Biting

[Bini]

Okay, yes, another question slash concern.. Lol


Biting. Yesterday she bit me pretty good on the thumb. I had teeth marks. Between then and now, she's chomped down on my arm and shoulder - ouch! She is fed plenty, has enough toys. Not sure why she's biting. She is teething still but this isn't chewing behaviour - it's pure biting. I use the technique of yelping when she does this, so she knows it hurts, (this is the method for training puppies, I used to do K9 obedient classes lol) but she just looks at me and laughs, trying to latch onto me again and sink in her teeth! Little sticker.. Lol Suggestions? I figure this is fairly normal for small kids. She's almost 10 months.

[jayanna]

this is really common, I worked in daycare for about 10 years....when she bites you, dont do the surprised thing (they think it's funny) simply look her in the face and frown and set her down. Children love attention, if she does something good give her lots of attention...when she does something bad set her down and give something else your attention. She won't like that. It just takes like half a minute, you might even set her down and walk away a few steps... but come back soon. She will soon learn that when you bite someone they stop playing with you.

[annewandering]

Some kids do just bite. I like your suggestions, Jayanna. I would treat it much as you would a temper tantrum. I sure would not give her any attention, good or bad. Just frowning and walking away seem like the perfect response. We had this with one child and it took us a bit to figure out how to deal with it. Best to do it fast and clear now.
Oh you are going to hear someone say bite back so they know exactly how it feels to be bit. Yes, I know. It is as rotten of advice as it sounds but I sure heard it a lot.

[anatess]

Ah yeah. Jayanna hit the nail in the head. This is the same thing with dropping their sippy cups just to watch you come and pick it up. The dog thing doesn't work because they're still too young to recognize that your reaction was a bad one... they just see it as a reaction - which is what they are looking for.

When she gets older, I have a feeling she's going to do the same thing my sons did - turn off the TV just to see you make a ruckus and turn it back on... then when you tell them No (at the age where they're starting to understand what No means), they would wait until your back is turned and then push the off switch... just to see what you would do.

Consistency is key. React the same way to all bad behaviors - Jayanna gave a good suggestion - and she'll learn quickly to associate bad things together in one bucket - to avoid.

[Wingnut]

What I learned about biting was specifically in regard to biting a nipple while nursing, and that was to tap or gently flick the baby on/near the mouth, and firmly say "no," without any other reaction. As anatess said, consistency is the key.

Knock on wood, I haven't had to deal with that yet because my eight-month-old-this-week doesn't have any teeth yet.

[rameumptom]

Bite her back. Let her understand that biting does not feel good. For babies, sometimes it means learning from experience. If you just set her down, she'll take her biting elsewhere (other people and children), looking for a response from them.

I'm not saying you leave deep marks, just enough to get the baby's attention.

[anatess]

Originally Posted by rameumptom

Bite her back. Let her understand that biting does not feel good. For babies, sometimes it means learning from experience. If you just set her down, she'll take her biting elsewhere (other people and children), looking for a response from them.

I'm not saying you leave deep marks, just enough to get the baby's attention.

Sorry, I disagree with this. A child does not have to feel the effect of what she's doing for her to learn it is bad. Like I said - consistency in discipline leads to success. Discipline that can be applied to all situations from the time she's born to the time she's a teen-ager. If she bops you in the head with her toy frying pan, you don't need to bop her back to teach her to stop. If she gets older and she turns into a playground bully, you don't need to bully her back to teach her to stop. But, for all those situations, you can have a consistent communication method that signals to the child that she just did a bad thing - stop all play, get on your serious face, and firmly say No or Stop.

And another thing, no matter how cute that bad thing was that she did, get on your serious face and be consistent. Yes, it might be cute that she's doing the Marilyn Monroe thing and letting the electric fan flip her dress over her head... but if you laugh now and then be all serious and say Stop later, she's not going to believe you mean it.

My kids are now 8 and 10 and they can be clear across the room... when they see their dad's serious face, they behave. He doesn't have to do anything else. Yes, yes, my serious face don't work on them. It was my own fault. I'm terrible with discipline. When they were little, I used to tell them, "Just wait until Daddy comes home!". Well, that's exactly what happened. They don't listen until Daddy comes home. So yeah, don't do what I did on that...

[Bini]

Originally Posted by anatess

Sorry, I disagree with this. A child does not have to feel the effect of what she's doing for her to learn it is bad. Like I said - consistency in discipline leads to success. Discipline that can be applied to all situations from the time she's born to the time she's a teen-ager. If she bops you in the head with her toy frying pan, you don't need to bop her back to teach her to stop. If she gets older and she turns into a playground bully, you don't need to bully her back to teach her to stop. But, for all those situations, you can have a consistent communication method that signals to the child that she just did a bad thing - stop all play, get on your serious face, and firmly say No or Stop.

You know what. This line of thinking computes for me and I do agree. Funny, this is the same concept I was trained with when working in special units, and yet, it hadn't crossed my mind as being an appropriate approach for rearing my own child.. I mean, I just hadn't thought about it at all! Especially the latter in bold. Instead, I'm doing the K9 technique.. LOL



Wingnut, that was what I was taught as well. I'm not breastfeeding anymore, I wish I was still able to at this point but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. The thumb bite hurt - I can only imagine what a nipple bite would feel like! OUCHIE.

[annewandering]

Bini, it is painful and there is NO way to disguise or hide the reaction which baby finds fascinating. Little devils!!! lol just kidding.
Please dont bite the baby. Ramp I heard that advice a lot but all it does is make the baby think its ok since mom or dad did it too. or worse just tickes them off and they bite harder.

[Vort]

Originally Posted by Bini

Okay, yes, another question slash concern.. Lol


Biting. Yesterday she bit me pretty good on the thumb. I had teeth marks. Between then and now, she's chomped down on my arm and shoulder - ouch! She is fed plenty, has enough toys. Not sure why she's biting. She is teething still but this isn't chewing behaviour - it's pure biting. I use the technique of yelping when she does this, so she knows it hurts, (this is the method for training puppies, I used to do K9 obedient classes lol) but she just looks at me and laughs, trying to latch onto me again and sink in her teeth! Little sticker.. Lol Suggestions? I figure this is fairly normal for small kids. She's almost 10 months.

Are you still nursing? Sister Vort had to deal with biting babies during nursing for each of our children. She said that a violent flinch or two on her part (natural enough, obviously) was enough to teach the baby not to bite.