Spanking

[Fiannan]

Any quotes from LDS authorities on the matter? My wife is totally against spanking while I am in favor of it being an option in limited circumstances. I believe the Church has the position more in line with use it sparingly, while my wife believes the Church is totally against it.

So does anyone have some light to shed?

[StrawberryFields]

We never really believed in spanking as punishment. Occasionally I think there may have been a swat or two as an attention getter when they were in danger like touching the stove. We used time outs as a form of punishment and loss of privilege as they got older. I have also learned to think about why children are misbehaving. Sometimes they just want a parents attention and negative attention is better then no attention at all. I also learned that sometimes my boys would fight right in front of me and if I told them to take it out on the lawn...that I didn't want blood on MY carpets the battle would end. When they were really young and I would see them fight I would stop what ever I was doing and run and hide. Pretty soon we would all be laughing and the fight was over as they came looking for their strange mom. Sometimes I would make them sing silly songs that I had made up to fit the "crime". Sometimes I would make them stand on one leg for a few minutes just to break the pattern. It would most likely be done two at a time and they would laugh at each other.

I have learned that overall CBG method works very well for everyone in our family. CBG stands for Caught Being Good.

[Ray]

I don’t think we should spank children because they’re too young to enjoy it.

Ba da bump.

But seriously.

I once spanked a child who did seem to enjoy it, because he kept asking for more.

Ba da bump.

Seriously though. I get no respect. No respect I tell you.

Why, when I was a child, I’d had to wait my turn in a corner before getting a spanking.

And not a very good one at that.

But after I talked to my parents, we got it all worked out.

[StrawberryFields]

I don’t think we should spank children because they’re too young to enjoy it.

Ba da bump.

But seriously.

I once spanked a child who did seem to enjoy it, because he kept asking for more.

Ba da bump.

Seriously though. I get no respect. No respect I tell you.

Why, when I was a child, I’d had to wait my turn in a corner before getting a spanking.

And not a very good one at that.

But after I talked to my parents, we got it all worked out.
[/b]

ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!

Who stole our ole buddy Ray? This has got to be an imposter!!!

[Ray]

<div class='quotemain'>
I don’t think we should spank children because they’re too young to enjoy it.

Ba da bump.

But seriously.

I once spanked a child who did seem to enjoy it, because he kept asking for more.

Ba da bump.

Seriously though. I get no respect. No respect I tell you.

Why, when I was a child, I’d had to wait my turn in a corner before getting a spanking.

And not a very good one at that.

But after I talked to my parents, we got it all worked out.
[/b]

ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!

Who stole our ole buddy Ray? This has got to be an imposter!!!
[/b][/quote]
Heh, no, I wasn't serious. I was trying to be funny.

And btw, I will dedicate the above to Rodney, even though I wasn't quoting him, as far as I know.

[Traveler]

At any level of justice one must recognize that both positive and negative reinforcement (incentives) need to be employed. For all that I have read and experienced I am not convinced that spanking is either effective or unless. I think that one can justify what-ever their course. For the most part I do not think that parents are that much worse at being parents than children are at being children – that is with some exceptions. There are other issues that I think are more important or that I did wrong with my children.

1.Using chores as punishment.
2. Planning for them to have more leisure time than chores.
3. Putting them on the spot to lie when the truth would be difficult.
4. Not knowing the difference between teaching and training of children and not knowing when or which to employ.
5. Thinking that as parents you are the only influence in their lives that will (or can) really make a difference.
6. Attempting to spare them from “foolish” dreams that are likely beyond their reach. (Being the one to tell them they do not have what it takes to succeed at some given task – even if they don’t.)
7. Trying to make anything better for them without their knowing or participation.
8. Not making sure they know and understand what love is by your example.

Personally I think that any of the above can be more damaging to children than a spanking that is underserved or abusive. Do not take me wrong and think I condone abusing children with harsh physical punishments; extreams and excesses are always a problem – It is just that I think that so many parents think they are better than some other parents just because they do not spank or physically push their children and then to 50 other things that harm their children in other ways.

