Keeping tabs on kids' computer use

[mightynancy]

Originally Posted by Captain_Curmudgeon

This thread makes me sad. I can sympathize with your various situations but as a parenting method this is very sad.

I tell my kids to put their helmets on before they go out biking...but I still look out the window to make sure they've obeyed. By this time, they are already in the street. If I find they haven't complied, I call them back in to get the helmets on.

With the computer, we have it in a public area of the house. My son gets home a few minutes before I do...if he must be online, I check up on his activity. When I'm home and he's online, I regularly walk by to see what he's looking at.

How is it sad to instruct, then check up on the kids? I don't get it...please explain, Captain! Or are you sad about the differing values in the kids' two homes?

[LittleWyvern]

Originally Posted by mightynancy

I tell my kids to put their helmets on before they go out biking...but I still look out the window to make sure they've obeyed. By this time, they are already in the street. If I find they haven't complied, I call them back in to get the helmets on.

Using your analogy, logging every email, website, and instant message is like not only checking on your children, but following them everywhere you go, standing right next to them at all times no matter what they do or how trustworthy they've proved themselves to be, and watching to see if they do anything wrong. I think a better solution for unixknight's program would be to only log instant messages, emails, and websites that match filters for questionable content. This would make your job easier, regardless (a lot less fluff to go through unless you're really good at regexes).

[RachelleDrew]

I'm confused here, are you putting this system on the computers in your ex-wife's house?

How is this NOT illegal?

[mightynancy]

No, LilWy, it's checking up after the fact. If your analogy were correct, I'd be riding on the bikes, holding the helmet atop wee heads.

[LittleWyvern]

Originally Posted by mightynancy

No, LilWy, it's checking up after the fact. If your analogy were correct, I'd be riding on the bikes, holding the helmet atop wee heads.

That's true in a sense, but it's still an always-watching-and-waiting scenario, no matter how indirectly.

[Gwen]

will the kids know this system is in place?

[mightynancy]

LilWy, it's part of being a parent. I can't effectively tell them "Wash your hands," or "If you're on wheels, you must have a helmet on your head!" or "Be careful on the Internet" just one time and have it stick. It's relentless as much for me as it is for them. While they are under my stewardship, it is my obligation to check up on them and help them correct their course when necessary.

[RachelleDrew]

Originally Posted by mightynancy

LilWy, it's part of being a parent. I can't effectively tell them "Wash your hands," or "If you're on wheels, you must have a helmet on your head!" or "Be careful on the Internet" just one time and have it stick. It's relentless as much for me as it is for them. While they are under my stewardship, it is my obligation to check up on them and help them correct their course when necessary.

I think we all get that.

But putting a big brother system in the computers at your ex wife's house is nuts. I still want someone to explain to me how it's not illegal.

[mightynancy]

Well, I don't have an ex-wife, so I wouldn't know.

[Gwen]

if the computers belong to the kids, are only used by the kids and they have equal parenting rights then i'd think he does have the right (just like any other parent). he would not have a right to put something like that on the wife's computer or "the family computer" at her house.