Multi Religous Marriage & Kids

[shanstress70]

When we got married 5 years ago she and I didn't go to church at all. It wasn't a big deal. In the past few years we both have become very active encouraging each other to practice our faith more. Then we came to the road block of childhood.

[/b]

Well that explains it, then. All I can say is good luck! I believe it is possible to have a successful marriage, but at some point someone's got to give unless your child will be baptized in both churches, and I'm not even sure either church allows such a thing.

[LT04]

Without saying it to each other (remember we were 18 & 19, when we got married) we were hoping the other would convert. If that didn't work we were going to wait out the second coming when Christ made the "Christs church of all Abraham's descendants first church and employment company."

I agree with Shan, a convert or die attitude should have died with the third crusade. Hopping that the child will be baptized at age 8 I'm afraid may also be to ambitious, thats when Catholics receive the sacrament of confirmation, where they put the same outfit on that umpteen grandparents ago had when they came over on the mayflower. (not that bad, but you get the point.) I think something very traumatic may have to occur to shake her belief system to its foundation to make a swicth. Only time will tell all I can do is keep on keeping on.

I would still like to hear from you guys / gals on the matter you have had good ideas on finding middle ground.

[shanstress70]

Any chance of you becoming Catholic? I just asked bc it seems like you came here asking questions about some issues you have with the LDS church. Perhaps there's more of a chance of you converting than there is for her?

[Maureen]

Any chance of you becoming Catholic? I just asked bc it seems like you came here asking questions about some issues you have with the LDS church. Perhaps there's more of a chance of you converting than there is for her?[/b]

I was thinking the same thing.

LT04, you have a unique relgious situation with your wife, so you ultimately will have to decide together how you will work it out. Since you are both active in your respective religions, maybe you could take turns attending church services together. That way you will both have a small perspective of each other's religions to make decisions about what you both think are important. I'm sure it will be a little difficult but not impossible.

M.

[rosie321]

LT04, you have a unique relgious situation with your wife, so you ultimately will have to decide together how you will work it out. Since you are both active in your respective religions, maybe you could take turns attending church services together. That way you will both have a small perspective of each other's religions to make decisions about what you both think are important. I'm sure it will be a little difficult but not impossible.

M.

[/quote]

I agree with Shan, a convert or die attitude should have died with the third crusade. Hopping that the child will be baptized at age 8 I'm afraid may also be to ambitious, thats when Catholics receive the sacrament of confirmation, where they put the same outfit on that umpteen grandparents ago had when they came over on the mayflower. (not that bad, but you get the point.) I think something very traumatic may have to occur to shake her belief system to its foundation to make a swicth. Only time will tell all I can do is keep on keeping on.

Your situation with your wife is unique.

So that leads me to some questions.

First are you wanting to stay with your wife and honor those commitments? Does she want you to stay with you despite your religious differences? Some marriages just cannot handle the religious divide. So far I get the impression that you both are in it for the long haul which is in accordance to what scriptures would have you to do. 1st Corinthians 7:12-16 is something for you to read. 7:14 indicates to me that your children will be protected and made holy despite a situation that could render them unclean or lost.

2nd What good is the salt if it loses the saltiness? I think you need to stay faithful to what it is you believe. I don't think that you should stop especially being that your wife is ok with it. If at some time you don't believe the LDS church is right then leave it. From what I've seen you came here with a struggle of what to do to make your less than ideal family situation right in the sights of the Lord. You also came here to vent your frustrations about the churches social aspects. Not of key doctrines or anything. That is what troubles you. Why can't you just go to your wifes church where all know your name? Where they teach good values.... But that isn't good enough for you. Inside you know there is more for you at the LDS church right now. To deny that part of you right now would do more harm ultimately for your family than good. You'd be miserable. So my advice is to stick with the church. Even if the church were to be false I think there's a lot of truth there that could benefit your family. I think you'll learn a lot of things that will bless your family than hurt it. I guess my advice would be stick to the basics in the gospel at church. Avoid those things that weigh you down and don't be overcommitted in a way that will hurt your family. Where the church is becoming priority over your family. Do good whether it be with activities that make you feel comfortable in your church or hers. or even on your own. Seek understanding with your wife. [b]Your children will be blessed by your righteous example of seeing you stick to what you think is true despite an easier path.