Spanking or not spanking is not the worse problem parents must face in raising children. I am personally concerned with the parent that think that it is.

The Traveler

[oaf1984]

As I child I prefered spanking to other forms of punishment. Simply because spanking was quick. It sucked when I got spanked AND given chores to do though.

I think that spanking is ok in rare circumstances with certain children.

When I mean rare, I really mean it, like a handfull of times in a childhood.

ex.

If I child gets so wound up that he/she cannot properly communicate or receive communication, and is being excessively violent to the point where they are a danger to themselves. They might need a spanking.

I feel in times like these a good swat, not overly hard, can shock them into reality.

Obviously, this will not always work and depends on the child.

Again, if it is not rare, then they get used to it, and it is less effective.

[Heather]

I grew up being spanked, and I know all it did was cause me to be afraid of my dad and I would lie/hide things from him. When I did something wrong, I would resent him for the punishment, instead of blaming myself for my actions. I think if you use corporal punishment with a child who is being violent, it sends the message that hitting is okay. I also think that when you're angry, you can take spanking too far if you do it in the moment.

[prisonchaplain]

Spanking is wrong on several levels. First, it doesn't work.[/b]

While it may not work with your parenting style, to point-blank declare that it does not work, too quickly condemns what did indeed work for millenia. The Bible does not merely "condone" phsyical discipline--it calls for it. Is corporal punishment necessary for all parents in all situations? Of course not. On the other hand, to declare it 100% wrong is too strong, imho.

Second, it teaches one thing: When you are frustrated with the behavior of another, physical agression is appropriate.[/b]

No, it teaches that if you are disobedient, rebellious, and not mindful of the law, there can be physicall painful consequences. Little ons get spanked, big ones go to prison.

kids that get hit, learn to hit, not how to behave. Kids only learn how to behave by seeing adults they respect behave well, and by feeling secure in their relationships with those adults.[/b]

I would argue that spanking, properly done, can foster trust in adults, and teach children that physical restraint or punishment only happens in limited, properly governed circumstances.

Spanking is just a euphamism for physical agression or hitting. Just because the Bible condones it doesn't make it right or true. After all, the Bible also condones slavery, capital punishment and a bunch of other uncivilized behaviors.[/b]

The Bible deals with slavery, it does not call for it. The Bible commands capital punishment, and it does call for the physical punishment of rebellious youth. We that take the words of Scripture as being from God will grapple with how to apply them in today's world, rather than dismiss them as "uncivilized."

I would contend, however, that corporeal punishment is best carried out only rarely, as way of saying to the child, "You've really crossed the line this time!"

I don’t think we should spank children because they’re too young to enjoy it. Ba da bump. But seriously. I once spanked a child who did seem to enjoy it, because he kept asking for more. Ba da bump. Seriously though. I get no respect. No respect I tell you. Why, when I was a child, I’d had to wait my turn in a corner before getting a spanking. And not a very good one at that. But after I talked to my parents, we got it all worked out. [/b]

You know, this simple post explains just about everything I've ever wondered about you, my brother.

[Heather]

I believe everyone should have the right to parent how they choose, within reason and the law of course. I think too often these days I'm seeing parents who don't parent at all. I was at the store and a 8 year old boy climbed a rack of magazines and it fell down on him. The parents, so concerned about his injuries, wanted a camera to document it all. (Or rather saw the dollar signs in their own neglect.) If they were so concerned about his well-being, why were they letting him wander around a busy store while they were 2 aisles away?

Little ones get spanked, big ones go to prison[/b]

The irony these days though is that spanking can lead to the spanker going to jail for child abuse. And not for being abusive, per say, but because it seems to me that society as a whole is moving away from corporal punishment all together, and those engaging in it still are being frowned upon.

Spank a child = he gets mad at you = tells his friends = they tell him to call the cops, and he'll never get spanked again.