With the children gone

RainofGold · #1 (**permalink**) 10-02-2008, 11:56 PM

WITH THE CHILDREN GONE
Here’s something to think about during the holidays
The house is very quiet now, with the children gone.
No one is here to listen to bedtime stories, with the children gone.
Sesame Street, Barney, and Scoobee Do are missing, with the children gone.
There is no homework help to do, with the children gone.
Trips in the car occur without arguing, with the children gone.
Extra hugs within me go unused, with the children gone.
Board games stay in the cupboard and gather dust, with the children gone.
Holidays and birthdays come and go without fanfare, with the children gone.
Beds are made, floors picked up and the bathroom is clean, with the children gone.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner occur without excitement, with the children gone.
Softball, little league, soccer and basketball are over, with the children gone.
Afternoons in the park occur without us, with the children gone.
My lap goes unused, with the children gone.
The church pew beside me is empty, with the children gone.
SMALL WORRIES become BIG WORRIES, with the children gone.
During this holiday season and especially at this time of life,
Enjoy your children while you can.

Before you know it-Your house will be very quiet,
WITH THE CHILDREN GONE.

Palerider · #2 (**permalink**) 10-03-2008, 07:02 AM

I can relate to that a little bit....thanks for sharing...

mightynancy · #3 (**permalink**) 10-03-2008, 03:36 PM

I'm not sure I love that poem...

I'm too pooped to be poetic, but what about the joys of having one's children grown? Grandchildren, quiet and reflective Sunday afternoons, volunteering time, a creative endeavor uninterrupted, pride as our grown children pursue career and family, time to be a couple...

The extra, unused hugs can be given to one's spouse, the neighborhood children, the kids at the school where you volunteer. Ditto the dust-gathering board games (or donate them for pete's sake!). If the pew is empty next to you, go sit by someone.

I think it's happier to enjoy each stage as it comes, without pining for the past nor being impatient for the future.

BenRaines · #4 (**permalink**) 10-03-2008, 04:37 PM

I have enjoyed every stage and enjoy having grandchildren and adult children that I can just visit with. Raising the children I felt that my role was to be a parent. Now that they are adults I can be a best friend.

I have a great relationship with all four children, three daughters and a son. 31-25.

Ben Raines

RainofGold · #5 (**permalink**) 10-03-2008, 05:23 PM

[quote=mightynancy;266762]I'm not sure I love that poem...

Well it depends how you see it. I'm still raising my children and when I read this poem I was thinking of my own children of the days that I complained of the dirty bathroom, the homework not being done, or the kids fighting in the back of the car. And I guess I will try to enjoy my children more, hug them more and complain a little less less.

Rain

mightynancy · #6 (**permalink**) 10-04-2008, 12:57 AM

I see where you're coming from... but the poem reminds me a little bit of "eat your dinner! There are children starving in Africa!" Enjoy this now! There's pain ahead! You'll be sorry!

I have often wondered if it's just my personality, or my being an "older" parent that makes me nostalgic for the present. I'm still raising my kids too (they're 13 and 7), and I don't find myself guilty of wishing away a single day of it. I enjoy each stage to its fullest, and embrace the next! When they're ready to fly, I plan no regrets.

My sister is a younger parent (I'm way older than she is, LOL)...what do you think, Siouxz? You're a pretty in-the-present sort of mom, too. Maybe we were just raised on the sunny side of the street when it comes to enjoying the kiddos. ?

siouxz72 · #7 (**permalink**) 10-14-2008, 10:39 PM

Hey Schmancypants! I just saw this thread...and you know, I agree. You are way older than me! yuck yuck yuck! Thank you I'll be here all week..

No, really... I think we heard from our parents how much they were enjoying us during each of the stages so then that's influenced us in the way we parent. And while I am a much "younger" mom than you I definitely am enjoying every second of every minute with my kids and have not wished away a single second. Even when they drive me bonkers. (I know, it's hard for you to imagine Katie driving anyone bonkers, but she does... she's so just like me it's unnerving)

mightynancy · #8 (**permalink**) 10-14-2008, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siouxz72

(I know, it's hard for you to imagine Katie driving anyone bonkers, but she does... she's so just like me it's unnerving)

She could do worse.

Please tell me she's coming to visit me again this summer! She is SO stinkin' cute, and fun, and helpful (seriously, that's one capable girl!)...she's a joy. Just like her mom!

fish4kitty · #9 (**permalink**) 10-25-2008, 06:02 PM

I try to appreciate every day with our 4 children all still home. I to as I get older don't wish my life away. Every day is something new. I do believe I will be ready for the next stage in my life. It will be (hopefully) just an extention of my current one. Filled with little ones pulling my beard and asking to go fishing.

Elgama · #10 (**permalink**) 10-25-2008, 06:14 PM

mine are 5 and 2 and not quite here yet so still very much raising them but I understand where mightynancy is coming from - I often wonder if there is something wrong with me that I have no huge desire for my children to develop faster or slower than they do. ( well except I could live without the pregnant bit lol) - I much prefer my children when they can talk and walk, and don't want them to be babies. I think CS Lewis said something along the lines of as parents we are raising our children to the point they no longer need us - its a compliment when they choose to return but they don't need us. I want my kids to move out to be independent and be truly fulfilled in their lives its what I became a parent for. I want to be able to listen to church services again, and go to the toilet without one child sitting on my knee another whining from the door, the cat rubbing my legs and the dog licking me. As much as I get joy from my children now I get more joy everyday as I get to know them better, they grow more beautiful and spend time with me - I remember an article from one of my teenage pinups (he was a very old odd choice lol but very wise) - he said he appreciated his children somehow even more as they grew older and he could relate to them, I've carried that with me since I was 15

Personally I am looking forward to getting older and having more time with my hubby again - I am even more in love with him than I was 6 years ago and I miss him when he is at work, quiet time with him is a long way off but it is something that one day we will have - hopefully we will have grandchildren, or missions etc that can occupy that season in our lives as fully as children do this one.

-Charley