just tell me I don't want to talk tonight. They need to know that I am always gonna be there for them. I think that is the one thing, as fathers that don't get primary time with our kids, we can do. I know it sucks now but 10 years from now they will remember that I never stopped calling.

[MrNirom]

My heart goes out to you.

My ex and her boyfriend put a wedge between my children and me.

When she died in 2000 from cervical cancer.. I had to fight the boyfriend for custody of my children. This was when they were 11, 13, 15. My 11 year old (who is now 19) still wants nothing to do with me.

My prayers are with you.

[prospectmom]

Because of hearing about all your stories ( ones like it ) and living through my mothers version,,, bad....... when I divorced I bent over backwards to not be that kind of X............ It was hard but worked............. Keep working towards the positive...... For yourselves and the kids

[unixknight]

Since I'll be picking up my eldest tomorrow morning for a brief weekend visit I'll have plenty of time with him on the long drive back and forth to talk about these issues.

Now if I can get similar 1 on 1 time with the ot hers on a regular basis, I think we'll be alright.

[prospectmom]

Just know that your children will remember all you do all the positives and if you are honorable they will see it ... may take awhile but it will work out