Breastfeeding in LDS Meetings

[maureenjscott]

Hi. I was having a wonderfully spiritual testimony meeting until my husband and I were called into the Bishop's office after our meetings.

I have a 13week old baby boy. I have breastfed him since he was hours old and for the past 13 weeks I have nursed him during RS meetings on a Sunday, RS activities, Sunday school class, Sacrament meeting (after the Sacrament part of the meeting ie during talks), Stake RS activities, and, as i'm a counsellor in primary, have nursed him during primary. The so-called 'Mother's Lounge' in our building is about the size of a toilet cubicle, attached to the ladies toilets. It has a sink, mirror, fold out changing table and a small fold down 'seat'. Basically making me feel like i'm relegated to a cupboard so I have not used this 'room' for feeding my son.

I am discreet, I sit as far back in the room as possible. I have a 9yo son and 4yo daughter also and so need to be there for them during Sacrament meeting. I live in Scotland and the Law of the Land here states that any person feeding their child by bottle or breast up to the age of 2 cannot be asked to leave, move, stop or cover up - anyone attempting to do this is liable to be fined approx £2500.

I have been a member for 8 years, sealed to my family for almost 5. I think of the members as my family. I have fed all of my children in numerous places over the years - restaurants, buses, trains, parks, cinemas, anywhere we have been and they have needed fed I have done so discreetly and without any fuss or issues from anyone.

Imagine today my shock to be asked by my Bishop to stop feeding my son during meetings!

Are there any sisters out there reading this who can shed some light on practices in your country/stake/ward/branch? Does anyone have any advice on how this could be handled?
Both my husband and I have scoured the internet looking for the Church's take on this and what we can find is that mother's are supported and indeed encouraged by the Church to breastfeed - there are no guidelines as to where or when or how this should be done.

Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks for reading this
maureen

[JasonK]

Well, firstly, it's not wise to try and fault with bishop's council. I am sure his request for the comfort of those around. Secondly, here in the States, when women breastfeed, they tend to cover up with a blanket over the child and shoulder. I live with my brother and his wife who is now breastfeeding. She covers when I am in the room. I don't know if you are covering up or not. But I can tell you, that if you are not, from a male perspective, there will be a few teenage boys that might be more willing to offer you the sacrament when you are breastfeeding. No matter how beautiful the act of nursing is, it still exposes a body part that can excite young boys (and older) However, if you are indeed covering up with a blanket over your child and shoulder, I don't see the problem. We may not agree with what are bishops say, but it is our responsibility to listen and heed their council. He may have a perspective on the matter that you don't. Some people may have complained about the act. He needs to take the concerns of others in consideration. The last thing we need is our priesthood holders to lose the spirit of the sacrament over an exposed breast.

[Honor]

I'm never very good with confrontation, but I do have strong opinions on breastfeeding. I always used a blanket, and tried to be very discreet, but even that is not required by law. Thankfully I usually found myself in nursing friendly crowds, and I was never asked to change my practices in church or any other public setting. For the most part I've found that other members in wards I've been in hold a similar opinion. If anyone didn't, it was likely they had never had children. I would respectfully hold my ground, although I don't really know the proper way to go about things should the bishop insist.

[Elgama]

I am quite frankly shocked, I am also in Scotland its not the US, and it is an entirely normal sight here to see women feeding their babies. I have also fed my children in all manner of places with nothing but the odd positive comment. Anyone who feels uncomfortable is the one because of the law who should leave.

I don't know what I would do to be honest, like you our Mother's Lounge is in the baby changing room at the back of the ladies toilets (I have my own issues with it being attached to the ladies lol) I refused to feed my baby there, I often fed them in RS and Gospel Doctrine - not in sacrament but only because it was nap time and I felt the classroom at the back of the chapel was quieter.

I am having my own issues right now so not a good person to ask otherwise.