3rd. Your children have the ultimate choice of where and what they do. Don't think honest mistakes that you make will doom them. God knows your heart and theirs. He will not cast away desirous souls. If they are taught to listen for the Shepards voice they will hear it.

Many people join when they are older and from many different faiths. Ideally in the LDS church 8 is the magical age. But in Gods world anything is possible. Things will be worked out. Don't think all hope is gone. Lay a proper foundation for them. One in which they are taught to listen to the spirit, follow Christ.... what ever church they may be sitting in. Such are principals that will bless them greatly.

Pray for them and dedicate them to God then sit back and see what the Lord can do with that. I'm glad to see so far you have maintained that desire and hope you continue that. They will be blessed and you will be blessed. They will come out stronger in the end as they wrestle to find truth. This is your circumstance so you have to trust that God will find away for you to accomplish the thing in which he hath commanded you and led you to.

[rosie321]

I was told in the Army when I was a combat engineer that "obstacles are not going to keep us out of where we want to go. they are there to buy the person who put them there time. Obstacles are ment to be overcome." He was a hooah soldier he was talking about land mines and such but I read a double meaning.

I know we will make together and that this is just an obstacle ment to over come. IF you do your home work first and don't deal with it when you get to it.[/b]

Nice thought. I think you know more than you think you do. However, as to your last statement there are some obstacles, no matter how much homework you do beforehand just have to be handled on the spot by the sweat of the brow, and with lots of hope and prayers.

[shanstress70]

Awesome post, Rosie!

[LT04]

Shan I loved your post, thanks for the pep talk.

Re: to Rosie, "I think you know more than you think you do."

I by trade am a carpenter. I am required by my union to take a lot of OSHA classes each year. The biggest contributing factor to accidents each year in industry situations each year according to OSHA is over confidence.

I agree with you that home work won't always help but ten times out of ten I will always learn something from a different perspective even if the homework didn't help.

I would like to avoid pit falls before I come to them. I was told once that "good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions." I hope doing homework will turn this law from a rule of thumb to a law that only applies sometimes.

[rosie321]

Shan I loved your post, thanks for the pep talk.

Re: to Rosie, "I think you know more than you think you do."

I by trade am a carpenter. I am required by my union to take a lot of OSHA classes each year. The biggest contributing factor to accidents each year in industry situations each year according to OSHA is over confidence.

I agree with you that home work won't always help but ten times out of ten I will always learn something from a different perspective even if the homework didn't help.

I would like to avoid pit falls before I come to them. I was told once that "good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions." I hope doing homework will turn this law from a rule of thumb to a law that only applies sometimes.
[/b]

Lt04 I hope that you don't understand that I wasn't mocking your decision to gather information and making sure you have the facts and information correct. I do the same thing myself and it has helped me. Asking questions to the seemingly obvious or expressing concerns isn't always bad. As you mentioned you may learn from a different perspective or just reinforce what you thought you knew.

My only concern was that you might fall into a trap of having to have everything laid out or become wrapped up into the legalistics causing you to miss some important gospel things.. It is important to be concerned about the legalities. As you pointed out many times heartaches can be prevented. On the other hand sometimes I think to some degree faith requires us to take risks and to go where our eyes can't see. YOu are going to need a lot of faith at times due to your circumstance if your are to stay strong in the LDS church and go against the popular legalistic opinions (like your not being married in the temple). You are going to have to put your faith and trust onto God and go places sometimes that you can't see ahead of time.

Faith is the first principle of the Gospel.



An edit to the first line- I hope you DO understand

[LT04]

I'm sorry rosie!!!

No I didn't think you were mocking me at all. I have found one of my weaknesses is some times I tend to gather info to the point the problem never gets solved ( that can be bad )

I think everything will be ok in the end. It's just we decided to raise our children Catholic when we first started talking about marriage. It wasn't a big deal to me b/c I didn't go to church at all and hadn't gone for at least 3 years before we met. I still think raising them Catholic is a good idea b/c I would consider myself to be the most likely one to go inactive. She has a huge extended family here that are all very active also. I think by numbers alone they will have a larger support system for staying active. I guess I'm depressed that I won't be able to give our first child a blessing in the church. When we first found out we were having a baby the bishop we had then said that his biggest regret was he didn't get to bless his children. That has stuck with me ever seance.

I'm still thankful for all the advice I have been given. Until recent I never knew that there was a support group like this. I am deeply apreacitive for all your advice.