Mothers of Young Children Need Time to Recharge

[Wingnut]

Today's "Dear Abby" column was great. I thought it needed to be shared.

MOTHERS OF YOUNG CHILDREN NEED 'TIME OUT' TO RECHARGE - Yahoo! News

[TheyCallMeMom]

I especially liked what Margie in Rochester had to say here..

"When they were babies and toddlers, they played while I pursued my interests, hobbies and chores. While I sewed, they played with fabric and ribbons. While I cooked, they played at my feet with pots, pans and spoons. While I did yard work, they played in the sandbox."

esp when you are outnumbered

[applepansy]

Wing, Thank you for posting the article. I enjoyed reading it. I worked when I had small children but thoroughly enjoyed the days I had with them. There were occassoins when I found myself wishing my life away though.

Now?
I think I need a thread that is titled "Mom's of adult children need time to recharge"



Screaming isn't helping. LOL

applepansy

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

And if you have a new kid, and a clueless hubby who seems to be missing these points, work out something where he watches the new kid for 3-4 hours. You'll come back to a guy with a dose of newfound respect for your workload.

(At least one of these every 6 months did it for me..)

LM

[Honor]

Suggesting that women are good mothers only if they are constantly enthralled with children's activities sets them up for feelings of failure and inadequacy.

I've learned this the hard way. Also the fact that I can't count on anyone else to give me the time I deserve - I need to plan it and take it. I thought that claiming it for myself was selfish and I hoped that my husband would take care of me in that respect (you mean they don't know what we want/need without us telling them?! I know, stupid of me...) but it just didn't happen.

I've heard people say things like, "Take care of yourself to take care of others", "If Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy", "Secure your oxygen mask before assisting those around you", and I thought, "Well DUH!" But when it came time to do it myself.....
There are things that you think you know, but really don't until you live it.

Anyway, thanks Wing. Too true!

[Alana]

I love reading while my kids play. It means that if they need (or even just want) something from me, I'm right there. We spend hours on our deck playing while I read.

I've just started going out with my friends again without the kids. It's been nice. It does feel like a recharge. I'm grateful for a husband who wants me to go have a good time and has just as much fun as I do with the kids.

A few things I really like to do with the kids that they enjoy also, even though not done in standard kid fashion are these things:

Dance parties. We forgo any song that sounds like it belongs on Barney. I blast techno music and we turn off the lights and use glow sticks. If our neighbors are home when this happens (at least once a week) they run down and join us. My son is an awesome dancer.

Zombie drills. I like zombies. Sometimes we pretend zombies are coming and crawl around the house on our hands and knees. To be fair, my kids seem to be a lot less afraid of the dark then I was as a kid, so it's not messing them up psychologically (well not too much.)

[Jenamarie]

Love the zombie drills. My dad used to play a game with me and my siblings called "rigormortis" (nice, child-friendly name, huh? ). He'd lay on the floor then raise one of his limbs up into the air, and we had to try and push it back down, but of course it would be really stiff (rigormortis ) and we'd sometimes have to practically hang from his ankles to pull his leg down, or sit on his arm to lower it. Maybe that's why graveyards don't creep me out.

But on topic... when I saw the title of this thread I thought "Duh!" I'm also thankful that I have a husband who understands that I need a day out every once in a while. He goes on week-long business trips about 4-5 times a year, and the first Saturday after he gets home (sometimes his trips span a weekend) I get to have a "day out" where I can spend the entire day out of the house. He also doesn't complain about my going shopping or to the library without the kids on nights when he doesn't have a lot of homework (he's currently in school). It's really amazing how refreshing that time is for me, and I really feel that I'm a better mother because of that kid-free time.

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

Rigormortis - gotta try that one. When I get home, we have 10-20 minutes of "Oof Daddy", which basically consists of me sitting there getting jumped on by two giggly girls.

[tanuvasamama]

Rigimortis and oof daddy...I love it! My dad plays games like those still with my kids! Gotta love daddy/grandpa involvement!

I agree that sometimes it's hard to remember to take time out for yourself. I've been blessed with a husband who encourages it, but in the earlier years I didn't take him up on it often. Now, 5 kids later, I jump at the chance! Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids, but I DO need my time out!

[pam]

Originally Posted by applepansy

Wing, Thank you for posting the article. I enjoyed reading it. I worked when I had small children but thoroughly enjoyed the days I had with them. There were occassoins when I found myself wishing my life away though.

Now?
I think I need a thread that is titled "Mom's of adult children need time to recharge"



Screaming isn't helping. LOL

applepansy

Or moms of teenagers