Marriage with seperate beliefs - Page 2

Solsalia · #11 (**permalink**) 07-26-2009, 01:54 AM

Hey guys, back again, Hubby will tell me tomorrow if he wants to work it out or not. It's been a roller coaster and I imagine it still will be a big one. I don't think divorce will happen, most likely separation for now. His heart seems to grow fonder when he's away. My Uncle calls it the great take away, I hope he chooses us though, but he hasn't.

Pretty sad actually, just a week ago I thought we were going straight to dying old together. Keeps me wondering. How much can you take, well I hit my limit and told him the ball is in his court. He needs to decide if he wants to work it out or not. Because we haven't worked on it at all

Maxel · #12 (**permalink**) 07-27-2009, 03:35 PM

Solsalia-

I hope your husband chooses the right thing to do... I'm so sorry that you're going through this. *Hug* Keep us updated!

Solsalia · #13 (**permalink**) 07-30-2009, 11:08 PM

He never did say if he wanted to stay or go. The only thing he said after waiting for him to start it up was that "I think you know what it is" I said maybe, maybe not. You need to tell me. that night he was cuddling with me when I woke up but after that he's been distant, no touching, tells the kids bye but not me when leaving. Says some things that he really hasn't tried before, like he's trying to get me to do it. This is torture. I'm very angry and I know that's what he's looking for. I need to go to the temple and get my mind on straight so I can endure this.

It's up to him, if he goes for the divorce and it goes through, there is no turning back. I will not marry again till I find a righteous lds man who believes in family and loves me no matter my faults. Everyone has them and no the grass is not greener on the other side, usually tainted until you finally realized you've been fooled. Tonight has been hard.

Maxel · #14 (**permalink**) 07-31-2009, 05:17 PM

I'm so sorry Solsalia...

I wish I could offer some words of wisdom and comfort, but all I have is "stay strong, pray, and know that God loves you". I'm so sorry you're going through this...

Vort · #15 (**permalink**) 07-31-2009, 05:19 PM

Ditto what Maxel said. God be with you.

Solsalia · #16 (**permalink**) 08-02-2009, 01:16 AM

Thank you all for your kind words and for those that have offered their friendship. I don't frequent this forum much but it sure has helped me.

My roller coaster seems to be at a stand still. I was very weak today and wanted to go with my husband and his family as almost all of them came up for karaoke. I know the Bar is not the place I should be, it was hard to not want to go with them and hope that maybe it would give us time together. In a place that is a den for the demons how could anything good come of it? Luckily I was helped in not going as I had no babysitter. They all wanted me to go and my mother in law almost stayed but I assured them to go without me.

My husband has been a little more affectionate but we've been down this road before. It's hard to open myself up to him as I don't want my heart crushed again. Very confusing as sometimes he seems to want me as his wife and other times he seems ready to leave. He has a big issue with our religious differences. He is a good father and provider, good fix it all guy too, if only we could fix this marriage together. I feel that I need to keep going on and try and do the best that I can. Things will work out for the best either way, I know I will be okay and I was given this conformation.

Again thanks all for you kind words. This time on earth is so short, but at the time it seems so long. All I have to do is hold onto that iron rod and I'll find true happiness. I do hope that my husband finds it with me. At this point he is far away from it still searching.

Maxel · #17 (**permalink**) 08-03-2009, 09:44 AM

Solsalia-

Hang in there! You can do it! Lean on the Lord when you feel too weak to go on, and He will provide. Good thinking, btw, with the no-babysitter as an excuse to avoid the bar. I think that was a very, very smart choice. Stick to your guns and keep trying to make it work- if you do that and stay faithful and prayerful, you'll come out conquerer, no matter what happens.

dazed-and-confused · #18 (**permalink**) 08-03-2009, 11:40 AM

Hi there. wish i was welcoming you under better circumstances.
Sounds like your husband is more dazed and confused than i am, as if he doesn't know what he wants or what to do? i can understand your wanting and needing to better understand things so as to not get hurt any more. i think that's a good idea. finding the balance between protecting yourself and still being open to trying to heal the situation sounds terrible to go through.
My wife is not a member either, but we've only been married a short time. this is my first, her second (widow). we are both much older than you and your husband, too.
I would say, stick to your guns, so to speak. continue to pray and keep with good company for the spiritual strength you need to get through this the best way possible.
hugs and prayers and hopes that all works out the way you want it to.

desirexnoel · #19 (**permalink**) 08-08-2009, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solsalia

I am in a horse forum and decided to find an LDS Forum. I need all the spirtitual help I can get. I am and endowed LDS member and my husband is not a member. We have 4 small children ranging in ages 1 to 5. Recently my husband has decided that he wants a divorce. He then came back and said he wanted to try again, now he is acting distant again. All this in the matter of 3 weeks. I'm not as tore up as I was before because I know I will be okay either way. I have prayed and felt confirmation several times. It's the waiting game that drives me crazy. I am trying to the best wife I can be with no regrets, some days are harder then others. I never thought of an actual divorce. I knew it would be hard as we had different beliefs but not divorce. I love him with all my heart and it's hard to see it not returned. There of course is a lot more to the story but for now I start my first post on this forum with my trial, enduring, and hopefully happy ending to this mess.

You can't really divorce anyway. Jesus was against divorce.

Matthew 5
32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

1 Corinthians 7
10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

So you have to work it out. Maybe go to couples counselling.

I hope it all works out. Sorry that things seem to be falling apart.

Best Wishes

Dez

ryanh · #20 (**permalink**) 08-08-2009, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desirexnoel

You can't really divorce anyway. Jesus was against divorce.

[sarcasam]Yeah, and the atonement was for naught, and we must save ourselves through perfection.[/sarcasam]