[Elgama]

Originally Posted by JasonK

Well, firstly, it's not wise to try and fault with bishop's council. I am sure his request for the comfort of those around. Secondly, here in the States, when women breastfeed, they tend to cover up with a blanket over the child and shoulder. I live with my brother and his wife who is now breastfeeding. She covers when I am in the room. I don't know if you are covering up or not. But I can tell you, that if you are not, from a male perspective, there will be a few teenage boys that might be more willing to offer you the sacrament when you are breastfeeding. No matter how beautiful the act of nursing is, it still exposes a body part that can excite young boys (and older) However, if you are indeed covering up with a blanket over your child and shoulder, I don't see the problem. We may not agree with what are bishops say, but it is our responsibility to listen and heed their council. He may have a perspective on the matter that you don't. Some people may have complained about the act. He needs to take the concerns of others in consideration. The last thing we need is our priesthood holders to lose the spirit of the sacrament over an exposed breast.

err doesn't need to expose anything, I am more than capable of breastfeeding my children minus blanket without even a slither of flesh showing. All it takes is a vest top underneath, And given as she is in Scotland most people are used to seeing Mums feeding babies, like my husband said it was a bit surprising at first but now its normal. I personally believe the blanket is less discreet and my babies hated being covered. If you breastfeed quietly in the chapel only the people close to you will notice, if you cover up everyone knows what you are doing.

I am of the firm belief if a man can't control his thoughts he should be the one disturbing his sacrament. Mother's have a hard enough time when dealing with young children feeling the spirit at meetings and being edified. I bet that priesthood holder has probably happily sat through two meetings having his needs met.

But having said that I have found teenage American missionaries from large families the most relaxed about me feeding my children, as they have seen it before.

[Wingnut]

I have to say I'm with your bishop. The mother's room at my building is attached to the back of the Relief Society room and is actually the size of a small classroom, big enough that there are four comfortable armchairs in it. When I was breastfeeding my daughter, there were at least seven or eight other breastfeeding moms in the ward, and our scheduled often seemed to overlap. There were days when I nursed my daughter while sitting on the floor in that room, because all the chairs were occupied. It wasn't the end of the world. I have a friend whose daughter drank breast milk, but refused to nurse, so my friend sat in a bathroom stall pumping, then went and fed her daughter. It wasn't the end of the world.

I've nursed in a large group room during Relief Society meetings on Sunday or during Relief Society activities, but only after asking the people immediately around me if they were comfortable with it. Whether the breast is a sexual object or a source of food, it may still be offensive or -- at the very least -- distracting to many when in a public and religious setting. I think it is a modesty issue and that for the consideration of others in that particular setting, that you should remove yourself to another location. If you don't want to use the mother's room, find a different classroom. Unless your husband is in the bishopric or frequently absent due to a stake calling, there shouldn't be any reason why he can't manage your other two children while you feed your baby.

All that said, I don't know what to say about your situation with regards to the local law and apparent violation of it.

[MarginOfError]

If what your bishop says violates the law, it needs to be brought to his attention and the law should be heeded.

I have strong feelings about breast feeding, and about infant care in general. I would be very hesitant to tell a woman that she had to leave the chapel to nurse an infant. Instead, I think it's fair to make arrangements for her to sit in a location that will be both comfortable and as minimally distracting as possible. I also think it's fair to ask her to cover up (in the US--that's our culture). But under no circumstances should a woman have to miss participation in any part of Sacrament meeting in order to nurse her child.

[pam]

Nursing in the chapel

http://www.lds.net/forums/open-discu...t-meeting.html

Here are a couple of other threads that have discussed the breast feeding issue.

[gabelpa]

Oh Noes! Boobies!

At least that seems to be the response I am seeing here. The Bishop was, by Scottish Law, out of line and that is all that matters. It's your right to Breast Feed, exercise it.

[Gwen]

i would ask the bishop why he was bringing it up. did someone complain? if so what was the complaint? is it just him? does he know the law? etc. just open a line of discussion with him. you don't have to know who on a complaint, you can't address something you don't know what it is.